The Wild One

His daughter was letting her hair blow free. Blonde and wavy, it whipped in the wind like a storm-tossed sea.

And her sister was taunting her.

“It’s going to be soooo tangled!” Skyler teased.

“I don’t care,” Lisa replied. “I’ll brush it out tonight. It’s pretty and I like feeling the wind.”

“Whatever. Don’t cry to me when it’s one big mat.”

“I never said I was going to.”

“Hey,” Skyler said, her attention shifting whip-fast, “wanna count bullets?”

Bullets were one of the few things they had in good supply--but never enough of. “No. If we start now, we’ll be here for too long.” She looked to her father. “When are we going to go?”

“Hush,” Jack replied, peering through his binoculars at the way they had come.

He could barely make out the party tracking them, but small details made him nervous. They could simply be travelers, like Jack and his family, but that large a group usually had wagons. He strained to see their faces.

One of the men turned, sunlight striking the side of a face that was much darker than it should be.

Jack’s heart skipped a beat, but he was careful to keep emotion off his face. Ravagers didn’t believe in matrilineal clan tattoos; anyone who joined a band had their tattoo removed by burning or scarification. A mass of scar tissue on the face was never, ever good.

“Put a cap on, Lisa,” he told his daughter.

“Fine,” she pouted, but obeyed.

At least the sunlight would no longer be glinting off her golden hair. He turned and looked at the land ahead. The western terrain became rockier, the start of canyon country. The eastern trail passed through a town.

But though he could see buildings, he saw no smoke from chimneys and no people.

So, ghost town or canyons. Going into the canyons would cost them a day, maybe two. But the ravagers would expect them to make for the town.

He’d already traded most of their supplies, far from the Port where they would fetch more money. He had no time to sit and tally. He mentally catalogued their dwindling stores, deciding what they could do without.

He dismounted and began shuffling bags between the horses.

“Listen up,” he said as he worked. “There’s a big group of people behind us. We’re going to avoid them.”

Lisa’s eyes widened. “Are they ravagers?”

“No,” he lied. “But they’re a big group, and we’re small, so I don’t want to meet them. We’re going to go into the canyons, but we’re going to send Blitz into town so they follow him. If they get him and some supplies, they might not worry about finding us later.”

“But if we don’t have Blitz,” Lisa asked, “who’s Skyler going to ride?”

Jack forced himself to meet his daughter’s eyes and see the fear there. She wasn’t thinking straight. “You’ll double up on Fritz, and I’ll keep riding Mitts. It’s okay. Between both of you, you still weigh less than me.”

Once Blitz was loaded with some bulkier, non-essential supplies, Jack remounted.

“When we start running, they’re going to chase us--”

“That sounds like ravagers.”

“--so we’re going to ride as fast as we can toward the town, then turn off at the last minute,” he finished, ignoring his daughter’s interjection. “Up there, see where the terrain dips a little? Ride along there.” He deliberately kept his voice calm and his arm steady. “Ready? We can do this. Just follow me.”

He took one last look back, toward the ravagers. Then he kicked his horse into a gallop, holding the riderless Blitz by a rope and trusting Fritz to keep up with them.

Now he could hear sounds behind them, wild whoops from their pursuers. No gunshots yet, just terror. They would try to run them down first, to not risk shooting the horses. Jack’s hope was that they wanted goods more than slaves.

Sometimes they took slaves. Sometimes they tortured for fun...

Jack shook his head. He couldn’t think about the past now. He had to live in the moment, for himself and for what remained of his family.

They crested the hill, and he slowed to unclip Blitz’s lead. He yelled and whipped the horse to chase him away. Spooked from the wild flight, Blitz complied.

Jack and his family took off in the other direction.

Within moments they entered the maze of rocks, and they had to slow the horses. They could make do with two horses, but one would be a death sentence; they couldn’t afford a broken leg.

Jack watched carefully until he found a good place to shelter. They dismounted and hobbled the horses, then doubled back on foot to a rocky overhang. Anyone searching from above wouldn’t see them, as long as they stayed still and quiet. He buried the most important bag, the one containing their currency, a hundred meters away.

They might be captured, but they might escape. This journey was for naught if their currency was taken; they could never afford passage on the ship without it. Especially as Skyler might require certain...accomodations.

Living in the future was almost as bad as living in the past. Jack forced himself back into the present, then joined his tiny family under the overhang.

Skyler’s eyes were wild; he recognized the signs of impending disaster. Sound echoed within these rock walls; Lisa could be relied upon for silence, but Skyler was nearly beyond reason.

“Skyler.” He gripped her shoulders and shook her until he had her attention. “Skyler. Skyler, look at me.”

Her eyes cleared slightly and she focused on him.

