Third Times the Charm

I’d like to preface this long winded story by saying that I was never that girl that believed one day I would meet my prince charming and he would save me from my less than charmed life. My parents have been split for as long as I can remember and for years I watched as they picked and poked at each other, each making the other miserable to try and win whatever contest they were playing. If the prize was me, my mom had it in the bag. She had primary custody which equaled primary control. But no, I was not the prize, being a pain in my dad's ass seemed to be the main goal and she succeeded at that as well.

It was the summer before I started high school, my dad just announced his engagement to his girlfriend of six months Bethany. She was sweet, she had two boys a few years younger than me and she seemed to make my dad happy so I was on board. Mom on the other hand was bitter that he moved on before she did and within a few weeks of the announcement she got this great job opportunity that was a two hour drive away. It was genius on her part really, a two hour drive is hardly enough to renegotiate the terms of their split custody but it definitely made it a real bitch for my dad considering every other weekend he’d spend eight hours driving to get me. The inconvenience for my father was nothing in comparison to the complete uprooting of my life, not to mention in the following years I would be able to drive and the only person who would be inconvenienced by the whole thing was me. But alas my objection did little to deter my mother, so away we went.

The town was small, which made the idea of starting school even more daunting. If it was a bigger town maybe I could just slip in undetected but everyone knows everyone in these small towns and I just needed to brace myself to be the topic of conversation for at least a week. Lucky for me that first day my mom dropped me off early because she had to get to work and fill out some paperwork. I was able to get in before the buses arrived and park myself near my first class and buried my nose in my copy of Pet Sematary. As chatter began to fill the hallways I got more and more anxious, but I stayed the course. Sit in my corner, read my book, wait for the bell. It was simple. Though it didn’t last, there I was minding my own business when a rather large frame stepped into my peripherals. I looked up to see a tall lanky kid with black hair and bubbly blue eyes. His face alone looked like he belonged in an Abercrombie ad but he dressed like he was about to take on Tony Hawk at the X Games.

“You’re in my spot” He said with a smirk.

Without a word I started to get my stuff and stand up. It is a rare occurrence that I was at a loss for words. I mean, as an aspiring writer I fancied myself something of a linguist. But here I was silently gawking like I'd never seen an attractive boy in my life. Then again, most of the attractive ones didn’t really talk to me.

“Woah woah I was just kidding.” He chuckled, throwing a hand out to signal I didn’t need to actually get up.

“Ah, got me.” I smiled, awkwardly sinking back down.

He tossed his bag down next to me before sitting down himself, “I’m Luka.”

“Claire.” I nodded, reaching back in my bag for my book.

He didn’t really talk much after that, which was a relief. Eventually, the Biology teacher showed up and gave us all our assigned seats. I was front and center, of course, but I was paired at a desk with Luka which was another small weight lifted off my shoulder. At least I know my partner wouldn’t be prying at me trying to get the inside scoop on who the new girl is. After a brief skimming of the syllabus and the classroom standards he paired us off with our desk buddies to “get to know each other” and learn about plant cells. Luka was incredibly smart despite his model good looks and his teenage dirtball sense of style. He was like a walking, talking enigma, and the longer we worked together the more eager to figure him out I became.

I made it through the next several hours of course overviews and classroom expectations relatively unscathed, lunch was awkward but I knew it would be and When that final bell rang I went and sat outside to wait for my mom. She was a trauma nurse, the hours were crazy demanding and it wasn’t in her nature to just up and leave when someone needed help. It was one of the things I admired about her, despite her innate desire to spite my father she had a good heart. But that’s being said there were many times she would be too busy to get me from school. Turns out this was one of those times.

After about an hour I had given up hope, I slung my bag over my shoulder and started to walk. I was like ninety percent sure I would remember where to go if I saw it but I could not have been more wrong, the sun was sinking fast as I wandered around aimlessly not sure where I was or where to go. I tried my mom again with no luck, panic started to set in as the the street lights flickered on. I was engrossed in my phone looking through all my messages for some sort of address when I heard a screen door slam.

“You lost?”

I looked up to see Luka sauntering in my direction with a trash bag in his hand and a smirk playing at his lip. You’d think by now I would have grown accustomed to this sort of thing happening but here I was shocked at the audacity of the universe. Couldn’t they tell I was already having a rough night? There was no need to add pretty boy into the mix yet again.

“All these houses look the same.” I flung my hands in the air, gesturing at the cookie cutter neighborhood.

