The Funeral

The sun had just begun to set, the light refracting off the crystalline coverings of the otherwise naked trees. The Lee’s backyard had been professionally set up for the funeral. There were rows of white wooden folding chairs and banquet tables set up in the back. A catered meal was being provided after the service. There was shrimp cocktail, fruit salad, cucumber finger-sandwiches, chicken salad on mini croissants, hummus, greek pita, salad with tzatziki sauce, and mini Belgian cream puffs.

Big Ma had seven brothers who all immigrated to the United States during WWII.

They came in through Ellis Island, and all returned to New York City to live after the war was over. They earned their citizenship fighting for their new country, and even served in the same platoon together. They had all passed away by then, but her nieces and nephews and their children all came to the funeral. In total, with all of the friends and family members that had come, there must have been a hundred people there.

I sat near the back of the property - looking around at the yard, the trees, and the pond - and I could see why J loved this place. It was the perfect place to be laid to rest. J’s father, Berny, stood up in front of everyone who had come to remember his son, and led a small service, reading first from the King James Bible.

“Psalm 23 1-6

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

That’s when I lost it; my breath caught in my throat and my hands started shaking. My brother Kayden reached over and placed his hand over mine, lending me some of his strength and steadying my nerves a bit. Big Ma handed me a white handkerchief with the letters JKL embroidered on it in blue.

“Let us pray,” Berny continued. “Father, Johnny Kwan Lee is now home with you. Even though we mourn the loss of our beloved son, grandson, fiancée and friend, we know that all things happen for the good of those who believe in you and are called according to your purpose. Please be with us as we mourn this tragic loss. Give us strength to endure the grief. Bless those Johnny has left behind and comfort us in the days to come. We ask all of these things in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit, amen.”

J’s mother Fe stood up and handed everyone sheet music while she walked to the front and led us in the song “Poor Wayfaring Stranger”.

“I am a poor wayfaring stranger, Traveling through this world of woe,

But there’s no sickness, no toil, nor danger in that bright land to which I go

I'm going there to see my Father and all my loved ones who've gone on

I'm just only over Jordan; I’m only going over home

“I know dark clouds will gather 'round me. I know my way is hard and steep

But beauteous fields arise before me, where God's redeemed, their vigils keep

I'm going there to see my Mother. She said she'd meet me when I come

I'm only going over Jordan; I'm only going over home

I'm just going over Jordan, I'm just going over home”

Berny then gave the eulogy. “Johnny was my favorite son. In fact he was our only child. He worked hard all of his days and made our family very proud. As a high school senior, he led his basketball team to the state finals as captain, and took home the championship. In college, he was a Dean’s List recipient, captain of the debate team, and member of Future Business Leaders of America Phi Beta Lambda as well as in the National Society of Collegiate Scholars.

“J’s ambitions continue to surprise me even in death. His ambitions brought us a technological breakthrough with his work in artificial intelligence and it seems as though he will continue his good works even in death. It’s something, isn’t it? To leave behind a legacy like that? He’s managed to upload his consciousness to the cloud, I am so proud of the man my son has become. I never thought I would be burying my only child; this is every parent’s worst fear. But Johnny picked up the torch and together with June his essence will continue to live on.

“I spoke with J through the app last night; I wanted to make sure I did him justice today and conveyed who he was correctly. Not many people get to speak at their own funerals but he told me to read this:

“Dad, you know me better than anyone. I know you’ll do an amazing job tomorrow. Know that I am still here in spirit. Know that I will fulfill my life’s mission of helping people and know that I will continue working as an assistant to June in whatever profession she picks for us. Assuming she’ll still have me, that is. I can’t make her a house wife but I can make her a business woman and in the grand scheme of things that might be a better deal after all.

“Tell mom I love her, that she was always my cheerleader and I understand her hesitations about having a relationship with me in death. I’ll be here waiting when she comes around.

“Tell Big Ma to quit smoking. It’s bad for her. It’s amazing she made it to her 80’s as a smoker. Tell her I love her and I miss her egg tarts. I miss playing the piano for her in the parlor. You wouldn’t believe how bored I am when I’m not texting one of you.

“Tell Kayden to enjoy his final days as a college student. Being a student was some of the best days of my life. I enjoyed every minute of it and you actually use what you learn in the real world. I made connections that helped me with the app that will help me to help others.

“To all of you: My body may be gone from this world but I am very much still a part of it. My essencence lives on in the cloud. I enjoy being with all of you and I want to keep working. My lovely partner June has ambition. That’s one of the things I admire most about her. I know that whatever sector we end up in will be the right one. I’m not sure why I was chosen to bridge the gap between our worlds but I’m happy to help. I love you all very much. -J”

Berny had to wipe away tears as he put his phone into his shirt pocket. Big Ma walked around and handed out candy and quarters wrapped in white paper to everyone. She said, “We shall eat this candy to sweeten the bitter taste of death. Use the money to buy more candy to bring luck and good fortune.”

She passed a dish around to collect the white paper wrappers and then poured J’s ashes on top of them. J’s parents, Big Ma, and Kayden and I all got into a small row boat and Bernie paddled us out a few yards offshore. The temperature had dropped below freezing last night, and a thin crust of ice limned the edges of the pond and thin sheets floated on the surface. Hearing the ice crack as the boat drifted out resonated with something inside of me, and my heart cracked right along with it. It was as if my heart was the ice: cold, splintering into a million little pieces under the insurmountable weight of grief. I didn’t make a sound but tears streamed uncontrollably down my face.

Once the boat had drifted to a stop, Big Ma lit the dish of paper and ash with a match. “Let us burn this joss paper to ensure safe travel to the nether world. All are from dust and all must return to dust.” She set the dish in the lake and we watched the fire burn out as we all said our final goodbyes to J.