“What’s going to happen to us?”

“Nothing. We’re going to camp here for a while, and then move on.”

“But the ravagers will get us! Where are the guns? Count the bullets, where are the bullets?”

“There’s no ravagers. Skyler, look at me. Deep breaths. There’s no ravagers.” All kids on this planet learned to shoot--for hunting and protection--as soon as they were old enough to hold a gun. But there was no way Skyler could be trusted with a gun right now. Or ever.

“Skyler, shhh. Deep breaths. Skyler, there’s no ravagers. Look at me. Look at me.”

He made her maintain eye contact, and slowly the furrows between her eyes relaxed. The tiger tattoo that climbed her face from neck to temple, her clan marking, smoothed to normalcy. He watched her face, identical to Lisa’s but so different. Some people couldn’t tell, but he never had any doubt which girl he was talking to.

“Okay?” She nodded mutely. “Okay, good. Come here.” He settled back to find what comfort he could against the rocks, and wrapped both arms around slender shoulders. “We should get some rest. We’ll get moving in a while.”

“Okay, dad,” said Skyler, and Lisa nodded.

~~~~~~~

After that it was a waiting game. The girls dozed, but Jack stayed alert, straining his ears for stray sounds echoing through the canyons. Timing was tricky. If they left too soon, they might run into the ravager party. If they stayed too long, the ravagers might search them out.

Not for the first time, he cursed the Federacy that dropped settlers on wild planets and then left them to their own devices, to live or die by their own wit and will. The lack of planetary oversight made conditions ripe for the ravagers to exist: men who stared into the edge of frontier and found the edge staring back at them, devoid of humanity.

And they were getting worse. It used to be only lone homesteads that were vulnerable. But the years turned, the ranks of the lawless swelled, and now villages and towns were being attacked.

Only the more populated area near the Port was safe now. And yet Federacy ships still arrived, bringing new colonists who were excited to strike out on their own and live with the land far from civilization.

That type of lifestyle had appealed to Jack’s great-grandparents. He had grown up in it, and it no longer appealed to him. He had no idea what awaited him on other planets, but he was leaving this one behind.

If they could make it to the Port, and the ship.

~~~~~~~

Some hours later he rose stiffly and stretched. He retrieved their currency, then gathered the horses and shuffled their belongings.

“We’re going to ride through the canyons,” he told the girls. “It’s going to take us a little longer, so we’re going to have smaller meals for a while. But if my GPS is right, we should be able to make town and get more supplies within about two days.”

The trust in their eyes was painful. He wished he trusted himself just as much.

They did indeed make town two and a half days later. Because they were less than a week from Port, Jack sold most of their supplies, keeping only the necessities and then buying seven days worth of food.

He also made contact with another group of travelers; there was safety in numbers.

The leader of the caravan had a face as weathered and craggy as the rocks they had just journeyed through. Jack had trouble even making out his clan tattoo amongst the peaks and valleys. He cast a critical eye over their group.

“You have a pretty small family,” he observed.

“It used to be larger.” Jack ignored the pang in his heart. “Ravagers,” he said simply. It was a convenient excuse. “No man should have to watch his children die.”

The leader spat onto the dusty ground. “Ain’t that the truth. That’s why you’re leaving this rock?”

“Part of the reason.” He tipped his head and dropped his voice. “My daughter’s got health issues. She needs a specialist that doesn’t exist on this planet.” He couldn’t blame his town’s frontier medic, who was used to treating minor infections and broken bones. A broken mind lay completely beyond his purview.

The leader was skeptical. “She looks healthy enough to me.”

“She can ride just fine. She won’t hold us back, if that’s what you’re getting at. She can pull her weight, and so can I. Once we reach Sunfall, we’ll make our own way to Port.”

The old man nodded. “Fine. You’re in.” Perhaps realizing what sort of malady could leave one physically normal, he added, “So, is she going to be healthy enough to get on the ship?”

