The Weight of It

“I want to leave.”

The words barely left her lips; a whisper dancing across cherry red lips only to fall into silence. Just as suddenly as the words escaped, her face changed as a puppet possessed.

A wide smile stretched across Yeong’s lips, her dimples puncturing her cheeks. She shook her head, running her hand through her dark black hair.

“Gosh, I don’t know why I said that,” Yeong said cheerfully. “I’m happy. I know you’re happy too.”

Dead eyes stared back at her, unblinking. A milky film stretched firmly across their eyes, but not firmly enough to cover the hard look of hatred.

Yeong stared back at them, her smile faltered and reality threatened to come crashing down on her like a weight.

So many people dead.

"Of course I'm happy, Yeong," a voice said, drawing her attention back to the world around her.

She was safe in quarantine. It was almost as if the horror of the past three years hadn't happened. She just had to focus on those who were living. Focus on Hyung-Tae, she told herself as she tilted her head up to him.

Hyung-Tae met her gaze, a soft smile playing on his lips.

"We're here together, aren't we?"

Hyung-Tae stood a head taller than Yeong, with broad shoulders and a slim build. His jutting jawline and chiseled features would have made him intimidating if it weren't for his gentle smile and kind eyes.

"Mmm," Yeong said, nodding. "Together."

He gently grasped her hand in his and squeezed it.

"Come on then," he said, pulling her forward. "We can't be late for class again."

She glanced at her watch. The pink band circled her tiny wrist. The rose gold face was frozen at 12:05, a mocking reminder that she was always late.

Yeong let herself be pulled down the wide hallway, the sound of her shoes clicking on the cement floor as she strode forward. Their footsteps seemed to break the heaviness of the hallway, a building made for crowds now nearly empty.

It would have been strange a few years ago to be hurrying down the halls of an empty stadium. Instead, there would be wall-to-wall people and the buzzing roar of talk and laughter. The smell of food would waft in the air as vendors charged a small fortune for their delicacies. Spicy chicken wings had always been her favorite, but at this point, she'd settle for Jokbal if it meant the world was normal again.

Hyung-Tae pushed the door open to what had once been a small meeting room that had been flipped to a classroom. Five other students already sat in their seats, notebooks opened and pens ready for notes.

The girl closest to the door looked between Yeong and Hyung-Tae and narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, Yeong, you're last again. How many times has it been this week?"

Irritation coiled up Yeong’s spine, but she didn't take the bait and instead slid down into her seat without a word.

"Now that you've all arrived," Teacher Park said, lifting his shrewd gaze from his desk, "We will begin. Soon May, since you seem talkative, why don't you start our refresher?"

The girl by the door pouted her lips but stood up. "Yes, teacher."

Soon May could have easily been the prettiest girl in quarantine if it weren't for her attitude that soured every expression she made. Long brown hair cascaded down her back and her deep blue eyes were set in an almond shape. Soon May loved to take the opportunity to remind people that she used to model in France, “being French-Korean and all.”

"What happens to human cells when they're touched by the sickness?"

"They begin to atrophy and rot," she answered, sounding bored.

He nodded at Soon May and she plopped back into her chair.

"And Kim Hyung-Tae, what happens to a person when their cells begin to decay?"

Hyung-Tae stood up. Unlike Soon May, he seemed fascinated by the topic.

"Normally it would mean a person would die or lose a portion of their body with the dead cells," he said thoughtfully. "The sickness is different though. The cells are constantly being killed and reborn as something different, changing the person."

Teacher Park frowned at the last part of Hyung-Tae's answer.

"Changing the person?" he shook his head. "No, you had it right at first. When cells die the person dies. What's left is not human."

"Yes sir," Hyung-Tae said, lowering his head.

Teacher Park nodded at Hyung-Tae to take his seat before continuing.

"As we discussed there is no cure for the sickness yet, but that is why we keep learning. Li Yeong, tell me what happened after the first wave of vaccinations?"

Yeong stood up, smoothing her skirt. "The first wave of vaccinations caused cells to multiply at a rapid rate. The extra cells created blockages in arteries and ultimately killed people faster than the sickness," she said.

"And what percentage of people died from the vaccine?"

Yeong flinched at the question.

He posed it as if he weren't talking about actual people. Those who died were humans, not numbers.

She could see their dead eyes again, watching her, judging her for being alive.

"99%, " Yeong whispered.

"Use your voice, Li Yeong. What percentage?"

"99% of people who took the vaccine died, sir," she said finally.

