To Return Home Again

It’s the hundreds of ribbons and bows tied to the Blarian tree that serves as my motivation to leave once more.

I sit on a nearby crate of supplies: ropes, pitons, mess kits, spare daggers, crossbows, and ammunition that’s prepared to be loaded on an airship. I’ve looked through our cargo about a dozen times by this point, so any longer would be pointless. It would be worthwhile to trust the others to load everything correctly for our mission.

The air is eerily calm despite the dozens of gnomes strapped with swords and slung crossbows getting ready to cause a lot of bloodshed. Every now and then the vision of a human or dwarf paints the background. It seems our province is getting desperate for outside aid. Despite that, it’s nice to take a breather and enjoy home for a while, since it may be a while…or never…that we’ll return.

My vision returns to the Blarian tree: its colorful ribbons painting the sky in a variety of colors, although there are more white ones than not. The bland straw huts that encompass the background seem to make the flash of color that much more pointed. It pains me to hear that among the calm breeze, tiny cries and sorrowful exchanges can be heard from some of the other families. Truth be told, what makes this place so special isn’t the protected forest that seems to lift your spirits as you travel through it, it’s the lack of spirit for when you leave.

As I continue to sit back on my crate, watching over everything, I sense a set of footsteps coming up behind me. I turned back and saw another gnome: short red pixie hair with a similar traditional garb that most of the other families wore.

She is still as beautiful as the day I accidentally stumbled into her.

Jenlef placed her hand on my shoulder, gently rubbing to ease any tension I had. Who am I kidding? It eased ALL the tension I had built up. Her golden eyes were another burst of color in these troubled times. And in those eyes, I saw it all: sadness that I had to leave again, hope that I’ll return like before, and as much as I don’t want to sense it, a slight regret. Maybe from falling in love with someone whose responsibility expands beyond the Province.

I take her hand and kiss it, before pulling her in front of me to embrace. Her warm skin comforted my thoughts, if only for a moment, before returning to reality. All I could ask for was a moment anyway, as the way her hands flowed through my hair brought me back to my warm fantasy. A fantasy where there weren’t dark forces in the world that we had to deal with. One where “the ability” didn’t create evil men and unleashed the darkest monstrosities the world has seen.

The idea that I could stay here with my wife forever.

I look up at her face, my arms still wrapped around her, and tell that she is just as troubled as the other families. I try to think of something, but what could I possibly say? Jenlef has known me for eighty years now, and she knows how long I have acted in this line of work. It’s never easy to say goodbye for possibly the last time. Finally, something comes to mind: a fond memory to share to maybe distract her from the impending future.

Staring into her eyes, my mouth opens to say something, before she rests a finger on my lips. A gentle nod says it all: come back to me when it is over. I continue to look at her and share my understanding. She looks down at my attire: some armour made of bark and hide with a couple of tools hanging from a belt. My dagger, along with tiny vials of venom, is slung just below the left side of my ribs in the event I need to quickly grab it.

She reaches down towards the handle, unsheathing my dagger carefully with her delicate hands, a sharp contrast to my war-torn hands. Reaching from her pocket, Jenlef continues her tradition of tying a white ribbon to my dagger’s hilt, instead of to the Blarian tree like the others.

The white ribbon. A symbol of a peaceful return.

The tiny bow just barely pokes out the top of my blade’s sheath when it is placed back. I grab her hands once more while staring into her tearful eyes.

I nod to acknowledge her message.

I will do what it takes to return home again.