What Was

The field trip to the Museum of Different Stuff in the downtown core was hands-down the most anticipated of the school year, and the day had finally arrived. The hoverbus waited at the front door of the school as the eager children filed in. Once the entire class had come on board, the hoverbus ascended and gently glided away.

The excitement was palpable inside. Rowdy choruses of “Old MacDonald” and “Ninety Nine Bottles of Approved Soda-Like Beverages” could be heard from one end to the other. Twenty minutes later, they could see the museum on the right. The Museum of Different Stuff was a marvel to behold. The building itself was neuromorphic, shaped by how each individual saw it. Spires arose from each corner of the property, casting a hologram slideshow of the many wonders to be seen inside.

The hoverbus landed on pad 14 and opened its doors. The students burst out of the hoverbus as soon as the teacher gave the word, resisting every urge to run directly into the building. Soon the teacher directed the class to follow her in a single-file line. As they marched to the entrance they marveled as each step would elicit sounds of wildlife, from the squeak of a mouse to the blaring roar of a traskilit from Saturn.

Once they entered, a guide approached them from the front desk. “It’s a pleasure to have you here today,” he warmly said, “come, follow me.” They walked around the serpentine hallways, taking in the wide assortment of exhibits. They then entered a large room, stopping in the middle.

“Gather around, children,” the museum guide said cheerfully, “this is one of our most popular exhibits.” The grade 3 class surrounded the display to find… well, they didn’t know. It was the size of a baseball, shaped like a wedge and dark brown in colour. “What is it, sir?” one child asked. “This,” he answered, “is a slice of what early 21st century civilization called ‘chocolate cake’.” This prompted a young girl to ask, “What’s chocolate?” The guide smiled, and despite having answered the same question almost daily, politely said, “it was an edible product, often used in candy bars.” Whispered giggles could be heard among the children. He chuckled himself before continuing. “Yes, candy bars. Stores used to have aisles of chocolate. Sometimes they were sold two for a dollar, about 5 globo units today. And people would use it to cover strawberries, add it to ice cream, and, like we see here, a dessert called cake.”

Ms. Thompson, the teacher, was fascinated. “Why don’t we have chocolate now?” she asked. The guide sighed, “in 2037, there was an infestation of lathro bugs worldwide and they thrived on chocolate. Despite their best efforts, scientists could not find a way to stop them. 5 years later, chocolate was extinct.” One child appeared quizzical and asked, “where did this come from, then?” “Pure luck,” he said as he tousled the boy’s hair, “an elderly couple in Hershey, Pennslyvania passed away, and as their family cleaned out the estate they found this in the freezer. It was a long forgotten piece of cake from their wedding, so they donated it to us.”

He let them admire the display for a moment before stating, “ alright, let’s move along.” He left the exhibit and turned left, with the children following behind. They had only gone a few steps before a boy asked, “what did chocolate taste like?” The guide was perplexed. “Excellent question,” he said, “it apparently was similar to fauxcolate, but not blue, and by all accounts it tasted…” “Delicious!” came a shout from the back. They all turned around to see Jeffrey, licking the last few crumbs of the cake off of his fingers.