The Scales

There weren’t always dragons in the valley…

But when they do appear sometimes the sky seems to talk. Amongst the moments of lost time when your dreams are heavy like the wide universe above, and the songs of the birds sing that humble tune that is when the sky can become like a voice.

I know that within my life when it stops in stillness, occasionally my journey becomes unmoving in a moment in time and I hear the voice of the sky and nature. I feel guided, my questions stop and my mind finally becomes clear... But not for long.

Fledgling is the stage in a flying animal's life between hatching or birth and becoming capable of flight. We all think that we have the capabilities to soar when we are ready, to completely dive into the unknown blindly, with swift bravery. When and how we land is the biggest test of all. With all the leaps and bounds in life. We take many unconventional dives blindly into the open universe. Every jump has a different rhythm, a different kind of meaning.

I dropped her off with love and trust. I allowed her small hand to slip from mine and that is when my true voyage began... and I new that at the end of it all many powerful elegantly golden scaled dragons. Would lead the way…

From that moment on I walked by the light of the moon. And as I drifted across the land the branches sometimes hit me with reawakening heartbreak and determination. The destination I did not anticipate was waiting for me, in a valley that stretched wide and far. I curled under a cave and rocks, hidden behind a star struck sky.

As the coldness and dampness of the cave engulfed my weary soul many moons had passed. I would crawl out of the cave on many lonely nights and the wide brilliance of the stars became my medicine. My body taught myself how to survive off of the land. Night after night I sat and meditated. I called out to the great spirit to enlighten me and give me a sign of hope and strength.

After a certain stretch of time I was beckoned. Asked to go back to the place that could connect her and I again. The place where I said goodbye.

I passed through expansion of land until I found the village. The wind yelled across the plains loud and violent, already denying my visitation. When I came to the hut a woman with long grey hair stood in the entry way blocking my steps forward. Saying a simple no with her silent glare. I stood transfixed, not willing to believe the fact another human being would stop me from seeing my own child. The woman was of great importance in the village. I had to respect her wishes.

Behind the elderly woman I could see my darling little one. Her layered brown hair was pulled into a long braid that laid flat against the back of a simple dress made of deer skin. I could see the perfectness of her little fingers play with a small doll that lay on the floor and hear a soft sweet hum that she was expressing over and over. She must have felt my presence because before I new it she was turning her head slightly trying to look behind her.

I turned around and ran as fast as my feet could run. The same arms that usually stretched out far and wide to knock random branches out of my way where now tucked hard in the shape of a cross against my chest. To almost build a wall of protection for a broken beating heart that I was afraid would fall out of a hollow cage. I continued to run until I found home. For days I wept outside of the protectiveness of my cage under the moonlight.

After my second departure from my child I become so fragmented, my pieces splintered into dark and contrasting colors inside of me. I decided to look inward for the answers. I meditated for days. In those moments of still my soul summoned all the greats until one night I had a important vision in my slumber.

I was observing my own sleep. I watched my body lay still and relaxed on top of earth outside of the cave. I was emerged in the world beneath and all around me. I could see never ending comets dashing vivid white strips across the universe. I was here nor there and had become everything.

I closed my eyes and stretched out one arm and all of a sudden I felt the sharpness of claws and opened my eyes.

Perched on me was a lovely bird with almond black eyes and white feathers that glistened like the snow. The creature slowly moved its head around. When it moved its head from left to right and up and down every time it looked into my eyes time shifted and moved almost in slow motion. Before I new what was happening my arm got heavy and dropped. This phenomenal Barn Owl that had become perched upon my arm turned to dust and as shimmering particles disappeared a human began to emerge. Pulling my arm out from beneath this creature I watched her slowly rise….