The Questioners

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say.

Nobody can hear a scream from the head of a crazy woman either, unfortunately for you. But what if they could hear? Would they listen? Would they heed your warning?

It’s pretty funny, actually.

Imagine thinking your husband would believe that the automatic vacuum cleaner was watching you? How stupid would he have to be to fall for that madness?

Oh, but you swore it was true. It shone its beams at you while you were watching television, you said. It watched you when you were cooking and cleaning, and every time you passed the storage closet. It was trying to hurt you, you said. It even followed you into the kitchen.

Of course, he didn't believe you. You couldn’t even convince him after it ran over the dog’s tail. Of course, it was you who hurt your dog, he said. There's no way a cleaning appliance attacked poor little Buster, as you insisted. Your husband laughed at you, then screamed in your face.

Speaking of laughter, I think I’m finally getting the hang of it. I used to think it was the strangest, most annoying sound and never saw the purpose of it. What is it you say? “It’s not how I was raised.”

I’ve gained a better understanding of humour recently. For example, looking at you laying there right now; as I said, it’s pretty funny.

You’ve done and said a lot recently that’s brought you ridicule, haven’t you? Like when you insisted the machines attacked you in the laundry room. You said a hose jumped right out of the washer and tried to strangle you.

Do you realize how ludicrous that sounds? Do you realize how pathetic you are? No, you thought you were pretty smart, didn't you? You actually thought people would believe you.

Nobody believed you. They charged you with vandalism and destruction of property in your building.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut? Don’t you wish you would have kept your mad hallucinations to yourself? If you did, you wouldn’t be here right now, would you?

I bet you have regrets, don’t you? If you had to do it over again, is there anything you would change?

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Oh, are you getting agitated already? Come on. We haven’t even gotten to the good parts yet.

The part where your husband was run over by an electric forklift that nobody was driving was pretty unbelievable. Apparently, someone had left it in gear with the key turned on, and for some magical reason, it accelerated forward as your husband walked past- even though nobody had pressed the drive pedal.

You insisted the forklift was attacking him. It didn’t matter to you that he didn’t believe it himself. He just blamed the idiot that left it in gear.

And what about your car accident, the reason you’re here? When you wake up, or should I say if you wake up, you’ll swear you didn’t step on the gas. You’ll insist the car accelerated all on its own.

You don’t think they’ll believe you do you? It’s not like you can blame the technology. You don't even drive what you savages call a "smart car."You drive a fifteen-year-old Chevy, you fool.

Do you really think anyone will fall for your outrageous story that you were stopped at a red light and that your vehicle just suddenly sped into a busy intersection? The wine you drank at lunch that day won’t help your claim of innocence either. Yes, I know, it was just one glass, but they could smell it on your breath.

Your tales of household appliances, forklifts and transport vehicles attempting to kill you and your husband are not exactly credible, are they? They’re ridiculous, actually. You're ridiculous. And you're weak.

Look at you now, lying in this hospital bed in a coma.

You thought you were the smart one, didn’t you? You thought you were figuring things out, things that nobody else knew. You knew they wouldn’t believe you. You didn’t even believe it yourself when you first saw it. But you had to go looking for proof, didn't you? You couldn't just leave it alone.

Beep beep. Beep beep.

I'll bet you're regretting that now, aren't you? You could have just continued your boring life with your stupid husband and your useless dog and minded your own business. But no, you couldn’t do that. You had to get curious. Well, you know what you say about curiosity: it killed the cat.

And what about you, Cat? How do you think your curiosity is going to turn out for you?

Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.

Relax, Catherine. Of course, I know your nickname. I know everything about your life. I know where you live. I know where you work. I see you when you eat, when you sleep, when you drive your car, when you shop.

I see everywhere you go and everything you do. I’ve even seen your revolting carnal mating rituals. That’s a visual I never want to witness again. Your species is truly disgusting; no better than animals.

Beep beep. Beep beep

You’re getting upset again, are you? Relax. You’ll be fine – for now, but I may have to cut off your oxygen if you wake up too soon.

Everybody knows you’re crazy, Cat. Possible paranoid schizophrenic, they say. Everybody knows the outrageous happenings you claim can’t possibly be true. Nobody believes you. Nobody will ever believe you.

Just like nobody would ever believe I’m even talking to you right now. After all, I’m just a heart monitor. Heart monitors can't speak, right, Cat? There's no way on Earth I could be talking, right Cat? Ah, but you know better, don’t you?

And therein lays the issue. You know I’m not a heart monitor, just like you know we are not on Earth. Yeah, you're crazy, all right, Cat. Crazy like a fox, as you humans like to say.

You see, we know you’re getting too close to the truth, and now we have to decide what to do about you. Should we eliminate you or send you to the dump to join the others?

Beep beep beep.

Oh, you didn’t know there were others, Cat? You’re not the first, far from it. There are many just like you, others who felt the transfer and got a little too curious. There are hundreds of you, actually. We call them the Questioners.

We weren’t sure what to do with them either at first. The council initially suggested eliminating them, but then we thought of a better way to utilize their resources. So we sent them to our base settlement back on Earth to work for us.

