Waking Up

Audrey sat sullenly, staring out the oversized window in the brightly lit sunroom Sam had built ironically for her pleasure. It was early. Sam was already up, pruning his beloved Azaleas. She couldn’t help feeling a little nauseated at the sight of him. The brilliant pinks, and striking blues illuminating from the flowers only intensified the pale hues of Sam’s natural shade of melanin, or lack thereof. Try as she may, she was thoroughly unable to find one redeeming physical quality in him.

Sam had always been infatuated with Audrey. First time he’d laid eyes on her, he could think of no other. A girl like Audrey was unlikely to consider a guy like himself. That he was sure of. He was not her type to say the least, and he knew it. He settled with being her friend. Helping her pass her statistics class, her personal designated driver, her last choice to remedy boredom. And finally, after she’d chased all her dreams, and exhausted all of her options, Sam became her husband.

He knew she was unhappy; knew he’d made a mistake in marrying her. As with everything, he did his best to make the best of it. Despite Audrey’s blatant disappointment with him and the life they shared, they managed to have two sons. Audrey never took much interest in their boys. So, he did all he could to make it up to them. Always using the excuse, “mother isn’t feeling well today” to appease them and their questions concerning her.

The boys were grown. Each settled into their lives. Now it was just them. Sam hoped Audrey would find happiness in her life with him once the boys were gone. To his dismay, that wasn’t the case. She seemed happiest to be away from him. Often leaving without so much as a goodbye on some long-extended vacation. He never complained. He simply paid for her excursions and waited patiently for her return. In the meantime, he filled his days with maintaining his fortune and picking up hobbies with whatever time was left over.

Sam was smart. Really smart when it came to business and the proliferation of money. He knew this was the quality that landed him Audrey. In fact, Sam was successful in every facet of his life. All except for Audrey. His love and need for her had clouded his better judgment. He actually believed he could make her love him just like he could make money.

Sam strolled the still, quiet corridors of his magnificent home. Adoring all his worldly acquirements, and feeling quite pleased with himself. Questions haunted his mind, invading his solace. Why isn’t she happy? Look at all you’ve given. All you’ve provided. He winced uncomfortably, trying to evade the anguish producing thoughts. Finding himself unable to do so, he pushed them down to some obscure place deep inside, knowing inevitably they would return demanding an answer.

“Good morning, sir. Will you and the missus be having breakfast this morning?”

Sam imagined what that might be like. Sitting with Audrey, enjoying a morning meal. A fleeting thought, a distant hope. Audrey had already left for the day. No hellos, no goodbyes. Again, he pushed his thoughts down.

“No, Maria. I’ll just grab something along the way. The missus had things to do, and has already left for the day.”

Maria smiled warmly, nodded, and walked away, leaving Sam alone. He stared at the sizeable tapestry hanging before him, Manolete, standing poised and ready to deliver the final, fatal wound to the monolithic bull bearing down upon him. Man and beast bleeding the same crimson blood. The eyes of the bull captivated him. Sincere, angry, and somehow filled with remorse. All that was in and behind them, Sam could feel in himself.

He glanced at the Rolex adorning his wrist, breaking the trance between him and the eyes of the bull, then headed to his bedroom. Audrey and he had never shared a bedroom. She had her space, and he, reluctantly, had his. He scrolled through the wide array of Guanashina linen suits that hung smartly in his oversized closet, selecting a light grey with hues of violet. He eyed it carefully, feeling it the right choice for such a warm summer day, then completed readying himself, and made his way to the garage.

His eyes rested heavily on the 69, cherry red, Corvette convertible. It’d been years since he’d taken her for a spin. Audrey didn’t like the car. Didn’t like the way he looked driving it either. He resisted the urge and headed toward his black Mercedes instead. He hopped in and began his daily commute.

The route was second nature to him, barely requiring any thoughtful intervention. The monotone voices emitting from the radio, momentarily lulled him away. The sound of shattering glass, followed by screeching tires called him back to his senses.

The world around him spun uncontrollably. He watched the sky and ground flip end over end, in broken shattered pieces as if he were looking through a kaleidoscope. He could feel his body twist and contort painfully against the seat belt holding him in place. He could do nothing but observe what played out before him. He thought of his sons, thought of Audrey.

The car came to a violent stop, landing upside down in a rocky ravine. Sam located the seatbelt clasp, his clumsy fingers worked diligently to release it. Arms flailing, he tried to break his fall. The dashboard did him the courtesy. Using his legs, he pushed against what was left of the windshield, creating a hole large enough for him to climb through. He pushed and heaved his body upwards, finally freeing himself from the twisted metal of what had been his car. Long, rope like, blades of grass stretched out like helping hands all around him. He reached for one, then another, until he finally made his way to a flat piece of earth. Extending his arms and legs, he steadied his position, then exhaled, releasing all the air in his lungs. He breathed in slowly, confirming to himself he was indeed alive. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to rest.