"Correct," he said, nodding for her to take a seat. "That is why what we do here is so important. You five will be the top biochemists in this region. You’ll be the best not only because you're the brightest but because you have to be if we want our population to survive."

Teacher Park was right. They needed to discover a cure if they were going to survive. In the three years since the sickness emerged the world population went down from over 7 billion to an estimated 3 million people still alive. Those numbers didn’t account for the people currently suffering from the sickness who hadn’t passed away yet.

They would pass away though. The sickness raged in the infected bodies. It started with nausea and jaundice and spread to vital organs before a positive test could be returned. In some regions, the sickness was called the zombie plague because the skin of those infected would shift from yellow to ashen in a few short days. The infected would shuffle and groan about aching joints and sharp pains, but never hunger for brains or kill. Rather, the ashen skin was a sign that they were about to die themselves.

A sharp rap on the door pulled the class’s attention from Teacher Park. Yeong shifted nervously and tugged down on her skirt to cover the goosebumps spreading across her legs.

“Poor Yeong, scared you’re going to get it? You do look like you have a weak immune system,” Soon May whispered, leaning forward in her seat. She smiled sweetly, but her eyes were like poison.

The wheels of the gurneys creaked as orderlies wheeled in five frozen subjects. Teacher Park waited for the orderlies to exit before turning back to the class. “You may go to your workstations, class. Today we have a new compound that disease control suggested may show positive results. Your job is to formulate it in a way that neutralizes the cells in the subjects.”

Yeong looked around. Her classmates were up and moving as if this was the most normal thing in the world. They were smiling and laughing even. It was just another reminder she needed to pull herself together. She plastered a bright smile on her face and began her work.

Once Yeong began measuring and mixing, she was engrossed, forgetting her terror and the time that ticked on with no clock to measure it. It was only the giggle of Soon May that broke her concentration on her work

Soon May leaned across the metal gurney her subject was on, posing. She pulled her hand up to her cheek in a cutesy expression and held her phone up above her. The screen was dark, having lost power years ago.

“Click,” she said in a falsely high voice. Then she giggled more as she saw that everyone was watching her. “Instagram!”

It was a dumb joke considering that all social media had abruptly ended years ago, another casualty of the sickness.

Yeong sighed and began to clean her workstation. She was bone tired, physically and emotionally.

When she finished, she made her way over to Hyung-Tae. He stared hard at something in his hand.

“Hyung-Tae?”

At her words, he quickly shoved the object into his pocket and smiled.

“Are you ready?” he asked, putting his hand on the small of her back and guiding her out of the room before waiting for her answer.

Hyung-Tae walked more stiffly than usual, his eyes far away. Yeong glanced at him briefly and back down to her feet. While they had gotten close over the years, she still hesitated to press him when he got into moods like this.

They stopped as the hallway intersected in front of them. To the right was the girl’s section and to the left, the boy’s. She tilted her head up to tell him goodnight and froze.

Hyung-Tae’s eyes were red-rimmed and his long lashes were wet with silent tears.

“Hyung-Tae,” she whispered, reaching her hand up to his cheek.

He shook his head and stepped back. Solemnly he pulled something from his pocket and held it out. It was a small heart-shaped locket. The silver looked dirty and faded in his hands. He cupped the necklace as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

“It-it was on my subject,” he whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“Did you know her?” Yeong asked, suddenly horrified.

She had never seen him that shaken and her mind suddenly jumped to the worst conclusions. The thought of pulling back the sheet of a subject to see a familiar face made her stomach roll.

“She was my mother,” he said.

Yeong’s eyes widened in horror.

“She was also my sister,” he continued. “She was you with your watch that doesn’t work. She was Soon May with her phone that’s dead. She was every person that holds onto pieces of our old lives even though they're long gone.”

He looked so desperately sad then, that Yeong could feel warm tears of her own spill down her cheeks. Hyung-Tae always acted so strong, but he saw the infected the way she did--as people.

Her lips trembled as she tried to think of something to say to make him feel better. Nothing came to mind though, so she stepped closer to him, pressing herself against his chest. They stood in silence letting the emotions wash over them.

“Yeong?” he said, finally breaking the silence.

She looked up at him expectantly.

“You said earlier that you wanted to leave. I do, too. But we need to keep fighting so we can help more people like her.”

He gently lifted her hands so they were cupped and set the locket into them. The metal was still cold from earlier and heavy in her hands. It was almost as if the locket was weighted with the responsibility they held.

Her hands shook as she stared down at it through blurred eyes.

He put his hands under Yeong’s, his large hands steadying her tiny shaking ones.

“We’ll carry this together, Yeong.”