The Neverending Train Journey

Aaron lived an ordinary life. He woke up every day and dressed in his usual plain shirt and simple blue jeans. He arrived at work at 9am on the dot, working through until 5pm. From there he would return home to cook an easy meal, ready to watch whatever TV show he had opted for that week. Of course, he would make time to see his friends and family at the weekends. But he always ensured that the day would end as he laid his head on his pillow, ready for 8 hours of peaceful sleep. This was Aaron’s usual life.

So, why did this morning feel so unordinary to him? Firstly, he was awoken by a sound that wasn’t his alarm clock. Instead, he could hear a rather loud click clack of metal tracks. Secondly, he couldn’t feel the comfort of his bed, the duvet that kept him at an ambient temperature no longer lay on top of him. Now, he was laying on a hard surface, material scratching at his skin. It was only when he was nudged sideways that he felt his back lean against something, which made no sense when his bed was positioned in the middle of the room.

A loud whistle blasted through the silence, startling him, his eyes opening wide. He was blinded by a bright light, normally kept out by his blackout blinds. Then he found himself catapulted forwarded, falling face first onto a solid uncarpeted floor.

“Ouch” was all he could say, grimacing into the hard floor. He looked up slowly, realising he was looking at the inside of a train carriage, a window directly above him showing trees and clouds whooshing by.

He was taking in the detailed carriage when he was once again startled by the sound of an opening door. He turned round to see the sliding doors pushed open, and there in the doorway was the most stunning man he had ever seen.

“Glad to see you’re already awake handsome” the man said, “unfortunately, we haven’t got a lot of time to lay around”.

Aaron gaped at the man; he took in his black jeans, ripped in at the knee, showing off his thick thighs. He looked up and saw him wearing a white top. Aaron was mesmerised by the beauty of this man.

“Glad to see I’ve still got that effect on you” the man said with a smirk.

Aaron blushed, trying to find the right words to respond. He was saved as the man continued to talk.

“Honestly, we really don’t have much time to waste here, we need to get to the back of the train, fast”.

Aaron looked back around the train carriage, slowly lifting himself into a sitting position, “I’m on a train”.

“Very well observed”

Aaron thought for a moment, “but I was in bed. At home”.

“Yes, yes” the man said. There was a loud crash from further down the train. The man looked rather panicked, “as I said, we don’t have a lot of time to waste”. He knelt to lift Aaron to his feet.

However, Aaron backed shuffled into the corner away from him. He kept looking around the train carriage, pinching his arm in the hopes of waking himself up from the unusual dream he had found himself in.

“Unfortunately, this isn’t a dream,” the man said. He took out his phone, observing it for a moment, “I would suggest you stand up now, otherwise I don’t think we’ll make it off the train this time”. He held out his hand to help Aaron stand.

It took a few seconds for Aaron to compose himself slightly before he took hold of the man’s hand, letting himself be helped up. It was only when he was stood that he realised the train carriage was smaller than he first thought, finding himself pressed uncomfortably close to the man. He looked up at him, taking in his sparkling blue eyes.

The man smiled, a cheekiness behind it, “that’s better” he stood back, taking in Aaron from head to toe. He held out his hand again, “ready to run?”

Aaron went to take his hand, but then he paused, “wait…you said you didn’t think we’d make it off the train this time”.

The man grinned, “ah yes, there is the complication. However, we don’t have the time to talk about that right now” he held out his hand again, “so I suggest you take hold and run”.

The train lurched sharply, forcing Aaron into the man’s chest. Aaron blushed as he held the man for a little too long, he composed himself, “sorry” he muttered. He glanced outside, finding the world moving by even quicker. He took a deep breath as he looked at the man’s hand, then looking up at him, “what is your name?”

“Jonathan Matthews” he said with a smile.

“Ok” Aaron said, “Aaron Little”. He looked at Jonathan’s hand, taking hold of it. Then he was rushed from the carriage.

...

Aaron was doing everything he could to avoid tripping over as he was pulled down the narrow train corridor. He occasionally crashed into the wall or the door of one of the many carriages as the train continued to sway along the tracks. Then the train gave a rather aggressive lurch to the right, sending Aaron crashing into one of the open carriages. He looked back to see a piece of ceiling had crashed to the floor, narrowly missing him.

