The Mess

“You just don't…you don't fit in my life!” she said while looking down at the floor. She hated how dramatic she sounded but she hoped this would end the conversation and get Rick mad enough to leave her alone.

“I don’t fit in your life? You barely have a life! You have nothing or anyone in your life as it is!” Rick instantly regretted being mean to her but he was hurt himself and he wanted her to be hurt too.

“You’re right, I don’t have anyone in my life Rick, because everyone eventually turns into this. This whole conversation is stupid! Worthless! Why are we arguing when the answer is clear-we don’t belong together. Just leave please. Leave and don’t come back. Go find a good normal girl who…..just leave” Veronica crossed her arms and walked to her door. Rick wanted to say more but as he looked at Veronica he realized there was not much more to say. He grabbed his jacket and walked towards her to the door.

“I hope you know what you are doing. We’re not getting any younger, you know. Whatever issues you have going, I am more than willing to be there for you but you can’t just throw me out whenever you feel a certain way” Rick hoped his last words would help Veronica realize what she was doing. He was being as honest as he could with her. He still wanted to be with her despite all her problems so he decided brutal honesty was needed. As Rick put on his jacket and grabbed the door handle he saw Veronica falling down to the floor slowly. She ended up on the floor in a fetal position and started quietly crying. Rick knelt down beside her, all he could do was hug her. Veronica cried like this for a few minutes then finally sat up from the floor. Her eyes were puffy and her face was wet. Rick sat there and grabbed her hands. They did not say anything and instead just stared into each other's eyes. Rick felt like crying too, he wanted to cry for her, he was not sure why she was in so much pain but it hurt him to see and hear how much pain she was in. Finally, after some time Veronica spoke.

“Rick, this what you see here in front of you. This wet, broken, sad and pathetic person sitting in front of you, this is what I did not want you to see. This is what I was saving you from. You think you can deal with someone who breaks down at random parts of the day and sometimes for months? Do you think you can deal with me losing all composure? Even if you did Rick, I don’t want that for you. I don’t want your pity! I don’t want your hugs! I know what I should be! I know what you deserve and it's not me! It’s not. You deserve a healthy nice girl. The kind of girl I wish I was but have never been able to be. I’ve tried Rick! I really have!” Veronica suddenly got up and walked to her door once more. “I’m not going to allow you to ruin your life Rick” Veronica caressed Rick’s cheek while nodding no and trying not to cry once more. Rick got up and was unsure what was happening. He gave Veronica a hug and headed out the door. Veronica closed the door slowly and locked it. Rick stood outside of her door. He was unsure if he should leave or not. Eventually he left and got into his car. As he sat in his car he looked up at the apartments where Veronica lived. He opened his cell phone and started texting Veronica.

“You might think you’re a mess and you may be right, but it doesn’t scare me. I’m not afraid of a mess. The only thing I’m afraid of is not having you in my life, now that would be truly scary. I’m coming back tomorrow to see you, mess or not”