“Of course,” Jack replied, feigning confidence.

~~~~~~~

The caravan made good time. Towns grew closer, and they stopped often. Someone in the caravan was always looking to unload goods; the balancing game lay in having just enough for your people to reach Port. The Federacy ships brought supplies, so used goods were worth next to nothing in trade in Port. But run of supplies out too soon, and you had to rely on the kindness of strangers.

Sometimes that was enough. Often, it wasn’t.

Both Lisa and Skyler were perfectly obedient. Mostly they kept to themselves, but they were good about helping and did not shirk their duties. Their tiger marking attracted a fair amount of attention; Jack’s wife’s clan hadn’t been large, and no tiger had ever set foot on this planet, but both girls answered questions quietly and with dignity.

It gave Jack hope.

One other member of the group shared Jack’s clan tattoo, raindrops that ran down the left side of the face. He was from some offshoot two generations ago, but it was always good to meet someone with whom you shared a common ancestor.

Though the girls were good, Jack was plagued with nightmares each night. He would wake in a cold sweat, unable to move for fear of disturbing the girls. Memories echoed in his mind. He and his wife, tied together, forced to watch while their sons were hung from the ceiling. Forced to watch while the ravagers tormented the boys, still alive, with knives and picks and other implements for which he had no names.

He’d shamefully closed his eyes at one point, but their screams would always ring in his ears.

And then, when the boys succumbed, the ravagers simply left.

And Jack and his wife were left tied but alive. It had been a new type of torture, unable to move, calling for help while their sons watched them with sightless eyes from overhead.

The ravagers had never found where Lisa was hiding...or Skyler.

They had watched the whole thing too.

It was a miracle that neither girl was prone to nightmares. Not while sleeping.

There was a medic in the caravan who could have given Jack sleeping pills, and he was sorely tempted. But he had to sleep lightly in case one of the girls needed him.

That was what he told himself. But he could not dishonor the memory of his sons by denying himself the nightmares.

He knew this. But he kept to himself, unable to speak of it to any of the strangers in the caravan. And especially unable to speak to the two in the caravan who shared his own tent.

Day by day, they closed on their destination.

~~~~~~~

Once they reached Sunfall, Jack negotiated the sale of all their remaining supplies, including the two horses and the GPS. Port lay twenty-two kilometers ahead of them--a hard day’s walk, but they would arrive the following evening. The traders at Port grew rich from cheating buyers and sellers alike. Sunfall was a popular stop for those setting out from Port, their first night in the frontier. Such travelers realized the things that they did not know they needed. He was able to get a good price.

He concluded his dealings outside a general store, while Lisa looked at the trinkets on display in the window.

A glass butterfly caught her eye. Its half open wings looked on the verge of fluttering away, and the black and orange colors echoed the tattoo on her face. She ran her fingers over the window glass.

“You’re sad,” Skyler observed.

“Mom would have liked this,” Lisa replied.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

With uncharacteristic vehemence, Lisa noted, “You’re the reason she’s gone, you know.”

“What? No.”

“Yes. You just don’t remember.”

“You’re lying!”

“No. You can’t remember, can you? You can’t remember waking up and seeing the shadows on the wall and grabbing the gun--”

“Stop it!”

“No, I won’t! You can’t even remember why she’s gone. You can’t even remember that you killed her!”

“Stop it!”

“She wasn’t even your real mom.”

“No! Stop it! She was so!”

“She wasn't! You just came along and latched onto her.”

“Stop it! You’re lying! Stop it, stop it, stop it!”

Jack saw the rising tension in his daughter and reached her just as she lashed out, wildly swinging her clawed hands as a raw scream tore through her throat. He was able to grab her and pin her arms to her side as she gnashed her teeth and kicked, unseeing eyes wild, aiming indiscriminately at anything within reach.

“Mister, is your girl okay?” The shopkeeper stood in the doorway.

“It’s okay,” he said through gritted teeth as he wrestled her to the ground. “She has fits, is all.”

She was getting bigger, the top of her head past his shoulders now, and she was strong. He wouldn’t be able to do this for much longer.

He held her pinned as she thrashed, whispering calm words into an ear that could not hear him, trying to reach a mind beyond all rational thought. Her objections weakened as she tired herself until, eventually, she lay exhausted in his grasp. Only then did he loosen his grip and stroke her long hair.

“You know,” the shopkeeper observed, “they won’t let her on the ship if she’s a danger to others.”

“I know,” Jack replied.

~~~~~~~

He rented a room that night. Tonight and tomorrow night he would have to part with precious currency to keep a roof over their heads. He knew there was a ship in Port scheduled to leave in three days. Medical checks and processing took a full day; they would cut it close, but should be able to make it. As he had intended.

Skyler was slow to wake the next morning; she wasn’t the morning person her sister was. She got up, dressed, and ate as usual. No one said anything about her fit. Jack wondered if she even remembered it, but he wasn’t about to ask.

They did have a long walk that day but, thanks to the frontier lifestyle, were fit and hardy. They arrived in Port as the sinking sun set the sky ablaze. Silhouetted against the clouds, dominating the skyscape, the giant ship reached to the heavens.

Port was the only city on the planet that could properly be called a city; hundreds of people lived here and hundreds more passed through each day. Not everyone here had a clan tattoo; looking around, Jack estimated only half the people kept to the old tradition. He found an inn called The Rainy River and took it for a good omen. He rented the smallest room he could, and did a good job not wincing when he heard the cost.

He tried to feign nonchalance that night also as he tucked Skyler in, but the hug he gave her was a little tighter and a little longer than normal. He stroked her hair, feeling the weight in his heart as her eyes drifted closed.

“Sleep tight, sweet Skyler,” he said, keeping his voice nearly steady. “Sleep long and sweet dreams. I love you.”

“Love you too, Daddy,” she murmured sleepily.

