The Route

Anna awoke to the delicious Smell of Hyacinth . This is the most beautiful smell in the world, the young woman thought to herself, as she began to slowly open her eyes.

She was well rested and relaxed, I must have slept through the entire night, she noted as she looked around the light filled room, still trying to find the whereabouts of the flowers. She rarely felt so carefree and calm, those zen books are finally paying off- just look at me, I am slowing down to smell the flowers and enjoying the metaphorical ride - she felt chuffed and smiled . A warm happy sensation was spreading over her - she felt so shiny and new, as if a new life system upgrade has just been installed within her. With this new found bout of energy , she leaped out of the bed and prepared to conquer the day ahead.

"From here onwards I am going to .. " suddenly, her voice was abruptly cut off. For a brief moment she felt it - the rumbling of the engines around her, the shaking in the room, the unnaturally gleaming lights that shone around her, the synthetic smell of burning in the air. What is happening? She was frantically trying to make sense of the situation.

The strangely familiar feeling of powerlessness was beginning to creep in. It took a couple more long unbearable moments before it finally dawned on her - she couldn't remember anything that preceded her being here and most importantly where "here" was. She was standing in a middle of a train cabin. By the movement of the chandelier at the centre of the room- the speed of the train was increasing with every passing second. She felt a chilling fear, which was made even worse by the fact that every time that she tried thinking about it- every inch of her mind was fighting against it.

Anna, just breath .

"First thing first, I need to find out where I am" - Anna has managed to regain control over her shaking voice chords. She took a deep breath in and was equally surprised and delighted to discover that the burning plastic smell has disappeared and has been replaced by the faint smell of the flowers.

"Well - its not all bad" She smiled to herself and continued: “Being taken by someone or something that was considerate enough to first discover my favourite flowers and then bring them here - may actually be a solid foundation for a grand romance. Charles didn’t even show this type of dedication during our better times.” Anna's voice became quieter. Thinking about him made her sad, not thinking about him- made her even sadder.

Thousands of times she repeated that she was done, yet every time he reached out- she answered and after each visit she felt a little bit more broken."Every time I chose to ride the train of despair called Charles on the looped route of horrors. I wish I could just drive that train off the tracks" Anna exclaimed.

She couldn't stand being left alone with those thoughts any longer- she needed a distraction. Anything outside of these walls must be better than this, she thought.

She bravely opened the door and proceeded to exit the room. The corridor was long and windowless. Suddenly, it felt like the day has already been conquered by night and slowly the darkness was engulfing the corridor together with her entire being. With the last remaining grains of light , Anna began frantically searching for the door handle. As soon as she managed to reach it - Anna pushed the door forward and fell through into the room.

She sat down on the beautiful double bed again , leaned against the pristine white wall and enjoyed the warm and reassuring nature of this room. She began to breath deeply and as she was hoping - she felt once again intoxicated by the smell of Hyacinth and slowly began to drift-off.

Just before her mind has switched off once again , she did think to herself that as far as poisons go - Hyacinth is a beautifully delicious choice indeed.

Like Many Anna's before her and after her- she was only a couple of feet away from the control room of the train. If she only managed to get there, she might have changed the course of her train. She would have also been able to look through the large window panel at the front of the train and spot the thousands of identical trains that all were moving in adjacent loops nearby. Some of them would have had other tiny Anna's staring out from the control room. She would have felt less alone. After all , just like them- she was just another one of intrusive thought in Anna's never ending anxiety arsenal of trains of thought.

THE Anna could never stop them from emerging permanently , yet with a few deep breaths - she could quieten them for a little bit and just for a brief moment escape the loop of her own making and start moving somewhere new.