Triplets Torn Asunder

She died.

Eleven months ago, our identical sister Lynn died. Our third, a fraternal brother, Louis, became deeply depressed. He did a psilocybin retreat in the Netherlands, followed by intense psychotherapy in Munich, Germany, trying to recover. 

The torn-asunder Whitlock triplets had gone awry.

**

Through the closed door, Jimmy shouts to me, "Lydia, can I come in?" Sometimes, it's, "Lydia, are you sleeping?" Or, "Lydia, I love you; Honey, please let me come lie with you and hold you." Jimmy and I have been married for four years. All I hear is his litany of Lydias in a whiny tone, the words garbled. It sounds more like "Lydcha, lady lying; Lydcha slappy lovey. Lydcha bees come by." I want him to go away and get away from the door.

When he left, Jimmy slammed the door shut and didn't turn off the television. "Shut the fucking TV off, will ya?" I screamed, but it came out, "fucking TV, oh." Whatever, Jimmy had left.

I'm buried like a corpse in the blankets, a poly-filled pillow shoved against my breasts and two queen-sized ones holding my belly and thighs. Like a pig on a spit, I turn every few hours. I will never be finished; I will be undercooked, blood-rare - forever. 

Lynn is gone. I can't progress through life without her, and all is confusion. Why did I marry Jimmy? Did Lynn approve?

"LOU, where are you?" I cried into my pillow. "Lou, help me, save me, talk to me."

I threw off the blankets and went to the toilet, sobbing. Carefully scrubbing my hands, I shrieked, "LOU! Where the hell are you?"  

"Where's the stupid phone? Dammit!" The foul mouth that I am, furious curses were flying out of me, curses that would embarrass Lynn and Lou - if Lou were here. He can out-cuss anyone, stringing filthy words together into brand-new adjectives. The wailing upset Fizzy, my cat, and he pawed my shin in commiseration, so I stroked his head.

A whirling dervish, I was spinning all over the room, flinging things, searching for the phone. The mirror had an apparition so scary I twisted my left knee, almost losing my balance. "What the hell!"

My hair, not washed for a week, was bushy and had specks of lint from the flannel sheets. Pooled around my face, my curls puffed out into a lion's mane. Dark, lemur-like eyes were droopy, with discolored bags underneath. A face blotched from crying, my cheeks sunken, jawline and neck all puffy. The water retention made it all worse; I stroked my round belly with one hand, staring at my reflection.

***

Jimmy was at the Roadhouse, munching peanuts with his best friend Chad, working on his second Dos Equis. Chad listened to Jimmy's heartbreaking tale about Lydia hiding in the bedroom. "You have to take her to counseling."

"She won't leave the house; no TV or talking on the phone. If Lou would get his ass back here, maybe he could help, but no one knows where he is."

***

The aforementioned Lou was currently tripping on drugs and practicing yoga and tai chi in the Sonoran Desert south of Tucson at a spiritual retreat. Guests were taking ayahuasca, smoking weed, or using LSD. He no longer had a cell phone or address and was floating through life, like a shed feather on sea currents, heading wherever the current took him.

A redhead bodybuilder was questioning him on his life's purpose. "You have no compulsion other than meander, high on drugs, moving from place to place? You don't want to contribute to the world?"

"Dude, whaddaya mean?" Lou asked him. "I told you, one of my triplet siblings is dead. My contribution was being a brother to my two triplet sisters. The living sister is married; her husband takes care of her, so I'm free to travel the world, spending the insurance money I got from Lynn's death." The surfer dude passed his joint to Lou, who took a long inhale.

"Well, your sister still needs you. I would never desert my sister if I had one. Nice talking to ya."

***

Lydia found the phone on the floor behind the base of the toilet. She sat on the toilet rim, looking at it, but the battery needed charging. "Of course! Fucking electronics!" 

She rummaged for a phone charger. Frustrated, she threw the phone into a heap of clothes and crawled under the comforter again. Her depression smothered her ego and soul; she couldn't rise above the overwhelming fatigue she felt every moment. Jimmy found her asleep when he quietly sneaked in. He loved the heavyweight fights, MMA, and professional wrestling and was quite vocal while watching. He saw Lydia's phone and charged it while yelling at the fighters.

His yelling woke her. I could choke to death, and he wouldn't know; he makes so much noise. 

"I charged your phone, Honey. Did you want to call someone? Can I come in?" She hunkered down in her bedding, not responding. "Lyds? Hon? Want to watch TV with me, Babe?" She didn't answer - she wanted Lynn. No – she yearned for Lou. 

Or, even cousin Lenny would do. The Whitlock Triplets had been the Three Musketeers; with Lenny, they were the Four Musketeers. Lenny had disappeared like Lou and Lynn.

I'm all alone. No, you dumb bitch, you have Jimmy! She berated herself for forgetting about her sweet Jimmy. What is wrong with me? 

Jimmy compartmentalized his feelings. His stress levels stayed low, and he quickly let go of his anger. She felt guilty for not spending time with him. Every time she vowed to shower, dress, put on makeup, and greet him after work, the depression pushed her back into the hole with no way out and no possible action. 

