The Devil and the Debutant

The green ethereal glow that the moon cast through the polluted fog cast Lord John in a wicked light and Jane found herself looking at demon. ‘Her demon’ she thought as her stomach flipped and fluttered under his smoldering stare. She couldn’t tell if he was angry with her for her boldness or driven mad by it. She had never seen a lustful look cross a man’s face, but her primitive instincts knew, and they begged to have more than just that look. There were no words for what she was experiencing, and no one had told her the smoldering side to romance.

She blushed and finally looked away. If she was going to be drug home, there would be no hope of fanning the flames of whatever was starting to smolder in her. She would have to marry the duke or someone else her mother found worthy and obtainable. She tried to dismiss all those feelings of anguish and oppression she was experiencing. She hadn’t know how to be a stowaway or how she would survive later, but she knew too that she would not make a good wife. In either capacity she had felt doomed, but the weight and price of comfort was one she no longer felt comfortable paying.

A life of improvised freedom had felt like the better choice. With Lord John so near her notions of escape seemed silly. She felt as ridiculous as she had when she was a child and it had become apparent to her there was no true comfort for her. There were only choices between evils and she must navigate what evils she could tolerate and which she could use to elevate her away from more intolerable evils.

What she wanted just then would cast her into the abysses of hell. There would be no escape, there would be no tolerable circumstances, there would be no hope for comfort ever again. She would be ruined, but would that matter if she could possibly taste haven? She could feel the electricity of it’s enticing promise and it was almost enough to entice her into destitution. Almost enough.

Jane swallowed her wants, “Lord John, the price has been paid. Will you kindly take me close to home?” she looked through her lashes wishing that he would say no. She silently wished he would kiss her or tell her to board the ship, while she waited for his answer.

He looked as if he would say something on the matter, but not anything she would enjoy. Fear of rejection and loss of her newfound obsession emboldened her to blurt out, “Please do not renege on your promise. I doubt you want to compromise me, so please let us depart.”

He paused a moment the lust completely wiped from his eyes. Resignedly, he raised his arm to point out his carriage, “very well, Miss Auckaland, my carriage is just there, will you fallow me?”

She wanted to follow him everywhere, but the question gave her a moments pause. She didn’t really want to go home, so a deplorable idea met her lips before she could dwell on the consequences, “If I give you a better kiss would you be willing to forget more?” her question came out probing and innocent.

The lords eyes nearly popped from his head in shock and then his lids lowered to hood his gaze. Debauched thoughts swarmed through him. Thought he worried would be readable and did not want to scare the chit with. She was bold but clearly innocent. All Jane saw was his jaw twitch and she read it as anger when he sternly suggested, “I think we should be off!”

Jane felt her face grow hot with embarrassment. Of course, she thought to herself, he would not think her in the way she was feeling for him. The feelings she felt her stomach were her own machinations and humiliation flooded her. She chided herself for being so stupid while she meekly fallowed him back to his carriage. Jane clambered in; deciding that this was the death of her hopes and dreams. It was time to stop being so petulant and do as her mother said.

The ride was silent till nearly the end when Lord John asked out of the blue, “Why were you trying to stowaway?”

Janes cheeks flushed red again. Her heart raced at the confrontation and the possibilities of how he might respond to her answers. She decided to answer honestly, “My mother wants to me marry the duke of Portland and I am not sure I am fit to be his wife.” She cringed at how terrible she sounded, but the words were out and she braced herself for his response.

It dawned on Lord John that the woman before him had no idea who he really was. He arched an eyebrow. He was giddy with the thought of this. “Why ever not?” he asked genuinely curious.

She looked at her hands. What could she say to make the lord understand? Nothing really. Anything that she could conjure to explain to him seemed so idiotic to their way of life. He would never understand, still she tired to explain, “I can’t help that I am unlady like and I crave adventure,” she hesitated, knowing this was not explaining the full spectrum of what she wished to convey. She sucked in breath, “I know what is expected of me. I… I Just,” she couldn’t find words. She would be foolish to him anyways and decided it was better to be silent.

The quiet passed on with only the clop, clop, clop for hooves on cobblestones before Lord John broke it again, “If you are so averse to the Duke then why were you trying to sneak onto his ship?”

It was her turn to have her eyes pop open. “That was the dukes ship?!”

“Indeed, it was,” Lord John answered amused.

She covered her mouth with her hands, “I had no idea. I was told…” she cut herself off realizing she was about to relieve her partners in crime and became quiet again. She dropped her hands to her lap feeling ever the naive stupid chit. She chastised herself even more. There was so much she had yet to understand.

The black velvet curtains in the carriage had been drawn making it hard for Jane to decipher where she was, but the carriage was slowing and so she figured she was on the outskirts of her neighborhood, a safe distance from her home and their agreed upon location. She just prayed no one recognized her in her strange garb. She could just imagine the gossip on all fronts especially when she stepped out of a lords carriage. She was just thankful she was not in her usual more identifiable garb.

She went to open the door just as the vehicle came to a stop. She was encumbered by Lord John grabbing her arm. He tugged her close and pulled her into a searing kiss. Their lips met with searing heat and Janes body melted with lust.

She was tasting heaven when the door swung open and she heard her mother’s shrill voice, “Jane Auckuland! What are you doing?!”

Heaven quickly turned to ash.