The Crooked Coronation Crown Calamity
More Fool I
Henry IV had taken the throne from King Richard II, using a small force to overpower England overnight.
If he can do it, why can’t I?
It started as a silly bet in a tavern. Who had the gall to steal a crown from a King’s head, just as Henry had?
I had brashly volunteered, beer bravely bubbling in my belly.
More fool I.
A peasant like me couldn't get into the cathedral and thus, I required a plan of stealth.
I followed a boastful knight from the tavern one night. He staggered back to his land stupidly before collapsing. I stole his armor and with that, I had my disguise.
The way out was more complex. How to escape the cathedral carrying the crown? That would take more…muscle.
That’s how I found myself desperately sweating behind a cathedral curtain, suit of armor heavy on my shoulders and soon-to-be King but meters away – hopelessly hitting the crown with a mallet.
I honestly expected the metal to be softer!
King Henry was adorned with a crooked crown that day – and I traded my iron armor for a steel cage.
More fool I.
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Comments (4)
TWW, this was great! It was comedic, tragic and tense! I can imagine some poor drunk soul attempting this but becoming a legend because the king's crown is forever changed! Plus I love the imagery that feeds into a metaphor with this piece, the king wearing a literally crooked crown symbolic of him being crooked himself in having stole it! Such fantastic writing! Loved it! 💜
Hahahahahaha this was hilarious! Why would he think that it was soft 🤣🤣🤣 Also, I like how this was inspired by true events!
Love this and the context behind it! Witty and very entertaining!
I want to elaborate that this is actually inspired by an actual heist that happened in England when Charles II's crown jewels were stolen by an Irishman. He sawed the scepter in half, stuffed the orb down his trousers and...he crushed the crown with a mallet. Unlike my hero, the Irishman was pardoned and actually gifted land for his sheer ambition!