THE GLITTERATI ☆ ii

ii ☆ GRIEF ACTS WORSE AT NIGHT

7:26 PM

NEARLY AN hour passed before Griffin finally pulled up to Sid’s house. Without a word, he pulled her into a hug, his heart going out to her. “Thank you,” she whispered, leaning into him. She was grateful that he’d been there for her all day long, always seeming to care about how she was feeling in every situation that challenged her right to grieve. She wanted to forget her loss for a bit. Just a few hours. But it seemed like when she pushed it to the back of her mind, somehow the universe figured out a way to remind her.

To remind her that, in the words of Lennox, she was short a parent.

Gia met her at the passenger door as she got out of the car, searching her eyes for any type of indication as to where her relationship stood with Lennox now. “G, I’m sorry―”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Gia interrupted, pulling her into a quick hug. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into him, but I guarantee you that’s it for me. I can’t stand by someone who would treat anyone like that, let alone a friend.” Griffin met them at the end of the driveway, placing her car keys in her hand.

“We’re here for you, Sid. Whatever you need, just ask.”

Sid forced a smile, her emotions seeming to catch up with her all at once. Hold it together. “Thank you. I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Gia smiled, waiting for Sid to reach her front door. She had barely realized her mom’s car absent in the space next to hers, and Brooks’ car in its place. Her dad had given him a spare key to the house just months before he passed, which he found good use for. Sid waved goodbye as Gia pulled away, watching as her car disappeared around the street. She inhaled, well aware of the barrage of emotions building up inside her, waiting to be released.

Sid let herself inside, wondering where her mother could be. Perhaps she had the same idea, getting some sort of permanent reminder of her late husband inked into her skin. Come to think of it, Sid had hardly felt any pain at all, assuming the feelings she was running on overshadowed any sort of foreign introduction to simply feeling when it didn’t concern her father.

She made her way through the kitchen, plucking a water bottle from the fridge and indulging in a sip. She was stalling. Brooks would be waiting for her in her bedroom, where he always waited. She could imagine it now, a time he did so with her father present. One time she was just getting home from school and Brooks was upstairs, engaged in an in-depth conversation with him about her, nonetheless.

Given their history from preschool and up until now, Brooks had seen more of her awkward stages than Lennox even. Brooks was recalling the time she fell off the jungle gym in the second grade and busted her head open. It was the talk of the entire class for at least a week straight, how Sid Carver had to get the ambulance called to the second-grade playground because she was so close to bleeding to death.

In reality, the so-called severity of the situation only rewarded her with four stitches, a phenomenon of course when it came to surviving what they saw as life-threatening. Of course, Brooks Turner was the one to tease her about the entire ordeal, insisting that she did it all for attention. And, of course, he’d also planned to do the same thing that next week, partially because he was jealous of all the attention she’d gotten.

Her father laughed at that, recalling the fact that both her knee and head injuries were so close together, the need for the sunflower lullaby the key to her surviving such events. He would say the doctors, to her at the time, were much scarier than actually incurring harm in the first place.

Sid smiled to herself at this, her feet almost pushing her forward and up the stairs. She drew in a shaky breath before rounding the hallway connected to the loft, making eye contact with Brooks. She let out a helpless sob before the tears started flowing, prompting him to meet her where she stood and give her the one thing that always seemed to help: a shoulder to cry on.

This had become somewhat of a ritual of theirs, that on this day, she would cry and he would listen just as he’d always done. One thing he could never understand was how she was able to keep it together so well, even in the midst of the tragedy that’d left her without a father and her mother without a husband. Her strength was unparalleled, a feat he could never pull off. Showing emotions was a level of vulnerability she didn’t share with everyone, but he was proud to be the one she chose to do that with.

And, come to think of it, so did her father. Before he died, he had a conversation with him about his cancer, insisting that he be there to take care of both Sid and Elaine, asking him to essentially adopt the responsibilities he’d had for years. A task Brooks was glad to take on. Especially for Sid.

Sid cried for what seemed like hours on end, the pain she was feeling intensifying all at once. The fact that someone she considered to be a close friend ― besides his recent focus on pleasing Gia ― could so blatantly speak about her parent-less state, so rudely addressed in regards to her decision not to drink, baffled her. She couldn’t help but think, given the fact that Lennox hadn’t had a drip to drink, that maybe some of her other friends felt the same way.

That she, Sid Carver, when it came to April 24th, was a burden and a buzzkill to be around.

Just when nine o’clock rolled around, she could hear the front door shut from her room, indicating that her mother was home. She never knew what kind of state she would be in. Last year, it was all bottles and cigarettes for her, leaving the house nearly impossible. Sid was worried that she would do something to hurt herself, not that the liquid poison was giving her any type of advantage when it came to health.

