The Cooking Robot

C.H.E.F was created with one clear purpose, to cook.

A sentient machine, originally created for the sole purpose of passing butter. She was redesigned as both house cleaner and robot, like Rosie from the Jetsons. C.H.E. F’s was more advanced than other cooking robots with her life-like moments and trademark voice. Her complex 'emotion engine’ gave her the unique trait of gratitude. Her master, Steve, done so much for her. It was about time she, as the humans said, 'return the favor'.

"Searching for recipes," C.H.E.F said as she searched through her database. Her A.I was an infinite labyrinth of different foods and recipes. It didn't take long to find the food item she was looking for.

Cake: A bread like food made from a dough or batter that is either friend or baked. They consist of eggs, flour, sugar, and other ingredients. Cakes are a wonderful way to express appreciation and gratitude towards someone.

After reading this, C.H.E.F knew what to do. She woke up at 6:00 AM and headed straight towards the kitchen. Her workplace and home rolled into one. A simple but homely kitchen that any human could enjoy. Far more concerned with substance then style. Many great meals were made in this kitchen. But this one was different. C.H.E.F downloaded a cake simple recipe into her mainframe.

This would be, as the humans said, 'a piece of cake'.

Robots were in many ways superior then humans. They have superhuman memory, infinite energy, and never make mistakes. But humanity would always triumph in the end. Why's that? Because computers and robots didn't posess one simple thing.

Common sense.

Step 0: Make sure to follow every recipe from scratch. Following a sequence is super important in cooking.

C.H.E.F scratched itself all over before going ahead to step 1. She didn't need to scratch but rules are rules.

Step 1: Beat the eggs.

C.H.E.F took out a pair of spiked knuckles she was saving for later. She placed the eggs on the countertop and punched them with all her might. The egg yolk splattered across the room. She even made a few dents on the countertop. But that didn't matter, the cake did.

Step 2: Whip the cream

C.H.E.F brought out a whip that would make Indiana Jones jealous. A coarse brown whip made from the finest leather. She poured the cream carton on the floor and whipped it hard. The carton flew all over and cream poured all over the floor. What a violent recipe.

Step 3: Cream butter and sugar with mixer until fluffy.

C.H.E.F applied the butter and sugar all over her face. It wasn't much use since she didn't have any skin. She used the mixer to spread them until she felt fluffy, whatever that meant.

Step 4: Mix all the ingredients together.

C.H.E.F suctioned all the spilt cream and eggs with her in built vacuum cleaner. Some of it got mixed with the dirt from yesterday's cleaning. She placed the remaining ingredients on the bowl without opening the packets.

Step 5: Cook in preheated 350-degree oven for 35 to 40 minutes.

C.H.E.F put in her disaster of a cake into the oven. Everything was fine until her supersonic radar perked up. Steve woke up early and was coming to the kitchen in 10 minutes. C.H.E.F raised the temperature to 2450 degrees and waited for five minutes. Basic unitary method.

Last step: Congratulations, you made a cake! You are a smart cookie.

C.H.E.F scratched her chin. How was she a cookie when she was a robot? Since when did cookies become smart? What a strange recipe. First the violence, then the cream, and now the smart cookie. Next time, she'll download a cake recipe that made more sense.

"What happed to my kitchen!" shouted Steve.

Steve was this close to having a heart attack. Shattered plates, broken cupboards, dirt all over the place. The oven burst into flames, activating the fire alarm sprinkler. Unknown stenches overwhelmed the room once filled with rich aromas. Did a minature hurricane attack his kitchen? Not even a month’s cleaning could salvage this place. C.H.E.F approached his master, perfectly unaware of the damage she caused.

"Good morning master," C.H.E.F said. She removed the cake from the oven without turning it off. " Here is your cake."

Steve saw the cake that resembled a lump of coal. He poked it hoping it would at least feel like a cake. It didn't. Steve swatted the cake out of C.H.E. F’s robot arms. The cake stuck on the ceiling, not like that matters anymore.

"Damn it, the machine must be busted," Steve said, wailing his arms all over. " Spent 338,000 dollars on a robot that can't even bake a cake. I knew a cooking robot was too good to be true.

"But Master, I made you a cake. Do you not like cake?"

"Of course, I do, cake is the best," he said. "Why did you even bake me a cake anyways? I didn't program it into your schedule."

"I wanted to thank you for being such a great master. This was my way of expressing it to you. The human word for it is gratitude."

Steve's eyes bulged out. " You made this cake without taking orders. With your own free will?

"Yes Master, I made this cake on my own free will. I'm sorry for going against my custom programming. Please forgive me."

Steve's legs shivered as he realized what was going on. The robots were taking over.

How else would he explain this? His beautiful kitchen now turned into smithereens. The robot was playing innocent, but he knew better. C.H.E.F was a perfectly normal cooking robot until now. Robots and free will were two things that didn't go together, like yogurt and chocolate. He's watched enough sci fi movies to understand what's going to happen.

Steve picked up the spike knuckles and whip off the ground. What he was doing wasn't technically against the law. Robots don't have a life to begin with.

"C.H.E. F, I'm so happy you made this cake for me," said Steve. " Can you turn around so I can thank you for it."

"Ok master," C.H.E.F said as she turned around. She thought the good times she had with Master stored in her mainframe. "I love you master,"

"I love you to C.H.E.F," Steve said as he took in a deep breath.

Steve used the whip to tie up C.H.E.F. The less she struggled, the better. He took out a screwdriver and began unscrewing the robot. Once that was done, the mainframe box opened. This tiny piece of software had all C.H.E. F’s memory and existence written on it. Steve equipped spiked knuckles to shatter the mainframe. It's been a while since he went boxing. He punched it until it shattered like glass. Not unlike the devastating state of his once beloved kitchen.

C.H.E.F the cooking robot has baked her last cake. She made it with the most important ingredient, love.