A Month Later

Lou was bored with the desert, drugs, and nothingness. He paid cash for a secondhand car in Tucson and took his time driving home. He would depart late from the cheap motels each day and eat while driving.

*

"Hi, Jimmy."

He almost jumped out of his jeans when he heard her voice behind him. He leaped over the couch and stood before Lydia, looking her up and down. The sunlight gleamed through the window onto her pink skin and freshly combed hair, glorious in shorts, a tank top, and an oversized shirt. Smiling, her feet bare and breasts almost breaching the tank top, she faced him, one hand on her heavy belly.

"You look beautiful." Jimmy gently touched her cheek, running his index finger down her jawline. "Are you feeling okay?" She nodded. "I'm hot; it's stifling in here."

"We can go outside or for a ride. The car has A/C."

"Yeah, the ride." After she maneuvered her heavy bottom into the passenger seat, Jimmy smoothly entered traffic, heading to a tree-filled city park.

"Do you want to sit in the shade or walk under the trees?" She wanted to walk, so he helped her out of the vehicle. Wrapping her in his arms, Jimmy pointed to Mourning Doves in the tree, his chin resting lightly on her head. "Look, they are loving it up," he chuckled; the birds bobbed their heads and touched beaks. He took her hand and led her toward the rose garden arbor she loved.

"I'm sorry I've been such a pisser. Lynn was my other third, you know?" Jimmy nodded and squeezed her hand. "Do you think Lou will ever come back?"

"I don't know, Sweetheart. He is a tough nut; wherever he is, he's okay. He hasn't contacted me or Lenny." Depression consumed her again, and tears streamed down her cheeks. Jimmy pulled a small piece of paper from his pocket as her sobs subsided. He uncrumpled it and handed it to her.

"What's this?" she asked, looking at a short list of names - Girl: Lana, Lacey, Lorraine, Mia, Marie, Marcy - Boy: Lyle, Lincoln, Leo, Mory, Mason, Marc

"Do you like any of those names? L names for the Whitlock triplets and the M ones for your dad."

"I hadn't thought about it. Whatever you want, I don't care."

"Baby, you have to care. Please, please care!"

"All right, Jimmy, I will try. Let's go home, I'm tired." He hid his disappointment. She doubled over, climbing into the passenger seat, huffing loudly, "Owwwww."

"What is it? Did you hit your head?"

"No! It hurts, it hurts." She was blowing, trying to breathe through pain, holding her belly mound, huffing out short breaths.

Startled by a woman's voice, "Hi, can I assist? I'm a nurse." Jimmy stepped back to let her talk to Lydia.

"I'm Amy. What is your due date, Hon?"

"I, I," Lydia stammered. "My goodness, what's today?"

"It's August 5th, Babe," Jimmy said. Amy was holding Lydia's hand, coaching her breathing.

"My due date was July 26th."

"You need to call her doctor. This is your first, correct?" He tried to be calm but failed. "Jimmy! Call her doctor now!" He put Amy on the phone and held Lydia's hand while the nurse consulted with the doctor's office.

"How far do you live from here?" When he answered, Amy took charge, climbing into the back seat with Lydia.

*

Lou accelerated into the intersection only to be struck by a Dodge Durango. His neck whiplashed, and his vehicle spun around. His insurance company advised him to get checked out, so he drove to the ER.

He gave the ER receptionist a Visa charge card and listened to a woman tell an ER nurse, "She is overdue, so I hope everything will be okay." Lou's stomach flipped, his intuition sending shocks to his belly. He had been gone for a month, and his triplet sister had been expecting her first child when he left.

"Where is Labor and Delivery?" and then Lou sped there, where he saw Jimmy. "Is she in labor?" He grabbed Jimmy in a fierce hug. 

"Where have you been? She needed you! She was immobile in our bed all this time, crying. I hate you for that, Lou. But I love you too! Wait, how did you know?"

"My gut - it's a triplet sibling thing. Where is she?"

"Damned Whitlock intuition!" Jimmy replied. They peeked their heads into Lydia's room, seeing her sucking ice chips and stroking her belly.  

"Oh, MY GOD, Lou, you're back!!" That wail frightened them so much that they stayed out of the room. Lou was sent to the waiting area, and Jimmy was taken into the room and stationed at Lydia's head. It wouldn't be long.

*

Lincoln weighed nine pounds and three ounces at birth, and Lydia was breastfeeding. Jimmy opened the curtains wide, wanting the sunlight to keep her depression at bay. He stepped out into the hallway. "She's been hibernating since her sister's death. Now her brother is back and with Baby Linc here, I don't want her to drop into a depression. How can we stop post-partum blues?" Jimmy asked the nurse practitioner.

"With her depression history, a specialist will meet with you before her discharge."

A nurse tucked the covers around the baby and mother inside the room. "Would you like me to put him in his bassinet?" she asked, but Lydia snored softly.

 "Shhh, you two!" the nurse hushed Lou and Jimmy as they joked around in the hallway - two best pals keeping watch over their family.