“Quick get up” Jonathan said, attempting to pick a sprawling Aaron up off the floor.

Aaron panted, lifting himself up again. “We need to slow down” he panted, “you haven’t even explained why we are running”.

“We just need to get to the back of the train”

“But why?” Aaron crossed his arms, hoping he was coming across more stubborn that he was willing to commit to, “I refuse to go any further until you tell me what is happening”. He could feel himself shaking, trying to maintain his composure.

Jonathan sighed, looking down the empty carriage toward the front of the train, “Ok, so I don’t know all the details. All that I know is that we’re stuck in some sort of time loop”. He looked at Aaron, giving him time to adjust to the information he had just revealed.

“Stuck in a time loop?” Aaron said, after pausing for a moment to make sure he’d heard correctly. Then he looked annoyed, “if you’re going to lie can you at least do it well”.

“It isn’t a lie” Jonathan said, looking back out into the corridor as another rumble echoed down the train, “we really do need to keep moving though”. He made to grab Aaron’s hand but stumbled as Aaron pulled away sharply.

“I’m not going anywhere with you until you stop lying and tell me exactly what is going on” Aaron wanted desperately to stop shaking so that his words had more strength behind them, but he was so scared that he couldn’t keep his knees from knocking together.

Jonathan let out an exacerbated sigh, “ok, we’ve gone through this a number of times. However, the last time I saw you, you told me something that you’d never told anyone before”.

“Go on then”.

“I don’t mean for this to upset you” Jonathan said, “you told me that the one regret in your life is that you never took any risks, that you felt your life was boring and that you would never be remembered for anything”. He watched Aaron, looking for any signs of recognition.

Aaron breathed deeply, trying desperately to stop tears from welling in his eyes. It wasn’t something that he’d thought of before, let alone told anyone about. Yet he knew that it was true, deep inside he knew that it was his biggest regret. He wiped away a tear, unable to look away from the floor. “Ok…what do we need to do?”

Jonathan went to reach out for Aaron, only brushing his arm before Aaron moved out of reach. Taking a deep breath, Jonathan proceeded to explain, “so, we’ve been trying to figure out how to get off this train for a while, but we can’t seem to figure out how just yet. From what I’ve noticed the past few times, we seem to be stopped before we get to the back of the train, that’s where I think we need to go”.

“Whats at the back of the train?”

“Well, I’m hoping for a door that we can jump out of”

Aaron looked up from the floor, staring straight at Jonathan in disbelief. It was absurd. Time loops were only in sci-fi movies, and Aaron made a point of not watching those sorts of movies, he only liked movies where everything made sense. Now, he was expected to believe that he was unable to escape this train unless he jumped off the back of it. He swayed on the spot slightly, disorientated by everything going on around him, he was held steady by Jonathan. “ok, if what you said is true…”

“It is” Jonathan interrupted.

Aaron stopped again, forcing himself to look Jonathan in the eye, “if what you said is true, what happens for the loop to start again?”

Jonathan looked at him, “I don’t know”.

“You’re lying” Aaron said, “what is it that closes the loop?”

Before Jonathan could answer the train jolted hard, sending the two flying forward, landing painfully on the ground. “We need to get to the back of the train now” Jonathan insisted, pushing himself up, then heaving Aaron to his feet again, “I seem to be getting into a habit of helping you to your feet” he joked.

“Please tell me I wasn’t this clumsy in the other loops” Aaron said, feeling how warm his face felt.

Jonathan simply smiled in return, before taking Aaron’s hand and once again rushing him towards the back of the train.

When they got to the back of the train, the pair were exhausted; their legs hurt from running, and both breathed heavily. Jonathan was the first to try and compose himself, taking in the carriage they had finally arrived in. Unlike the others, this was an open space, with wooden crates lining the walls. The large decorative windows were replaced with thin panes of glass closer to the ceiling of the train, only just letting the summer sun into the dark carriage.

“How bleak” Aaron said nervously. He looked towards the door at the back of carriage, “so we just have to go through there and this will all be over?”

