THE JUMP

She was not here, on this day of all days, she was not here to see him jump.

He had left the branch's safety, which he had been sitting on a split-second ago. He was now, mid-air, thinking about what a beautiful morning he had chosen. Golden sunlight flooded the forest and insects danced in the sun rays that reached through the treetops towards the dusty ground. A lukewarm breeze promised a hot summer day. Yet, there was something else in the air. An invisible tension had taken over the small clearing in the woods. The crowd that had gathered was abuzz.

The best spots on the neighboring branches had long been taken by a couple of pigeons, hermit thrushes, and other common rubberneckers like woodpeckers and, of course, a bunch of squirrels. He did not like squirrels very much. His mother had explained to him that no pine needle was hitting the ground in this forest without them hearing about it. As the word had spread some ground folk, primarily rodents, had also arrived and were standing and sitting between roots and bushes. All of them with their heads tilted back, while some were still chewing on some berries.

He only had this one chance. Still, how he had wished to hear a kind voice. One voice in particular. SHE would have gently guided him towards the edge and whispered: "I know you got this. Trust me." Just by hearing this, you could've heard the soft smile in her voice.

Her presence had always given him the feeling that everything would be alright and that the world was only waiting for him. He just needed to go out there whenever he felt ready and say: "Here I am world! Now show me what you've got."

It's been days since his last proper meal. All his brothers and sisters had left a long time ago. The last one to leave had turned around and told him:" You got to wake up man. It's only you now, you understand?! I can't take care of you anymore. Good luck." Yet, he returned one last time, dropping off some food for but left without another word.

It was not fair. They all had HER by their side in this important moment. Not him. He was here all alone. He knew that now. For several days he had believed she'd been held up somehow. She would show up any minute now. She would be crying and explaining herself while pressing him against her warm body. He had stopped being so sure about her return but wouldn't lose hope that she had to come back eventually. This morning had been different. His own thoughts had begun to sound ridiculous to him. "She is gone! YOU need to do something!", he had told himself.

Between the turmoil of voices and twittering that surrounded him, he could make out things like:" Come on man. It's not that high.", or "You can do it!". He hadn't been quite sure if they had been mocking or actually supporting him in his endeavor.

The last thing he remembered had been a particularly nervous squirrel that was saying: "I don't think he has the nuts to do it." Since then, time had been standing still. All he could think was: " That's a looong way down." Everything had slowed down and it felt like time had been frozen. All these thoughts were rushing through his head, in mid-air. Meters and meters of nothingness below him and then the hard ground. The bit of moss and needles would not dampen the impact, he reckoned.

His whole body tingled like crazy. He kicked into the air a few times but there was nothing. Time had felt like it was standing still but now it sped up rapidly, way quicker than he felt comfortable with. He was falling. He passed lower branches on his way down and curious eyes followed him like passengers on a platform looking at a passing train, but vertically.

He couldn't breathe. All this air but nothing would go into his tiny lungs. "No no no no." This was all going way too fast. He felt sick and thought of HER. "I love you Mommy!" One last time the memory of her flickered like a small light in his chest. The wind made his eyes tear up and yanked his tiny wings away from his body. His fall was abruptly halted before it continued again. He pulled his wings close to his body. He had observed his siblings do this but could not have imagined what this would feel like. He did not want to fall so he spread out his wings again and pushed the air away as hard as he could.

This felt different. He was moving like an invisible hand had given him a slight push forward. "Is this really happening?" Again, he pushed the air away but this time he kept his wings spread out steadily so the wind would constantly support him from below. "I am doing it! I am flying!"

He heard the crowd calling and tweeting from all around the trees. Other birds soared as well and soon the small clearing was packed. It was hard to explain but it felt so natural to him as if he was meant to be right here.

For the first time, he looked around. Down below, he could see his shadow rushing over the ground. A chipmunk took flight as soon as she looked up. He laughed. This felt amazing. A pigeon steered right at him. Quick-witted he stroke his wings strongly and saw her pass under him. "That was close!"

His shadow kept expanding but it did not resemble his body shape at all. In fact, the shadow was way too big for him. From one moment to the other, the sun disappeared. It was not his shadow that had caused the chipmunk to escape. Nobody was cheering anymore but more and more birds were striking alarm. A hawk circled over the clearing.

Panic spread. This must have been the moment the hawk had been waiting for. He tilted his head down and dove.

"What do I do now?" This was his first flight ever, not to mention his first interaction with a hawk. Mice were rushing toward some roots while the flapping of wings filled the air. A woodpecker and a vibrant mountain bluebird flashed by. He took up pursuit.

More birds joined as they were heading toward the treeline in front of them. That was when the predator cut right through the fleeing birds. An air blast scattered the group apart. A somersault later he found his balance and beat his wings. His little heart was pounding in his throat.

Trying not to think about if the hawk would attack again, they entered the forest. Thick branches, ferns, and mossy trunks appeared like an unsurmountable obstacle course. Ducking and swerving he heard an ear-shattering cry. He had never heard anything like that. The hawk was after them.

The mountain bluebird that had overtaken him just a second ago appeared behind him flying for his dear life. The hawk must have missed him and was now making up for the delay. Side by side they maneuvered through the underwood together. They stayed close to the ground, where the hawk would not get to them so easily. This proved to be the right instinct. It was too narrow for their pursuer to follow them, who uttered a frustrated cry.

"Did he give up?" The sharp claws crashed through the leaves above them. The hawk missed them but he would try again. "What do we do now?", he tweeted to his companion, but the mountain bluebird only gave him a panicked look and kept going.

Bright lights appeared in front of them. "Oh no!" The trees opened up again meaning that the protective underwood would end soon and leave them wide open for another attack.

The hawk must have seen it too and put one and one together. He prepared for his final strike. But it did not come to that.

A big fat nut hit the carnivore right above his temple. Another one hit him on his right wing so he struggled there for a moment to regain control.

He couldn't believe his eyes. Squirrels jumped from branch to branch and followed them with breathtaking speed. Completely overwhelmed by all these new feelings in his tiny heart, he thought to himself: "Oh you lovely, kind, and brave squirrels."

A rainshower of acorns pounded on the hawk's body. He grew so irritated that he started to fly in circles and shouted at the squirrels but they were constantly moving, jumping, and throwing their nuts. Disoriented and angry he cried out ... and fled. They had won.

All of this happened so fast he had forgotten that he was still flying at full speed. He reached the opening and shot out into the open like a small arrow. Blinded by the sunlight he simply kept going. He flew higher and higher until the adrenalin wore off and he slowly dared to open his eyes again and saw... a gigantic blue sky.

He looked around but there was no sign of the hawk. He was gone. Fear had left his body completely and made space for this interpenetrating feeling of ... "What was it?" ... "Yes." ...being alive.

He took a deep breath and sailed along. A beautiful valley opened up below him. An ocean of green pine trees laid thick and beautiful in front of him and was only dissected by, what seemed like, hundreds of small and bigger rivers. He could not stop looking at everything. This world was ... beautiful and grand. Maybe, when he looked long and hard, somewhere out there, he might even find his mother someday. He made a promise to himself. "I will find you.", he said, with a very grown-up seriousness, and he meant it. He was out of the nest and he survived his first attack. He was a bird.

"Now, ... how do I land?"

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A short story by Moritz Bauer