~~~~~~~

He woke Lisa early the next morning, quietly serving breakfast and making ready to leave. They wore everything they owned except for their one bag, the bag whose precious contents would buy them passage.

She was always cheerful in the mornings, his sunshine, his bright girl.

Just before they left, he sat down and looked Lisa in the eyes.

“I know Skyler isn’t awake yet,” he said. “This is hard to say, but I need you to listen. Skyler can’t go on the ship with us. She needs to stay asleep.”

Lisa’s eyebrows crinkled with concern. “We’re going to leave Skyler here?”

“She needs to sleep now,” he repeated. “We’re going to get her help, but she needs to stay asleep. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Her lip trembled and he worried for a brief moment about an outburst, then she nodded.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good girl. Let’s go then. Quickly, and quietly.”

And they left the room, and all the memories within it, behind.

~~~~~~~

Passage was booked and paid but not final until they passed the screening. No one with communicable disease, genetic disorders, criminal history, or dangerous tendencies was allowed in the passenger section.

Their assigned officer believed without question the fact that the rest of the family had been killed by ravagers. He might be a Federacy employee, but he lived on the planet, and he knew the stories.

They were waiting in their assigned area within the lounge, having traded their planetbound clothing for shipsuits, when the medical examiner found them.

“You’re Lisa’s father, correct?” she asked.

He nodded.

The examiner pulled him aside and lowered her voice. “Lisa’s scans showed some unusual cortical activity.”

He sighed. He had known, had feared, this was coming.

“She has dissociative identity disorder,” he said quietly. “There are two personalities inside her: quiet Lisa and rambunctious Skyler. Our town medic also believed she has hallucinations--the two personalities can see, hear, and interact with each other. They call each other sister.”

“I see. And has she always been like this?”

“No. She watched--” he swallowed. “She watched ravagers torture her brothers. The two personalities split after that.”

“Hers is an unusual situation. Based on her scans, I can’t say definitively that she does not pose a danger to herself or others. I can’t clear her for travel.”

He could see Lisa out of the corner of his eye, watching them curiously but unable to hear the conversation. Sweet. Trusting.

“I’ll purchase stasis accommodation,” he said, not willing to show desperation. “One chamber. She can sleep the whole way. She won’t be any danger to anyone if she’s in stasis.”

“You realize how much stasis costs, don’t you? It’s going to eat up all your remaining credit.”

“I don’t care. I need to get her somewhere else. Somewhere they can help her. Please.”

He was so tired of being strong, tired of denying his emotions.

“Stasis space is limited.”

“Please,” he repeated. “I can’t lose her. She’s all I have left.”

The medical examiner sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

~~~~~~~

Strapped into the acceleration chair within his tiny berth, Jack listened to the ship’s engines power up.

He remembered the last sight of his daughter, a slight smile playing on her lips, her face clouded through the stasis window. She was growing into a beautiful young woman. Men would start to notice, very soon. Her tiger tattoo would make her exotic, an accompaniment rather than a mar to her beauty.

Not many of the ship’s crew had clan tattoos. The old ways were dying on other planets. On this planet as well. Jack had given the choice to each of his children to be tattooed. One by one, they had chosen tradition, to be marked with their mother’s symbol.

They were moving so far away from tradition now. Alone together, they would move among a new world. Jack desperately hoped Lisa could do so with her mind intact.

Despite what Skyler had done, he couldn’t hate her. Skyler was not Lisa, but neither was Lisa herself anymore. They were two sides of the coin, the bright and the dark, the two halves of the sundered whole. Jack missed the girl his daughter had been--bright, funny, quiet, impulsive--and hoped he would speak to that girl again some day. In the meantime, he couldn’t help but love the pieces--both pieces--of what she was.

He had told her that he had purchased a special ticket for her so that she did not need to suffer the tedium of the space voyage. She would simply go to sleep, and when she woke up, they would be at their destination. It was a special way to travel, he said, and only the most special passengers got to do it.

She had gone willingly, excitedly, into the stasis chamber, and he had stayed with her until she no longer had any awareness of anything at all.

Now, for a little while, he didn’t have to pretend. No one was watching him. For a little while, he didn’t have to be strong.

The tears ran down his face, washing his cheeks like the raindrops tattooed there, as the ship lifted them into the future.