“Oh shit, you really are lost?”

“Yes, I really am lost.” I threw myself down on the curb, and without a word Luka popped a squat right next to me.

Sensing my frustration he asked, “You wanna talk about it?” Just as a loud crash and yelling ensued inside his house.

“You wanna talk about that?” My eyes shifted to his dimly lit house.

“Touche,” He slapped his hands on the sidewalk and lifted himself up, “come on.”

He offered a hand to help me up and I followed him around to the back of his house. His backyard was huge and tucked away in the back corner was a small little barn, it looked old and out of place but that seemed to be exactly where we were going. I’ll admit the thought that he might murder me crossed my mind but I could also get murdered walking the streets alone at night so I took my chances. As we approached the dilapidated building I noticed the door was missing and in its place was what looked like a shipping pallet,, not that it mattered because there were boards missing all over the thing. We made our way into the barn and to my surprise it was furnished with a few mismatched chairs and an old looking stereo. There was a small table that had some books and drawing supplies on it. Spaciously it was no bigger than a large bedroom.

“Make yourself at home,” He offered as he sat himself down on a tattered yellow armchair.

I sat down and pulled out my assignments to kill the time. He grabbed a sketchpad and started to scribble in it. We sat there in comfortable silence for the next two hours, the only noise came from the scratching of his pencil on the paper and the occasional ‘hoot’ from a little barn owl. Eventually my mom called, apologizing profusely, and came to pick me up. The screaming inside Luka’s house was still going on when he walked me to the curb where my mom waited.

“See you tomorrow.” He said, awkwardly shoving his fists in his pockets.

“Ya, see you tomorrow.”

The next day I decided to go in early again and surprisingly Luka had beat me. He was sitting in the hallway with two cups of coffee and a triumphant grin on his face. That sort of became our routine, he’d meet me before our first class every day with coffee, walk me to my next class and then nine times out of ten I would show up at his house after school when my mom got stuck at work late.

There was one night in particular that his parents were really screaming at one another, I could tell he was uncomfortable so I suggested we go for a walk. Two blocks down we found this ugly little red loveseat on the curb with a piece of paper that said “free” on it so obviously we decided to haul it the two blocks back to the barn. When we finally got it in place we threw ourselves down to try it out, practically hyperventilating, and before I could catch my breath his lips came crashing onto mine. As fast as he came swooping in he pulled back, looking at me with his bright blue eyes, searching for the signal, the green light that said I wanted this too. Before I could reason my way out of the feelings swirling around inside I leaned into him, taking his face into my hands and kissing him just as hungrily as he kissed me.

After that I was done for, I mean hook line and sinker he had me. The way they depict love in the movies had nothing on the things I felt for Luka. The butterflies in my stomach when he was around, the tingle in my toes when he’d kiss me, the never ending desire to be around him and the overwhelming amount of space he took up in my head when I wasn’t. It was borderline insanity but I guess that’s what love is, right? Because no sane person would give another person the sole power to completely destroy them at the drop of a hat.

Luka and I were together for about a year when some small argument swung out of control and our fickle teenage emotions had us both running for the hills. The irony that all these big grown up feelings could fall apart over a fight so unimportant that I can’t even remember what it was about is not lost on me. Nevertheless there was a heartache, and nothing heals heartache like a little time and Luka moving helped a bit too. I went on to graduate at the top of my class, I’d gotten accepted to NYU school of the Arts and all that young love stuff was a distant memory.

College was a blast but it turns out that a Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts is not the most lucrative degree for a fresh graduate. The need to eat and keep a roof over my head is what had me cocktail waitressing at a very popular night club. There I was making my way up the stairs to where the VIP’s sat, oozing superiority all over the rest of the club goers when some frat kid trying to shmooze his way in knocked a tray full of cocktails all over me. If that wasn’t bad enough the ordeal sent me tumbling backwards and just as my life began to flash before my eyes a strong set of arms caught me and forced me upright. I turned to thank my knight in shining armor only to be met by a familiar set of blue eyes.

“Luka Fitzpatrick,” I whispered.

He looked back at me just as dumbfounded by the situation as I was, but just as he opened his mouth to speak, some of those rich folk started hollering at him from the VIP section. He stayed for a moment longer before sidestepping me and disappearing behind the red velvet rope. But not before whispering a hardly audible apology. Unfortunately, I had a big mess to clean up and a tray full of drinks to replace so I didn’t have time to spiral out over the feelings that started to emerge the second our eyes met.