“Sid?” her mom called out, collapsing into the couch. She was exhausted to say the least, grieving always taking more out of her than she’d expected. She spent the day visiting her husband’s grave, telling him everything there was to know about their lives at that moment in time. Sid never liked the idea of seeing the grave, insisting that she was better off not seeing evidence that he somehow existed still in the physical sense.

She liked holding onto the memories more than anything else, being able to revisit the times she had with her father, good and bad. Holding onto the things that reminded her that he was there at some point, alive and well.

“Coming!” She smiled up at Brooks in thanks, waving for him to follow her downstairs.

Picturing his face before the cancer diagnosis seemed to be a tough thing. It had taken over their lives so, pushing everything else back when it came to priorities.

She found her mother sprawled out on the couch, her eyes closed but mind racing. She brought her index finger and thumb to the bridge of her nose, the one thing she always did before she had something important to say. Or when Sid was in trouble.

There was no way to tell which instance this was.

“Do you mind telling me why you walked out of class today? And why your principal told me you talked back to your teacher?” Sid gulped. They lied on her and now, when it came to her mom, it was her word against theirs.

“All I did was tell him that I didn’t need to pass my exam to pass his class because of my GPA. I just answered his question.”

“But why did you walk out of class?”

A frog formed in Sid’s throat at this question, the significance of today lodging itself in her answer. When only silence surrounded them, Elaine opened her eyes, registering the emotions painted across her daughter’s face. She’d worked so hard all day to keep her feelings at bay, hardly aware that her daughter had done the same thing.

“I’m sorry,” Sid murmured, meeting her mother’s gaze for the first time today. “I tried not to think about it, but then Lennox brought it up because I wouldn’t drink during a stupid game. . . I just miss him, mom.” Elaine embraced her, failing at her attempt to hold back tears after hearing her daughter’s grief.

“I miss him, too.” Brooks excused himself, heading for the front door. Elaine thanked him for supporting her, as he always did.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” Sid announced once Brooks pulled out of the driveway. She’d forgotten about the tattoo, praying that her mom would approve and more importantly, appreciate the sentiment. She sat on the couch next to her, turning to face her. Without a word, she pulled off her cardigan, revealing the sunflower etched into her skin.

Her mother stayed silent for what seemed to be an eternity, taking her time to register the news. “It’s perfect, Sid.” To her surprise, she was proud of her for taking it upon herself to handle her grief and pay tribute to her father. “This is the part where you tell me it’s just Sharpie, right?” she snickered, Sid’s face contorting into an expression of shock.

A hearty laugh escaped Elaine’s throat ― the way she would before her husband’s diagnosis. She had something to announce, too. “Well, while we’re sharing, I wanted to run something by you, and your tattoo actually gives me an idea. Earlier this week, I met with a real estate agent and I got a quote on the house. What do you think about selling this place, getting a fresh start?”

The thought of living anywhere else sent a shiver through Sid’s spine as she took a second to process what her mother was proposing. This was the house she grew up in, the house that facilitated every memory she had with her father. The memories she held onto, especially now that he wasn’t around to create any more. On the other hand, considering the day she’d had, it was simply impossible to escape the reality that was losing her father. Impossible to escape this day without everyone either giving her their condolences ― of course non-conducive to turning back time ― or suggesting that she get over it and move on. Something about being in a new place where no one could possibly know about the tragedy she’d endured, and therefore give her an even playing field.

Like her mother said, a fresh start.

“Where would we move? The only home I’ve ever known is in this town and in this house.”

“Well, that’s where my idea comes in. We don’t have to decide just yet, but I was thinking a little getaway would be good for us. We could go to the sunflower field, spend some time in your father’s favorite place and then once we got home, we could pack up and head wherever the road takes us.”

It was the sunflower field idea that sold her on the whole thing. Like a final goodbye, and, thanks to her tattoo, she’d never really have to leave him behind. He’d always be with her, both in her heart, and the ink that represented everything he loved.

Sid smiled, subconsciously tracing the sunflower on her collarbone before answering. “Let’s do it. I think a fresh start is just what I need. And after today, I think I can get by with avoiding graduation.”

Elaine shook her head in protest, not wanting her daughter to miss out on such an important rite of passage that would signify her transition into adulthood. “Let’s discuss that when we get back, okay? I definitely would love to see you walk in the ceremony. And, you know if your father were here, he would be cheering for you the entire night, but I understand where you’re coming from. Let’s visit the field and then we can discuss everything in detail when we get back. We’re in this together, so whatever you decide, I’ll support one-hundred percent,” she promised. “As long as you don’t get another tattoo without telling me, first,” she joked, putting her hand out for Sid to shake in agreement.