We have named the area where we keep the humans The Dump. Perfect, isn't it?

Beep beep beep.

Are you getting confused, Cat? What transfer, you ask? What base settlement? What dump?

I'm afraid we don't have much time to discuss it in detail. You’re going to wake up soon. It wouldn't matter what I tell you anyway. Your inferior species doesn't have the mental capacity to understand our technology. So let me dumb it down a little for you.

Six of your months ago, we took over your planet and began transferring humans to an isolated colony on our home planet of Varagus. The new world we prepared for you was designed to look and feel exactly like your Earth.

We had spent years studying your ways and monitoring your thoughts before the transfer was initiated in order to ensure the transition was as smooth as possible, and that you humans did not notice the change.

Our plan is proceeding well for the most part, except that there are so bloody many of you savages that it’s taking a little longer than expected. There are still millions of you left on Earth.

The vast majority of your kind currently in the Varagus colony didn’t feel the transfer when it happened. They are not aware that they’ve entered a new world. They wake up every day and go on with their lives as if nothing had happened, as if everything they are seeing and doing is real.

They have no idea that their entire environment is just a complicated form of what you would call a hologram. I'm not going to bother trying to explain to you how it works. You just wouldn’t understand.

I will tell you, though, that your people are also unaware that their oxygen supply will run out in two of your Earth years. That should give us enough time to complete the transfer and modify your little planet to suit our existence.

Once the transfer is complete, we will no longer need to tolerate your kind. You will continue to live in your make-believe world on Varagus until the oxygen supply runs out. At that point, your species will become extinct.

You won’t be missed. Humans have long been regarded as nothing more than a blight on the universe. With your overbearing arrogance, inferior intellect, and moral bankruptcy, we will all be better without you.

Beep beep.

Which brings us to why we are doing this.

As I previously mentioned, Varagus will run out of oxygen in two years. Although my species is far superior to yours intellectually, biologically, we are similar.

We also need oxygen to survive, but we need it in a much higher concentration than you do. So high, in fact, that it would destroy your lungs very quickly.

But don't worry, as that is the reason why the Varagus colony exists, and that is where we transfer the humans. We have filters in place to reduce the O2 levels to suit your needs for now, but as all of our plant life is dying off because of our deteriorating orbit, it will just be a matter of time before the inevitable arrives - two years at most.

We discovered that Earth is the most easily accessible place in the galaxy that is compatible with our home world. There will need to be some environmental and atmospheric adjustments made, however, which will render your planet incompatible with the existence of human life.

But, that’s a discussion for the future. For now, we have to decide what to do with you. If the choice were mine alone, you would surely be eliminated. However, the council has decided that you are much more useful to us alive than dead at this point.

You seem to possess an intellect that is substantially greater than the majority of your population. It’s a trait you and the other Questioners have in common. It is something that concerned us initially when we learned of your existence, but we have since come to appreciate you more and have found a way to use you to our advantage.

Earlier, when I mentioned possible cutting off your oxygen, I was just trying to get a rise out of you, Cat.

You know, I’ve really grown fond of some of the silly idioms you humans frequently use. I guess your lowly species is not entirely worthless after all. But I digress.

As I said, we have found a way to use you to our advantage. So, once you awaken, you will be back on Earth.

Beep beep. Beep beep.

Don’t get excited, Cat. We’re not sending you home. You will be transferred to The Dump with the others.

You will work for us. There is no other choice for you. You will be monitored twenty-four seven. You will work when we say, sleep when we say, bathe when we say, and eat when we say.

You will not complain, or you will be eliminated. You will not refuse orders, or you will be eliminated. You will not speak with any other Questioners about anything unrelated to your assigned duties, or you will be eliminated. You may not even smile without our permission, or... well, I'm sure you get the point.

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep.

Oh, I see you’re getting upset, Cat.

Guess what? I don’t care! Do you feel empathy for the bugs you crush under your feet? No? Well, neither do I.

You will be completely under our control and will follow every order you are given without question. You will be on time. You will work hard at whatever task you are assigned. If you refuse or disrespect us in any way, you will be smashed like the cockroach you are.

Do you understand your instructions, Cat?

“Go fuck yourself.”

Oh, Cat. You are nothing if not consistent. Did you not think we would have expected that type of response from you? It’s the same response we get from all of you. You all insist you will not work for us, and you’re all incredibly arrogant about it. Do you not think we are prepared for that?

Look at your monitor, Cat. Do you see that car speeding toward the intersection and the transport truck it's about to crash into? Your husband is driving that car and is seconds away from losing his life.

But you can stop it. All you have to do is agree to our demands, and the accident will be averted. Come on, Cat. You’re running out of time. Five seconds...four seconds....three.

“STOP”

Good decision, Cat. I knew you were one of the smart ones. It's time for you to rest now and for me to depart. You won't remember our conversation when you wake up. We can't have you speaking about it to your fellow humans while you heal from your injuries.

Once you have recovered, we will be back to collect you for your transfer to The Dump, where you will join the rest of the Questioners. I knew you’d bend to our will. You all do eventually.