The Day The Sky Turned Black

This is my final letter before the last nuke hits before the sky turns completely black and all I see is fire and darkness.

As I wander around this wasteland, I can't help but wonder who would ever want to destroy everything around them. Why would world leaders want to start a third world war? All I see when I walk around this wasteland is destruction, young men thrown into a war to die for leaders who never cared about them - a true waste of life. I say this because when this nuke hits, most of the population will die, and only the rich and powerful will survive. As it hits, I know I will still be walking this wasteland alone, dying alone with the ghosts of the dead around me.

I left my family and home thinking I was going to be a hero like in the movies, but after being in war for three years, I understand that I am far from being a hero. People often want to be a warrior until they realize the cost that comes with it.

Growing up, I always believed that the apocalypse was make-believe, like a fairytale. But now, I realize that the apocalypse is very much real. I am walking in it right now, seeing the burned ground, dead trees, dead bodies, and a dark sky.

I really miss my whole family. When I got drafted into this, they were all very upset. Nobody wanted me to go, and I didn't want to go either. I wanted to be at home playing make-believe war in my room on Call of Duty. I wanted to be a video game developer, be part of creating something beautiful. But instead, I am going to be part of history. What a world we live in, where we end up in situations we never wanted to be in. My father always told me that is part of being a man.

I never thought I would have this type of experience - I never thought I would have to kill a man, and I never thought I would have to run away in fear of dying. I never thought I would feel like a coward, a loser. I never thought I would die feeling like this. But is this feeling more common than most people think? Do a lot of soldiers feel like this? I don't even want to write my own name down. I can't. I'm too much of a coward. I probably couldn't even look at my own face in the mirror.

I wish I knew what I was fighting for - probably then I would feel a bit better about dying by a darn nuke. I was never one to follow the news and politics. It was too much for my brain to handle, too much something-something type of stuff. Who cares to follow that? I guess I was too busy trying to get a nuke in Call of Duty.

I don't know why I am writing this. It is just going to get burned up once the nuke hits. I guess I just want to be able to process myself being burned up by the nuke. It is going to be like I never existed, like I was just lost in time. And in the next life that comes after me, no one will ever remember this war happened. I will have no one to ever know who I was. It's very sad if you deeply think about it.

Walking a wasteland alone gives you a weird feeling. Imagine only seeing the dead, but so numb to it, it doesn't even affect you. Imagine not seeing animals, bugs, not even a fly. It's like you're the only person to exist in the whole world. You forget you exist in a way. I guess there is beauty to it - trying to find the beauty in the wasteland. Probably just me trying to stay optimistic.

Well, I guess there isn't much else to say except that I miss my family and friends, and I wish I was with them when the nuke comes. But instead, I will be walking the wasteland of the dead, and when the sky turns fully black, I will stare straight into the darkness and whisper "Beautiful."

THE END