Jonathan moved ahead of him, examining the door, “I’m guessing so”. He moved to the door, pulling on the handle. It didn’t budge. He tried again, pushing all his weight down, desperately trying to get it to open. “Christ, its completely stuck”.

Aaron stood in the centre, looking at Jonathan and the door in disbelief. He tried to keep it hidden, but panic started to rise inside him again. “The door won’t open?” he said, more to himself. “The door won’t open” he said, this time louder, Jonathan now looking at him. “You’ve dragged me all this way and you don’t even know if this is the right way to get us out of this mess”.

“Aaron, you need to keep calm” Jonathan said, moving towards him.

“Don’t belittle me” Aaron said, his body shaking with anger, “all this time I’ve been blindly following you, believing you know exactly what you’re doing”.

“I never said I knew what I was doing” Jonathan retorted, “I’m just as much in the dark as you”.

“But you aren’t” Aaron yelled, “you somehow remember everything that has happened, you know more about me than I know about myself apparently. Now, we’re here and the bloody door won’t even open”.

Jonathan leant back against the door. He tried to ignore Aaron but couldn’t hold himself back anymore. “You’re right, I have no idea what I’m doing. Who would? We’re stuck in some crazy sci-fi crap, and for some reason I have to remember everything that happens, every wrong move, every death…” he stopped talking immediately. He avoided Aaron’s eye-contact, knowing he had startled him.

“Every death?” Aaron asked quietly. His thoughts were racing again, “that’s how the loop ends. We die”. He could feel tears falling down his face, his heartbeat quickening.

“It’ll be ok” Jonathan said, moving to hold Aaron. He stopped when Aaron backed up, avoiding him. “I promise you that I won’t let anything happen to you”. A loud bang echoed from further down the train, “just ignore that… I’m sorry, I should’ve told you, we’ve never been this far before, but there has to be a reason for that. We’ve always been stopped before we got here…”

“How has it happened?” Aaron interrupted. He waited for Jonathan’s response, he didn’t get one, “I deserve to know what has been happening to me”.

Jonathan knew that Aaron was right, he did deserve to know what was happening and what had happened in the other loops. The problem was, he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth.

...

Before his time on the train, Jonathan was used to living an unordinary life. Every day he would wake up and take on the unexpected, whether that was climbing a mountain, kayaking in the nearby river, or running a marathon. No matter how his day panned out, he knew at the end of the day, he would be able to rest his head on his pillow and get himself a peaceful night’s sleep.

That was until he woke up one day and find himself alone on a fast-moving train. He had wondered up and down the empty corridor, eventually coming across a carriage where a man lay fast asleep. On his first loop, he only found out small details about this man, his name, Aaron. That was when Jonathan made his first mistake, he left Aaron in the carriage, instead venturing down the train on his own. He’d heard an explosion, not knowing what had happened, but continued on anyway. It was only when the ceiling above him collapsed that he found himself waking up once again in the same carriage, once again coming across Aaron. This time he brought Aaron along with him, feeling an odd need to protect him. That’s when the same ceiling collapsed on Aaron, missing Jonathan by mere inches. He cried, horrified by the sight of Aaron’s crushed body, not noticing the large fire that rushed towards him from a large explosion close by.

He woke up for a third time, realising that something truly horrible was going on. He rushed to Aaron, taking his hand and making his way in the opposing direction, only for both of them to be caught up in yet another explosion.

On and on this went, each time Jonathan watched as Aaron died in some horrific accident, only to follow with his own death. No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop their lives from coming to an end. The longer he spent with Aaron the more he came to care for him, wanting to keep him safe, only to have his heart broken again and again.

...

Aaron looked at Jonathan, waiting for him to reply, “well, tell me what happened”.

Tears welled in Jonathan’s eyes as he remembered everything that he had seen, all the times he’d watched Aaron suffer the same fate. “I’m so sorry” he sobbed. Before he could answer a huge explosion shook the train. It sounded far enough away to not cause Jonathan too much worry, however it set Aaron’s anxiety through the roof.

“We die don’t we” Aaron yelled, looking down the train corridor, seeing thick black smoke further down. “That’s how the loop ends,” he looked at Jonathan, “we keep dying don’t we?”

