True Love

After the funeral, we finally get things squared away and called the movers. Terry will be heading back to the house to get things prepared for them. “Now, just stay here and relax baby. If there is anything you need, just take the truck to town and grab whatever you need. I will be back in a day or two. I just need to explain to them what to pack up and how to get here.” He says, his eyes showing me that this is hard on him. We have never been apart for too long, until now.

“Ok, good looking. How long until you have to leave? Do we have time for some “coffee” before you go?” I turn red as he just grabs my hand and leads me to the kitchen table. He whips me around and forces me over the table. Oh, God. I love it when he takes me like this. I know I am safe with him and he would never hurt me but MAN does this sex machine know how to get me wet. I could not even count how many times I popped off but I could barely walk afterward. As I head to the bathroom, he chases me and tries to grab my naked ass like a crab yelling, “YUMMY!! YUMMY!! YUMMY!!” I giggle and tell him to stop it as I burst into the bathroom.

After I am done, I head back downstairs and he grabs me and kisses me deeply and tells me, as all men should, how exceptional I made him feel. We settle down at the table, giggling over what we just did, and discuss the plans for the day until he leaves.

After we kiss and he heads into his Uber, I head back inside to tackle that German Chocolate cake again. My only weakness, other than his cock. I sit down and snuggle up with the blanket and turn on the TV.

You will fail at this. Just as you have failed in life. This will not last and then what will you do? I feel a huge burden all over. Where am I? What is going on? Who the hell was that? You are worthless. Look at your job. No one wants you around. What makes you think he will marry you. You’re ugly and fat. He’s just using you for sex and that is not that good either. You should just kill yourself. If you loved him, you would do it.

I sit up, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. What in the actual fuck just happened? Why do I keep having this dream and why does it seem to get darker and darker. Ugh, I don’t need this right now. Things are so much better now. Why the hell am I always thinking this way? Why the fuck can’t I shake this feeling and wake up?

I head upstairs and run a bath. How the hell did it get so late? I did not think I even fell asleep until I sat up. That felt so real and who the hell was that? It sounded dark and guttural, almost distorted in a way. “GO AWAY!!” I scream at the top of my lungs. I did not need this again. Ever since I have been with Terry, I have not had these dreams. He is always there to wake me up or hold me. Since arriving here, they seem to be getting worse each night.

I shake my head and get into the bath. Aaaaaahhhhhhh, nice, warm, and the best thing I can feel on my body since he is not home. Mmmmm….I love the way his hands feel on my body. Caressing me in the most loving way. I set my wine glass down and start washing up, thinking of that cake again and just relaxing tonight. Tomorrow, I will start cleaning things up and waiting for him to come back.

After I wash up, I start to relax. A little too much for me. As my head dips under the water, I sit up and pull the plug. What the hell? Time to retire to the couch again and wait for him to call. I grab my plate and head down. I swear, if I don’t shake this soon, I will be pissed. I put the plate down and cover myself up with the blanket and start my endless search for something to watch.

After about ten minutes of hopelessness, my phone goes off. I grab it, thinking it was a call but no, just another dick pic with the comment, “He misses you.” and a smirky smiley face. God, I love this man. It is like he knows when I am down. I reply back with, “Well, I miss him also. I also miss the person it is attached to. How are you doing my love?” I put the phone down and continue searching and it goes off again. “I’m lonely and miss my baby. This should be wrapped up soon. Sorry, jet-lagged and tired. I will call you tomorrow baby. I love you and I hope you get some sleep.” I reply back, “Ok sexy. I love you more and I will talk to you tomorrow. You’re interrupting DateLine.” I send a winking face.

You really think he is alone there? I bet he is banging as many girls as he can. That way he knows how good pussy feels before coming home to your broken one. I am standing in a field now and no idea where I am. The sky is looking darker and darker. The clouds are coming in fast but there is no wind. “What the fuck.” I say as I try to figure out what is going on. Do it. Kill yourself and end this man’s misery with you. Come to me and see what your life should be like. I mouth “What the fuck” this time. I see no one around. Who the hell cou….

As I turn back around, there is a shape standing before me. I scream and fall back onto the hard ground. I did not remember ever feeling pain like that in a dream before. I try to scoot away from it. It does not appear to be moving toward me. I finally stand up, just as it extends an arm, or something, toward me. I scream again and run as fast as I can. I keep turning back to see if it is following me but it is gone. OH, HELL NO!! I am not one of those dumb bitches in those old slasher flicks that gets taken because I forgot how to maintain balance. I run as fast as I can and when I turn around again, things start to spin again. What is going on?

I stop and try to get my bearings. The sky is completely dark and I can barely see. I see a light in the distance and try to run to it but I am having a hard time focusing my eyes. Everything is distorted again. Here! Let me help you end it all!! I turn around and that thing is almost in my face. I spin around and everything goes black.

I wake up on the couch. Crying, I grab my phone to see if I missed a text from him. Hoping that he was still awake. What is going on with me? I get up and stumble to the bed and fall into it. Barely able to do anything but flop on it. I wake up God knows when; to the phone going off. Is that time right? It can’t be. How did 12 hours go by already?

“Hey, babe. Sorry, I missed your call….”

“Are you ok? I have been trying to get ahold of you for hours. I was so worried and I am so fucking glad you answered. I will be there in an hour. The movers will be here in a couple of weeks. Just grab some coffee and I will be there soon.” He sounded distressed. I tried to calm him down. I explained the dreams I was having and how I was feeling. He reassured me that things were getting better and we could talk or chill when he got home.

That night, we snuggled up on the couch and watched some Stand Up Comedy. After our dessert. Me with my cake and him with his…..pie. I love his tongue and could not help myself. He took everything out of me that night. So much so that I did not know what was going on when I woke up.

I was outside again. This time in a total shitstorm of rain and lighting. Each time I tried to figure out where I was, the lightning would strike and blind me. Are you ready yet? Ready to come to me? I have been waiting so long for you. You will do nothing but break this kind man. Do you really want to damage him? Don’t you love anyone but yourself, you selfish bitch. Do you really think he enjoyed having that broken clam in his face? Having to run his tongue on sewer you call a twat! Come to me and I will make these feelings go away. I turn around twice, trying to make something out but I can’t focus on anything. The lightning is making it hard to see anything for too long. I suddenly feel a hand on my right shoulder. It spun me around faster and harder than I had ever felt. I was terrified and petrified. I could not move a muscle or slow my breathing down.

“GO AWAY!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!” But I’m the only one who has ever understood you. The only one who has been there with you. Loved you, when no one else could stand to look at your ugly face. YOU DARE TELL ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE!! I feel another hand on my shoulder and I am shoved backward, hard. I fall on the ground with such force that I bite my cheek. Then my head slams onto the hard earth. My vision is getting blurry and everything is distorted again. Where is it? Where did it go?

I get up and start stumbling around, moving my hands in front of me, searching for anything I can to tell me where I am. Lightning flashes again. I manage to find some trees in the distance. Are those the same trees from before? Why is my head so foggy? I push on, towards them. Trying to see if I can find the same path. To see if I can make it further than last time. Try to find something to help me figure out what the fuck is going on.

THERE!! I see something in the distance that looks like a light. Is that the same light from before? You can’t escape me. I will always find you. We will be together soon. You wake up and I will see you again. Very soon my love. I will feel your embrace. I stumble towards this, light. Everything is spinning again. The rain sounds strange, like it is slowed down. The lighting seems to be taking longer and longer to spread across the sky but it does not help me focus more. It is like I am slowing down. My whole body. Jerry? Jerry? Where are you? I need you baby…...everything goes black again...