The Many Adventures of Dangerous Dave and Silly Steve

Chapter 1 - Let’s go to the beach!

Dangerous Dave and Silly Steve are best of friends, they live with Dangerous Dave’s Nan. She can’t hear very well and she likes to sleep a lot.

Today Dangerous Dave and Silly Steve have decided they want to go to the beach.

“Steve what exactly do you need for the beach?” Dave asks.

“I don’t really know Dave! I saw this programme once on TV they said that it’s very hot on the beach, that there’s lots of water and you’ll eat lots of ice cream” Steve replied “Have you ever been to the beach Dave?”

“No Steve, I think we should probably pack some stuff to take with us though, I definitely remember when Nan went to the beach once she packed a beach bag.”

“Should we ask your Nan what we need to take Dave?”

“She’s not here Steve she’s gone to play football with Norris the neighbour”

“Ok Dave well we’ll have to think ourselves what we’ll need.”

Dave and Steve go off to find what they’ll need for the beach. Dave decides that they definitely don’t have a beach bag. He had accidently catapulted his Nan’s beach bag into Norris’ conifer tree last summer. He and Steve had been trying to see if they could fly over the fence, they’d made a catapult out of two of Nan’s best rose bushes and a pair of her extremely large underpants. Dave had hooked one leg hole off one bush and one leg hole off the other. He then got Steve to pull the pants back as far as he could, Dave then placed a number of things he had found in the house inside the pants, one at a time. Once an item was placed safely inside the pants Steve would let go. First they tried one of Nan’s best china bowls, that didn’t work it just plopped out onto the floor and smashed into tiny pieces. The TV didn’t work either. After adjusting the rose bushes and underpants slightly Dave picked up Nan’s beach bag which was still full from her visit to the beach with Norris the day before. They decided between them that this was a flying success and that Dave would be the first to fly. Dave strapped a pair of swimming goggles on and Nan’s shower cap whilst exclaiming “Safety first” then started counting backwards from 10.... 9.... 8..... 7.... Steve got distracted by a squirrel chasing Scribbles (Nan’s 3 legged cat) and accidently let go of Dave before he was ready. Steve looked up and at that moment thought wow Dave’s flying as he watched him take off over the back fence. Nobody saw Dave for two days after that, he had landed in the next town and had to walk home. Dave was known for coming up with dangerous plans. Dave decided that instead of a beach bag they could use a bin bag, Dave thought this was a brilliant idea.

Steve meanwhile had thought that as it was going to be hot they might need sun cream, the sun scream however must have been in the bag that was now stuck in Norris’ conifer tree. Steve thought for a moment and decided that the closet thing they had to sun cream was mayonnaise, it looked just like sun cream and actually was probably even better than sun cream as if he was feeling a bit peckish he could just lick a bit of his mayonnaise off. He also remembered that you have to wear hats and glasses when it’s hot, he picked up 2 of Nan’s shower caps and both of her pairs of reading glasses. What do I need for the water thought Steve? I definitely heard Nan talking about how her and Norris had floated out to see in a rubber ring when they went to the beach and had to be rescued by the life guard! Steve ran into the garage and took the tyre off Nan’s car. Wonderful he thought that’s the hats, glasses, sun cream and rubber ring sorted.

The last job was the ice cream, luckily Dave and Steve ate ice cream every morning for breakfast, their favourite topping was bacon bits, this wasn’t really out of choice but because Dave’s Nan keeps mistaking them for sprinkles when she goes food shopping, she usually forgets her glasses. Dave and Steve don’t like to upset Nan so they kindly say thank you, and have actually grown to like the taste of ice cream and bacon. Dave grabbed a tub of velvety vanilla ice cream and a pack of bacon bits and ran into Steve.

“So Steve I’ve sorted the ice cream and the beach bag have you sorted everything else?” Dave placed the bin bag in front of Steve and put the ice cream and bacon bits inside.

“Yes Dave, sun cream sorted” showing him the mayonnaise.

“That’s not sun cream Steve!” Dave laughed.

“Well we don’t have any sun cream Dave, this looks exactly the same and has the added bonus that we can eat it too”

“Amazing idea Steve you are full of great ideas” Dave shouted. Dave really did think that Steve came up with the most amazing ideas, everyone else however though Steve’s ideas were a bit silly.

“I’ve also got the rubber ring, hats and glasses Dave” Steve stated as he put the tyre, shower caps, reading glasses and mayonnaise into the bag.

“Amazing, I suppose we best go then Steve” said Dave as he swung the bin bag over his shoulder, accidentally hitting Steve in the head with it as it swung and sending him flying into Nan’s china dresser. SMASH two of the shelves fell down.

“What are you doing Steve now’s not the time for sitting down” Dave looked at Steve puzzled as to why he was on the floor.

“Sorry Dave” Steve gasped as he stood up, he now had lots of dust in his hair from the broken china and shelves.

They walked out of the house and Dave slammed the door shut, as it slammed they heard some more shelves fall and china break.

“Wonderful” Dave said excitedly “Nan loves to tidy up. Right Steve let’s go to the beach”