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The Security Of Home

What Happens At Home, Stays At Home

By Kelli Sheckler-AmsdenPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 3 min read
Top Story - February 2023
46
The Security Of Home
Photo by Bruce Warrington on Unsplash

*

Imagine if your walls could talk. Would they have your back?

*

"Welcome, welcome, come on in." The sound of shuffling and whispers commence as the room comes to order.

"Okay everybody, listen up, we have a very short amount of time and a lot of information to cover. Sharon has run to the store, so we may have 30 minutes, tops."

The clock ticks louder than normal, "yes, grandfather, we can hear you...time is your specialty, I know, I know, I'm sorry."

"Okay, to any of you that are new to these meetings, I am the kitchen table, you can call me Tab. We try our best to have these meetings frequently, to keep the events that take place on a daily, clear and under wraps. It is our duty to be sure Sharon's dirty laundry is not aired, no offence, laundry room."

A gruff voice from the back, "No offence taken, Tab" Laundry room exclaims.

"Now, I know Sharon has had company for the past few days, he is NOT, I repeat, not going to be a permanent fixture. Conversations over me last night, were- grim. But I believe the patio has a better perspective; would you care to elaborate Pat? Patio, are you here?"

Hesitantly, the patio clears his throat. "I have to say, this guy is a total profligate, utterly and shamelessly immoral. If I could have, I would have knocked his ass out, I mean, what is Sharon thinking?" The whole room erupts in applause.

The kitchen table quickly tries to deescalate the mood.

"Alright, we can all agree that this guy needs to go. What do you have to say, Sid? (bedside table) Anything to report?

Sid replies by playing a song through Apple music:

"You know that's right," shouted the jet tub. "Ain't no cleaner strong enough to clean up that mess, I'm just sayin', I have never felt so dirty."

The mirror chimed in, "I cannot unsee that, EVER, even with the lights off."

As Tab attempts to get everyone calmed down, the basement door opens. To the entire houses' surprise, Nick, the house guest, appears. With his hand still on the enamel doorknob, he steps slowly, mouth opened into the living room, where the meeting is taking place. From the bottom of the steps, the storage cubby yells up, "I'm sorry, I tried to warn you he was still here. He heard everything through the open vents."

The vents quickly snap shut, "Oh crap, I am so sorry."

The sofa shouts out in frustration, "You had one job, venny, one job!"

Tab knows he only has a moment to react, and it HAS to be faster than Nick's. He barks out the commands like a weathered commander.

"Door, lock. Shades, down. Lazy-boy, you know what to do." Before Nick could release the knob on the basement door, he was scooped up and battened down with the sherpa blanket. His mouth was secured with a tooth whitening mouthpiece. "If you play this right Nick, Tab said, all that will happen to you is your teeth will be whiter."

Nick could only mumble as he cried.

The TV began to play:

After the music finished, Tab slid over to the Lazy-boy and asked, "If we remove the white strips, do you promise not to make a sound?"

Nick nodded his head, yes. Tab instructed the vacuum to remove the whitener from Nick's mouth, whose teeth were absolutely beautiful.

Tab continued, "so, we have come to an understanding that what has transpired here today, in this living room, does not become common knowledge outside these walls, and Sharon will never hear from you again?"

Again, Nick nodded like a bobble-head.

"It would, however, be polite of you to send flowers, wishing her well, and apologizing for being a pig of a man, do you understand me?" Tab asked.

As Nick made his vow of silence, the garage door sounded the alarm, "Sharon is pulling in, time for the guest to go."

The lazy boy transferred Nick to the chaise recliner on the patio, who wheeled him around the house to his car, just as the garage closed, with Sharon safely inside.

The chaise made it clear to Nick, that they knew where he lived, and they weren't opposed to making a house call.

Nick peeled out of the driveway.

Sharon put the groceries down on the table as she watched out the window.

"What a putz," she mumbled.

Taking a seat at the table, she sighed. "You guys don't know good you have it." She ran her hands over the smooth top of the table. "Dating sucks"

The chair took the opportunity to give her a slight hug. She patted the arm of the chair as she grabbed the bag of groceries and headed towards the kitchen and said. "It is so good to be home."

The TV began to blast a welcome, and the entire house felt warmer and cozier.

Short Story
46

About the Creator

Kelli Sheckler-Amsden

Telling stories my heart needs to tell <3 life is a journey, not a competition

If you like what you read, feel free to leave a tip, I would love some feedback

Find me on twitter @kelli7958958

or facebook

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (33)

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  • Lilly Cooperabout a year ago

    Different :) I enjoyed the humour

  • Annelise Lords about a year ago

    Interesting.

  • Donna Fox (HKB)about a year ago

    Such a fun idea that everything in the house could talk! Well written and truly captivating!

  • Maniabout a year ago

    https://vocal.media/01/tips-for-becoming-a-bold-speaker

  • Chua Yuan Hengabout a year ago

    If objects talk, it's hearing voice. Schizophrenia is the disease.

  • Lamar Wigginsabout a year ago

    lol, I would luv to live at that house. Congrats!

  • Robbie Cheadleabout a year ago

    This is such a fun story. I really enjoyed it.

  • Clever and fun, luv'd it!!

  • J. S. Wadeabout a year ago

    Love this Kelli. Outstanding creativity. 🥰. Top story stuff here for sure. 🏆

  • Claudiu Mariusabout a year ago

    This story is an absolute gem! The touch of humor with the teeth whitening scene had me in stitches, it's such a unique and creative twist. The pacing was just right, keeping me engaged and invested in the story from start to finish. Your writing style is truly one of a kind, I couldn't get enough. Kudos to you for crafting such an entertaining and memorable story, it's a delight to read. Keep up the amazing work!

  • Allie Bickertonabout a year ago

    A heartwarming story of inanimate objects coming to life. Reminds me of a cartoon I watched as a kid. Well done. Congrats! Love the ending!

  • Cathy Deslippeabout a year ago

    I enjoyed your story. Thank you

  • Dana Stewartabout a year ago

    This story is fabulous! The teeth whitening bit is hilarious! A very creative take, i really loved the pace, too.

  • 🙏🕺💯🎉🎉💞😉💯🎯Awesome❗❗❗❗

  • Caroline Janeabout a year ago

    Aww. I am smiling a lot reading this. Adorable. ❤

  • Emily Marie Concannonabout a year ago

    Omg Keli this was so cute and so fun!! Loved it so much! I always loved stories with inanimate objects as the main characters!

  • Stéphane Dreyfusabout a year ago

    Great fun!

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    Congrats on the top story.

  • KJ Aartilaabout a year ago

    A very entertaining story - well done! :)

  • JBazabout a year ago

    First off, congratulations. Secondly….laughed so hard, this is so good, I love the take you did. The mirror and hot tub comments….lol

  • Heather Hublerabout a year ago

    That was so clever and cute! I loved how he got a teeth whitening...hahaha! Great work and congratulations on your Top Story!!

  • Excellent work and congratulations on your Top STory

  • Alina Zabout a year ago

    The ending sent waves of coziness and warmth beyond the screen! What a nice read before a workday's end :) On a quick note, I wonder if your story will qualify for the challenge since it's mentioned 'Use the phrase "if walls could talk" as the story's opening line'? Just to be sure, you might want to add it.

  • Stephen Kramer Avitabileabout a year ago

    This was really funny! I love the idea of every single one of the pieces of furniture all being alive, having their own personality, and they all worked so well together! Great teamwork! Great story!

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