Valenhog Day

For The Voices in the Minor 'Valenhog' Challenge. If you would like to get involved in this silliness, you can join us here:

(A cherub stands precariously on the edge of a irridescent skyscraper, his bow slung over his shoulder, his quiver half-empty. The city below is brimming with human 'life' - cars inch forward - honking in frustration, couples wander along the pavement - their hands locked, but their minds elsewhere. The scene before him pixelates and jars, a relentless loop of the same vehicles, the same faces, the same dissonant noise. Starting and restarting in endless motion. He reaches for an arrow, examining it closely)

You used to mean something my dear friend. ‘One shot wonder’ Zeus used to call you. You never missed, not like his lightning bolts. Flighty little buggers. Friendly fire he says. We all know he’s just a bit of a shit shot. No-one is gonna tell him that to his face though are they?. For obvious reasons I suppose. But me. Ha! Let’s just say, we hit our target every time. Or we used to anyway. It’s gotten harder these days, hasn't it? This modern wor;d. Relentless monotony. I just can't keep living in this never-ending loop (Sighs, placing the arrow back in his quiver).

We used to be able to fix things. You and me. Help them. (He walks back and forth, peering over the edge of the building) But I've seen it all too many time to remember – the first dates that echo into failures by the second. Women escaping out of toilet windows -how undignified). Men not evening bothering to show up at the restaurant we so carefully curated -where did chivalry go? Huh? Where?

And anniversaries. Well, (He shrugs dramatically) Don't get me started! They used to mean something. Now they are just a habit a 'something' to do. There iss no foundation of desire or passion. Just a date in a calendar.

(He sits on the edge of the building, placing his head in his hands before looking upwards to the shifting sky)

How did it all go so wrong? We have to face truth my beautiful loyal arrows, we are a plaster-a bandage. A temporary fix to stem the blood loss. I have spent so long, too long watching this movie. Always the same. Breakups. Love. Breakups. Love. The arguments. Money and children mostly. The infidelity. I just can’t watch it again. I can’t (He jumps to his feet and begins pacing once more)

By Zeus, February 14th used to be special. What happened? Where did it all go wrong? Love, Genuine connections. Romance. The slow dance. All gone. It used to be my time to shine. And oh how I shone! Not anymore. Repeat, Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. No emotion. Hook ups and bust ups. All is lost.

(The city beneath him restarts. The same couples. The same cars. The same incessant noise. He stops abruptlyas realisation dawns) And you know why it happened. I’ll tell you why. And how! Swipey Mc Swipey. That’s how! I’m the king of the webby wide world Tindmemnon the great.

(Resolved now) You know what? He's had his moment! His 5 mintues in the spotlight! We're going to show him that this isn't realuty Tv. Oh no. This is REAL. I',m telling you now my friends. There will be no more Mc Love on my watch! And no one is more powerful than Eros and his arrows! Are we in comrades! (He stares at his quiver. The arrows remain innanimate). Then, let's go!

(He grabs his bow defiantly) It's time to break this endless cycle once and for all! (With his wings unfurled, he prepares to take flight) Watch out, Loveland. Eros and his arrows are here. No more shall your days be shadowed by the empty facade of Valenhog!

(Launching himself into the air, he soars above the city, a determined figure against the vast urban sprawl.) We will break free from this swiple and bring back the authenticity of love. Real love. A love that transcends the swipe for evermore!