Jonathan sobbed harder, “I’ve been trying so hard to keep you safe, I’ve tried everything”. He fell to his knees, pleading for something to end this horrific nightmare, he looked up at Aaron, his back still to him, “please, believe me, this was the only thing I could think would get us out of whatever hell we’re in”.

Aaron looked down at Jonathan, his own tears stinging his eyes. He wanted to hate Jonathan and despise him for keeping something like this from him. Yet, there was something deep inside him that wouldn’t let him feel hatred, “why do I care so much for you?” he said, his tone soft and kind. He knelt in front of Jonathan, “I’ve been trying to ignore it the past few hours, but there is this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when I look at you. What is that?”

Jonathan stared into Aaron’s eyes, there was something there that suggested Aaron recognised who he was. Jonathan smiled, stifling a laugh. He went to talk but another explosion, this time closer, rocked the train violently, the black smoke starting to fill their carriage. He turned to see the door to the back of the train swing open, the bright sun shining onto them. He looked at Aaron, taking hold of his hands, “do trust me?”

Aaron thought for a moment, looking deep into Jonathan’s eyes, “I think I do” he replied, “what is your plan?”

Jonathan looked behind him at the open train door, then back at Aaron, “it’s a very risky plan, I don’t even know if it will work.

Looking past Jonathan, Aaron watched the train tracks, he could hear the rush of wind as the train continued its never-ending journey. He looked back at Jonathan, now more panicked than before. “Please don’t tell me your plan is to jump off the train”.

“I’m afraid it is”

Aaron tried to swallow his fear but found that he wanted nothing more than to throw up. Tears started to stream even more down his face. He smiled as he felt Jonathan brush the tears from his face, “what if it doesn’t work”.

“Then we just have to try something else”

“What if we don’t loop back?”

That had been a fear Jonathan had every time the loop came to an end. Each time he saw Aaron perish he wondered if this would be for the final time. “Then at least this nightmare comes to an end in one way”.

Aaron let out a nervous laugh, “that really doesn’t make me feel any better about your plan”.

“How about this?” Jonathan lent forward and kissed Aaron, their lips brushing gently together. They held each other as their kiss deepened, wanting nothing more than to hold each other close. As they pulled away Jonathan said, “any better?”

“No,” Aaron said, a big smile plastered on his face, “well, yes, I mean, that was…wow” he blushed, “that was…really nice”.

Jonathan laughed, giving Aaron another quick kiss. Then he stood up, holding his hand out to Aaron for the last time, “you ready to do this?”.

Aaron paused for a moment. He looked back to the smoke-filled corridor, and winced as yet another explosion rocked the train. He looked at the open door of the carriage, now seeing that they were on a bridge, the smell of sea salt drifting into the carriage. He then looked at Jonathan’s hand, “ok let’s do this”. He took hold of his hand and lifted himself up.

They stood at the edge of the train, Jonathan looking out at the sea below, Aaron looking nervously at the train tracks rushing underneath them. Their hands were clasped tightly together. “I’m not sure about this” Aaron said.

“Neither am I,” Jonathan said, his bravery threatening to leave him entirely. He squeezed Aaron’s hand, “if we aim for off the bridge, we stand more chance of surviving by landing in the water”.

Aaron looked nervously off the side of the bridge, “you’re joking right?”

“I think we moved past joking when I suggested we jump off the train in the first place” Jonathan responded, “it doesn’t look like it's too far a drop”.

“We’re on a train going god knows how fast, where we have to jump and hope we make it off the bridge, but the drop is what you’re worried about,” Aaron said, backing away from the edge slightly.

Jonathan held Aaron’s hand tight, “it’ll be ok”. He pulled Aaron close to him, looking into his eyes, “no matter what happens, it has been incredible getting to know you”.

Aaron smiled, “I wish I had those memories; it would’ve been nice to know you more”.

They kissed again, more passionately than last.

Jonathan spoke first, “when we get through this you can”.

They turned and faced the edge again, the train rocking more as an explosion echoed behind them. “On three,” Jonathan said. He squeezed Aaron’s hand. “One”

“Two”

“Three”.