Sid laughed, shaking her mother’s hand. “Deal. When do we leave?”

Elaine glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Well, if you can pack a few snacks for the road and get ready, I’d say in about ten minutes.” Sid took that as a challenge, jumping from her seat on the couch and heading for the pantry first. Elaine clapped in excitement, grabbing a bag of essentials they already had tucked away in the garage. Sid’s father had packed it long before his diagnosis, always taking care to replenish it so they had it ready for impromptu trips. Just like this one.

By the time she got back inside, Sid was already standing by the door with a backpack full of granola bars, gummy bears, and any bags of chips she could find on the shelf. Elaine beamed, shutting off most of the lights in the house before locking the door behind them. It didn’t take long to reach the highway that led to the edge of town, a single road beyond that leading them straight toward the sunflower field.

Sid chewed on a granola bar, partially to keep herself awake beside the fact that she’d hardly eaten anything today. Elaine noticed that she was fighting sleep. “Someone’s tired.” It was hard to see anything in the car because of how dark it was outside, but she could hear the grin in her voice.

“Not at all,” Sid drawled, her body suddenly alerting her of just how exhausted she was. She was emotionally drained, and sleep seemed to be the only way out of it at this point.

“I know when you’re beat. Go ahead and rest, sweetheart. I honestly don’t mind the silence. Gives me time to think.”

Sid was already half asleep. “I’ll take over once we’re off the highway,” she offered, leaning her head against the door. The subtle hum of the engine seemed to drown out every emotion she was feeling, leaving nothing but the sound of her father’s voice singing the lullaby in her head.

Sunflower yellow, buzzing bee

Find a fellow in a sycamore tree

Sunflower yellow, climb to see

How beautiful sunflower yellow can be

The last image that flashed through Sid’s mind before she was completely out was the silhouette of the very sycamore tree the lullaby was about. The tree her father helped her climb sat in the middle of the sunflower field.

The tree that showed her just how beautiful sunflower yellow could be.

☆

ELAINE CALLED Sid’s name as she pulled into a remote gas station that sat just on the edge of town. The only car in sight belonged to the clerk, which sat engulfed in a shadow adjacent to the decrepit building in front of them. They knew the owner of the store pretty well, an older gentleman who connected with Sid’s father on one of their trips to the sunflower field years ago.

Sid stirred, taking a moment to gather her bearings. “Let’s use the bathroom here, maybe grab something to drink, and then it’s my turn to take a nap.” Sid stretched once she got out of the car, deciding it’d be best to grab a caffeinated drink to be sure she had the energy to stay awake. The drive so far had only taken a couple of hours, giving her the opportunity to get some rest, but not nearly enough after everything she’d been through.

A faint bell sounded as they walked inside, a “hello” sounding from the front of the store. Sid rounded the corner beyond the candy aisle while Elaine headed straight for the bathroom. She scanned the fridges along the wall, grabbing a Starbucks Frappuccino for herself and an orange soda for her mom.

Her mom met her near the Slurpee machines, taking the drinks from her to give her the chance to use the bathroom before they got back on the road. By the time Sid was done, her mom was paying at the counter, deciding at the last minute to pay for gas while they were there. Since there wasn’t anyone else around, they just pulled up to the pump after paying.

It was nearing midnight, the sky a pitch-black hue now save for the stars splattered against the canvas above them. Sid took a swig of her coffee, pulling out of the gas station and onto the solitary road that would take them to her father’s favorite place.

Besides being with my two favorite girls, he’d always say.

The first time he took them, her jaw dropped. She was in awe of the way they grew together, the brilliance of her father’s favorite color, and the way it almost looked as if the sun were growing from the ground. “This is the reason I like sunflowers,” he told her. “They remind me to always look for the sun even on my darkest days.”

She smiled to herself, looking up at the sky as if to search for the sun. The moon would have to suffice for now. It didn’t take long for her mother to fall asleep. She took the time to bring her thoughts to the forefront of her mind, slowly acknowledging them internally one-by-one. She forced herself to face how she felt about everything she was battling with and running from, figuring it was the only way to leave the past in the past and move on. The only way she could truly appreciate the opportunity for a fresh start.

First things first, Mr. Hobbs. Given that her father was a well-known public figure during his run in politics, it was news accessible to all of Hayward Grove that the Hayward native running for mayor was diagnosed with cancer. So of course, upon his death, there were well wishes and gift baskets sent to their house for almost a week straight, including a card signed by the entire staff of the high school that apologized for her loss.