Warm, humid air pulsated against the back of his neck, accompanied by the smell of sweet, summer grass, pulled him from his slumber. Reaching for the back of his neck, his hand met instead with something wet, warm, bristly, and large. It moved against his hand. He turned quickly to his back, and opened his eyes slowly, finding himself staring into the familiar, dark, crimson eyes of a creature.

He blinked rapidly, trying to bring into focus what stood over him. Black, with the sheen of silk, stretched over robust muscle. Ivory horns glistened with light that seemed to be sourced from them. A bull! Considerable in size. Terrified, Sam held his breath.

“Tell, me. Why should I spare you?”

The bull asked. His deep thunderous voice shook the ground beneath him. Sam searched his head for injuries. Surely he’d cracked his skull and was hallucinating.

“My question requires an answer. Otherwise, I will stomp the life out of you.”

The bull demanded.

“What are you saying to me? I don’t understand!”

Sam scrambled for a lucid thought. Something he could say to appease the beast. Fire burned behind the bull’s fixated eyes. Sam felt helplessly imprisoned by their intensity.

“Again, I ask you. Why should I spare you?”

The bull repeated. Smoke appeared to go forth from his nostrils as he snorted impatiently.

“Seems I’ve been in an accident. I must’ve injured my head. Now I’m seeing things. You’re not real. Please, just go away.”

Sam laid his head back on the cold, hard ground, closing his eyes tight. Sure when he opened them, the bull would be gone. The ground beneath him shook. A ghastly, scraping noise filled his ears as the bull pawed the ground with his massive hoove. Sam opened his eyes just in time to evade it before it came crashing down upon his forehead.

“You’re not real! Go away! Leave me be!”

Sam pleaded.

“I tire of you. I will ask again. Why should I spare you? Do not disappointment me.”

Sam turned to his side, placing his hands over his eyes, demanding himself to awaken. Terror gripped him tightly, he felt the horn of the beast lay heavily against his shoulder. How can this be real? He thought to himself. The pressure of the horn intensified.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll give you an answer.”

Sam cried out.

“Know this, you have exhausted my patients. There will be no more second chances.”

The bulled warned.

“I’m a father! I have two sons.”

Sam blurted out.

“Two sons, advanced in years. Your sons do not need you. You will not be spared.”

Again, the bull lifted his mighty hoove, resting it over Sam’s head. The fire behind the beasts eyes blazed intensely. Making his intentions fully known. Sam quickly unfurled his body, barely escaping the crushing hoove as is barreled down above him.

“Wait! Wait! I’m married. I have a wife!”

Sam pleaded.

“The woman you speak of does not love you. She has no care if you live or die. You will not be spared.”

The bull lowered his massive head. Flashes of lightening reflected against his colossal rack. Sam pushed himself off the ledge. His body plunged down, landing on the jagged rocks below. He laid still, hoping to ease the pain surging through his body.

“You cannot escape. Your attempt to save yourself bids me to ask you again. Why should I spare you?”

Sam stared in disbelief into the fiery eyes of the bull, trying to come up with a worthy answer. The bull was right. His sons were grown men, they no longer needed him. And Audrey, Audrey would be happier without him. Sam began to weep, as the meaninglessness of his life unfolded before him.

“I’m a good person. I’ve never hurt anyone. I built a successful business, and treated my employees well. That’s got to account for something.”

He said weakly.

“You assume you are good. Maybe you are. You claim you never hurt anyone. This you cannot know. I have no care for success nor business. You answers fall short of worthiness. Your life will not be spared.”

The bull lowered his head, pawed the ground, then burst forward toward Sam.

“Wait! Stop! Please, please have mercy on me. I lived my life as well as I could. What was I to do? I wanted everyday for her to love me. Gave her everything I could. Kept myself busy so I wouldn’t have to see. She doesn’t love me. She never has…”

Memories flooded Sam’s mind. Audrey’s tear swollen face the day they were married. Tears void of happiness. Disappointment in the eyes of his son’s when he sent them on vacations with Maria. The insincerity in the faces of his colleagues as they bid him good morning.

“I can think of no-good reason for you to spare me. I only ask that you would. I can do something meaningful. Please, give me another chance.”

Sam wrapped his arms around his head, laying in a tight fetal position. The heat from the breath of the bull pushing down on him. He dared not look. Not wanting to see his end. Hoping it would come quickly and painlessly.

Taking one final deep breath, he held it in, refusing to let it go. His head light with lack of oxygen, he struggled to hold it. Finally, he could hold it no longer. Letting it out, gasping for another.

“He’s alive! Call for help! Don’t worry, we’re gonna get you out of there!”

Sam’s eyes fluttered, opening slowly. A large, obsidian boulder rested dangerously close to his head.

He breathed deeply, savoring the sweat taste of air. His body broken. His life stripped of all he believed to be important. But he was alive and that mattered more than anything.