The night went on and every so often I would make eye contact with Luka, I’d causally look in his direction only to find him glaring at me like I was his mortal enemy. This brooding side of him was not one I was accustomed to. The Luka I knew was a soft ball of sunshine and this one is like a roaring Harley, dangerous and yet completely exhilarating and admittedly sexy as hell. He was no longer the lanky boy in tattered band shirts. He sat there in slacks and a button down shirt, the sleeves looked like they were holding on for dear life and they were rolled up revealing a myriad of tattoos. His boyish abercrombie face had grown sharper and full of ebony stubble and his eyes that once held so much light were darker, like a window into the storm that brewed inside his head. I tried my best to avert my eyes but time and time again they wandered his direction, there was a small pang in my chest when I looked over and noticed he and his posse had left. Time had made us virtually strangers to one another but the lack of a goodbye bothered me all the same.

It was damn near four thirty when I was trudging up the stairs to my tiny studio apartment. I shuffled my keys around looking for my apartment key when I noticed the door was slightly ajar. Self preservation be damned. I pushed the door open only to see a large raven haired man sitting on my worn out gray futon. I stood there in the hallway, mouth gaping open like a washed up fish as he typed away on his phone not bothering to look up at me.

“Are you going to stand there all night?” He asked, still not bothering to look up.

I stepped in, slowly closing the door behind me. It felt like freshman year all over again, here I am at a loss for words around him. In my short twenty-four years he is the only one who seems to make me forget how to properly apply the English language. I shuffled over to my truly miniscule island counter and set down my purse and slipped out of my high heel shoes. My feet were screaming at me to take a seat but I just stood there, confused and utterly speechless.

“Still as talkative as ever I see,” He stood, shoving his phone in his slacks.

“What are you doing here?” I interjected.

He took two large strides effectively inserting himself in my personal space, “Just wanted to catch up for old times sake.” His fingers twitched at his side before he balled them up and shoved them in his pockets.

“I meant in my apartment at four o’clock in the morning, if you wanted to catch up for old time sake you could have talked to me in the hours you spent glaring at me at the club. Why. Are. You. Here.”

“I don’t know,” His face softened like he had no genuine idea what possessed him to come here like this, “I will let myself out.”

I let out a sigh, “Wait, would you like some coffee?”

Even as the words left my mouth I wasn’t sure why I said them. I mean he broke into my apartment, god knows how long he’d been sitting here waiting for me to get off. But it was Luka and I refuse to believe that he had any malicious intentions despite the death glare he was giving me all night. He stayed and we talked until the sun started to make it’s morning debut, then he excused himself so I could get some sleep, lord knows I needed it.

He left me with this hollow feeling in my chest. Part of me longed for the old Luka, the one that brought sunshine to my darkest days but I knew just as surely as the old Claire was virtually gone, so was he. I didn’t know when I would be seeing him again and I surely didn’t think It would be that night at the same club. He did the same brooding in the corner routine and just as the morning before he was waiting for me at my apartment when I got off.

“Again?” I asked as I shrugged out of my jacket.

“Have dinner with me.” He said matter of factly. This time his attention was on me and me alone, no cell phone in sight.

“It’s four o’clock in the morning.”

He flashed me that panty dropping smirk that he must have spent the last six years perfecting, “I meant tonight.”

“I don’t know Luka, we tried this once already, remember?”

He stepped toward me, gently placing his hand on my hip, “We were kids, do you even remember why we split? Cuz I sure as hell don’t.”

The seconds ticked by as he examined me with those piercing blue eyes of his and the next minute I was agreeing to a dinner date with my ex-boyfriend, call me Eve because I just could not resist that forbidden fruit. I knew as soon as I agreed that he would be my undoing once again. All I could do was brace myself as the avalanche that is Luka Fitzpatrick swept me up for the second time.

All it took was one dinner for me to remember all the things I loved about Luka, little bits of his bright light were still there, muffled by the expectations of adulthood. Sometimes it would feel like no time had passed, others it would feel like we were milenia apart. We continued to see each other and despite the hardships of navigating an adult relationship I grew to love him more than I ever did before. He lit my world on fire and I was all too happy to burn right along with it. The next few years were a spiral of yelling, and insecurities followed by passionate reconciliations and loving gestures. We were stuck in this beautiful disaster and the harder the two of us held on the more scars we were coming out with. By the time we threw in the towel I was raw and vulnerable and I vowed to never again leave my heart at the mercy of someone else.