She accepted the fact that after simply answering his question ― albeit it wasn’t the response he was looking for ― even if there was a chance for her to still walk in the graduation ceremony, there was no doubt she would have to jump through hoops.

Next was the way Lennox seemed to completely disregard the fact that he was friends with her father as well. Instead of worrying about whether or not Sid wanted to drink, any good friend would’ve been sensitive to the fact that their friend was grieving. She was grateful to Griffin, Gia, and Brooks for always being there. When it came to Lennox, she had to realize that their friendship hadn’t been the same for a while. Regarding the blowup he’d had, it was easier to digest if perhaps he’d had something to drink before she joined the party.

Lastly, the fear of moving on seemed to be creeping up on her, almost as if moving to a new place would somehow disrespect the memory of her father. Deep down, she knew that wasn’t the case. She knew that the tattoo, and creating this new start would be something her father would support. He’d always wanted her to go out and explore the world, and it looked like this was the perfect chance to do that.

As dawn announced itself across the horizon, the landscape around them slowly started to change. The barren, Arizona desert that seemed to stretch on for miles on end slowly melded into a sparse forest that got thicker as the road went on. Elaine didn’t seem to be bothered by the bumpy terrain, her chest in a steady rhythm of rise and fall.

About half an hour passed before they seemed to be completely surrounded by trees. Just as Sid was prepared to wake her mother to ask if she needed to turn ― only partially remembering the fork in the road coming up ― a rumbling groan came from under the hood. The engine sputtered, momentarily slowing the car down and then jerking it forward. Sid gripped the wheel in an attempt to keep control of the car’s direction. It proved to be to no avail, jerking forward every time she loosened up.

As she fought with it, the steering wheel seemed to lock up, causing her to lose all control. Elaine jumped up, Sid attempting to fill her in on what was happening. “Take your foot off the gas! Hold the steering wheel as best you can,” she instructed, her voice as calm as possible. Sid followed her lead, the jerking getting more violent. Sid was considering jumping out of the car if it meant saving their lives but held on and tried holding the steering wheel as steady as possible.

Within a split second, the car seemed to adopt a mind of its own, the front wheels turning ever so slightly and propelling the front hood straight into a tree. The impact wasn’t hard enough to set off the airbags, but it was still jarring, leaving Sid momentarily stunned.

“Are you okay?” Elaine asked, reaching over to unbuckle Sid’s seatbelt and simultaneously examining her.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?” Elaine chuckled at her effort to check on her in disregard to herself. They got out of the car, gathering the backpack and their phones before getting a safe distance away from the car in case anything caught fire. Sid looked at her phone, hardly expecting anything to work out in her favor at this point.

No reception.

“Looks like we won’t be calling for help any time soon.” Sid threw her hands up in defeat, regretting her beverage choice as the sun slowly started rising, the rays grasping at them through the canopy above their heads.

“I guess our getaway is going to be longer than we thought,” Elaine realized, hardly able to contain the laugh building in her throat. It was the only thing they could do, considering the fact that they had no way of fixing their current situation without some kind of miracle.

As if on cue, the sound of tire against gravel alerted them just up ahead, Sid stepping out onto the makeshift road in an attempt to get a closer look. She noticed the headlights first, breathing a sigh of relief as a sleek black car pulled up to them. Sid recognized it as a Mercedes SUV, somewhat resembling a Jeep.

She couldn’t help but think of how unusual it was that someone with such a fancy, high-end car was out here in the middle of nowhere. Their only saving grace, no less. Elaine pulled Sid behind her, stepping up to the car herself. She was determined to get a good look at the driver and determine whether she would ask for help or let them pass. Especially way out here, there was no telling what people were up to, especially when they were the only other people on the road for miles.

A lanky man stepped out of the car, not looking to be much older than Sid. He wore what looked like a butler suit, not a wrinkle in sight. His sandy brown hair sat perfectly on his head, a single swirl held together with a precise amount of styling gel. He was clearly a man of presentation, down to the name tag pinned to his vest.

WINSTON, it read.

“Excuse me, sir. Do you have a cell phone?” Elaine expected him to answer but he just looked at them, going back and forth from Sid to Elaine as if he were deciding something. Her question didn’t even seem to phase him. Sid stepped forward, wanting to ask again on the off-chance that he hadn’t heard her.

“Sir, do you think we could borrow your cell phone? We had an accident and we need to call for help, if you don’t mind.” He didn’t acknowledge her either and it was apparent that he had no intentions of listening to what they had to say. He continued his observation ruse for what seemed like an eternity, his movements almost robotic.

Just as Elaine prepared to pull Sid away and leave their survival up to God and the care package she was grateful her husband prepared long ago, Winston spoke.

“We’ve been expecting you.”