Tree Climb

The two boys looked at the giant tree, and then back at the girl. "What?" the girl said.

"This... isn't an apple tree," the first boy pointed out.

"Yeah, it's a pear tree," the second boy answered.

"Look, there aren't any apple trees around here. I said I had to improvise these trials, which was the best I could do on short notice! Besides, how was I going to get a lion? What was I supposed to do for a hydra? Where else were we going to find deer? Who else's barn were you guys going to clean out? Why wouldn't we use pigs instead of boars since we were already on the farm? How am I supposed to find metal birds? Why wouldn't we use the mechanical bull? Why would I put you guys near flesh-eating horses? Why wouldn't I use one of my own belts? And why wouldn't you guys help with the cows? Now, any other stupid questions?"

"You could have asked where an apple farm was," the first boy answered.

"Look, do you jerks want to complete this Twelve Labors of Heracles Challenge before we get arrested for all of the things we've done imitating this?" the girl retorted. The two boys looked at each other and shrugged. "Okay, for the next Labor... you have to race up this tall tree and retrieve for me the fruit of it. The first to present me with a non-bruised pear wins!"

"Ugh, not another climbing challenge," the second replied.

"Just get the damn pear!" the girl ordered, pulling out her cell phone to record the race. "Ready? Set? Go!" The two boys ran at the tree and began climbing it. The girl, meanwhile, casually sat down, keeping an eye out for any police officers. 'Today has been going great! It won't matter who wins, boys... because soon, you'll both lose!'

The first boy grabbed at the tree, digging into the bark with his fingers. The second, meanwhile, used the freshly won belt to pull himself up the tree. This gave the second boy an advantage, since he avoided hurting himself on the wood, and the first boy struggled with his grip. Eventually, the second boy reached the branches, and pulled himself up into one, and began shimmying along the branch to acquire one of the pears.

The first boy, meanwhile, finally got to one of the branches, and looked at his rival. "No you don't," he growled, and pulled on a higher branch, pulling it down to him. He then began bouncing on the branch the other boy was standing on, and began shaking the upper branch. The second boy yelled as the branch shook.

"What is wrong with you!?" he called back to his rival.

"Got to do what it takes to win!" the first boy said, stomping hard on the branch, causing it to snap. The boys' combined weight was enough to send it plummeting to the ground, the second boy and all. The first boy, however, held onto the first branch, and casually plucked a pear.

"Ooh, that was harsh," the girl winced while the second boy crashed into the ground. Lucky for him, the branch took most of the fall, but he was still definitely hurt. The first boy, meanwhile, tossed the pear he picked down into her hand. "Well... while I can't exactly say what you did was honorable, you DID win the labor!"

"Hell yeah I did!" the first boy cheered. "Now, we've got to fight Cerberus!"

"Aren't you concerned for me just a little bit?" the second boy groaned.

"Not in the slightest," the first boy said, climbing down the tree. "I need to win one more labor and I'm the next Heracles! So come on! Where's the dog?"

"Oh, about Cerberus," the girl said. "I'm going to be perfectly honest with you before we get over there. I had to find three dogs, not just the one."

"...What?" the second asked, sitting up and holding his sore chest.

"Cerberus is a three-headed dog," the girl pointed out. "They don't breed three-headed dogs in the real world, dumbasses. So like the other trials, I had to improvise with my big brother's dogs!"

"So, what kind of dogs are they?" the first boy asked.

About an hour later, the three teens were standing face-to-face with three fully grown and angry chocolate labradors. The two boys looked at the girl as she casually closed the cage they were in, and held up her phone.

"Best two of three, boys!" she said. She then whistled, and the dogs attacked the two boys.