In order to mask the pain I threw myself into work and writing. Word of my work in smaller theaters had spread quickly and I ended up being offered an associate directing position on a real Broadway production. This was my big break, this was my chance to make a name for myself. After years of blood, sweat and tears and I do mean that literally, my play made its way onto one of the most renowned stages in the country.

It was opening night and I was so nervous I was sure that I was going to combust at any moment. People ran in every direction getting set up and ready for the first act and I couldn’t help but peek out at the audience, the house was damn near packed with people still coming in waves. My heart was in my throat as a mix of excitement and fear pulsed through my veins. Other than a few minor costume mishaps the show went off without a hitch. The heady rush that came after the final curtain was something out of a movie, the crowd thundered with applause as the cast and I made our way onto the stage for the signature bow. Tears came cascading from my eyes as I held hands with the leading lady and her male counterpart and in that moment I experienced true bliss, I was no longer weighed down by the heartache of Luka and the years of being a pawn in my parents' sick power struggle. I had made it, my life long dream had become a reality and I did it all on my own.

That confidence lasted a whole ten minutes because the moment I set foot in the large room they’d set up for the opening night party my eyes zeroed in on a very tall, very broodish looking man who was looking right at me. You guessed it folks, Luka Fitzpatrick live and in the flesh. He quickly and politely ended the conversation he was in and made a B-line for me. Every bone in my body screamed at me to make a run for it but my feet seemed to be cemented to the floor.

He stepped into my space and I could have passed out as the all too familiar scent of him wafted my direction, “Hi.” He said with his hands shoved in the pocket of his slacks and there I stood, for the third time utterly speechless. My heart was ricocheting between my throat and my stomach as my brain tried to make sense of the roller coaster of emotions I have experienced in the last few hours. The seconds were ticking by as he stood there waiting for me to speak, meanwhile I was in an emotional chokehold. The ghosts of our past whispered for me to stay away but the sense of comfort I found just being in his presence was starting to win the battle.

“Some things never change,” He chuckled.

Blame it on utter exhaustion and extreme stress but I immediately started laughing. I mean, stomach clenching, gasping for air, tears streaming from my eyes, laughing as I stood there in front of the only man to ever capture my heart and in turn the only man to ever rip it to shreds. Before I could get a word out he was laughing right along with me. We went on like this for what seemed like forever, long enough for people to notice. Still in a fit of laughter he gently grabbed my elbow and ushered me out of the room so we could compose ourselves.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, still regulating my oxygen intake.

He rubbed a hand down his torso, as if banishing his laughter, “I am one of the investors.” He said, a sudden seriousness overtaking his features.

“Did you know It was my production?”

He nodded.

“And you didn’t say anything?”

He nodded once again.

“Why?”

He let out a long sigh before responding, “I didn’t want you to turn it down. Besides I have seen your work, and after seeing this, I can see it was money well spent.”

Que the big final scene, where the boy and girl find their way back to one another with one powerful, show stopping, panty dropping, kiss. Someone once told me that you fall in love three times in your life. Your first love is that beginner's love, it’s all the things that you think love is supposed to be but you find yourself wondering if something is missing. It doesn’t take much to prompt a split and while it hurts. It heals fairly quickly. That second time around is your hard love, it’s love so powerful that you stick around through all the pain and heartache for those tiny glimpses of pleasure. It leaves you with deep wounds that take rehabilitation and time to heal but you come out stronger and more self aware than ever before. But that third time, as goldilocks would say, is just right. It comes at you when you least expect it too and it shows you what love truly is.

“I believe I fell in love three times in my life,” I paused looking out into the tear stained faces of our closest family and friends, “Each time was with Luka Fitzpatrick. He challenged me, he broke me, he rebuilt me and I would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant I got to experience that final love for just one more day.”

The tears I had been holding back finally tumbled out, one after another as if they were racing to be the first to fall. I stepped down and took my seat beside our son, Zander. He was tucked under my mom’s arm, she looked heartbroken and apologetic. It couldn’t have been easy hearing me lay out all of her shortcomings as a parent to an audience of people. The next to speak was Luka’s closest friend, Tom. I could feel myself dissociating as he started talking, the only sound making its way through was the small ‘hoot’ of a barn owl. I looked up to see it there, perched on the rafters in the small church. It sat there, looking at me for a long moment before spreading its wings and flying out the open window.

"Goodbye Luka.”