The Colours We Share

Marisol sat patiently on her egg, waiting for her final hatchling to emerge. It was day 28, and this was her last of the season. Two of her brood had already hatched, but this little one was taking her own sweet time. Shortly after the white egg finally cracked its shell, the tiny black beak breaking through to free itself, a near-naked downy chick emerged. Marisol had birthed three eggs this time, but only Arie and her brother Mateo survived. Marisol and her mate Pablo took turns feeding and tending the chicks, teaching them how to survive and care for themselves in the pristine, unspoiled forest they called home.

*

Rosie’s baby girl screamed as the doctor suctioned her mouth, wiped her clean, and laid her on her mother’s chest. Her wails soon turned to contented gurgles when she was covered in a warm white blanket and felt her mom’s soothing embrace. “Welcome to the world, Scarlet," Rosie softly cooed. Her name had been decided long before her birth, borrowed not from the character in the famous novel but the scarlet macaw. It was the most beautiful bird her mother had ever seen, in the most exquisite place she had ever visited. The majestic, vibrant beauty soaring with grace above the perfect, unblemished landscape of Honduras, it was there, where her parents celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary. It was there where Scarlet was conceived.

A tear formed in her mother's eye as she held her newborn daughter. To Rosie, Scarlet was the most beautiful girl in the world, the most perfect creature she had ever seen. The love Rosie felt for her newborn daughter was a love she never knew was possible. She promised her baby that she would love and protect her always and that she would teach her to love and protect herself. For surely, amongst all the good people and wonderful moments that she would encounter on her journey through life, there would also be bad. Scarlet would need to know how to take care of herself.

****

Arie squawked and fidgeted as her Mom attempted to clean the remnants of lunch off her face and preen her newly grown feathers. Her normally white face patch was stained from the fruits and berries she devoured, and there was that one stubborn yellow feather on her wing that wouldn't stay in place. Arie didn’t care, though. She and Mateo were just learning to fly independently and were enjoying their time out of the nest. Mateo had already gone ahead without her, so Arie was anxious to get out there too and continue their game of chasing each other around the trees.

"Sit still," her Mom scolded. "I know you want to play, but we have to get you cleaned up first." As an Ara Macao, Arie had been told that she must always present herself as the vibrant, majestic creature she is, the most beautiful bird in the forest. Once she was done preening, her Mom set her free to find her brother, but with a warning. "Be careful, Arie, my darling. Remember what I told you and Mateo about wandering too far?" "Yes Mama, I will," was her reply. Arie lived in a protected area of the Honduran rainforest, nesting high in the canopy. She knew not to leave their territory, as scary monsters were at the edge of the forest. Monsters with big machines cutting down trees and monsters with blue and red sacks and boxes would steal Arie away from her family if they caught her. Arie was young, not more than a baby, really, but she knew not to go anywhere near the edge of the forest.

*

Scarlet sat in the airport, wearing her favourite yellow dress, talking with her Mom while awaiting her flight to Calgary. She was 22 years old and was heading out on her own for the first time. She knew she would miss her home and even more so her mom, but there were no jobs and no future in Newfoundland. Having recently completed college, she had applied for and received an internship at a new technology start-up in Alberta. She was eager to get started, excited about the new job and looking forward to seeing her dad again. He had been living in Calgary for the past ten years since his breakup with her mother. She would stay with him when she arrived, at least until she became financially able to move out on her own.

Scarlet was devastated when her parents split up, convinced it was somehow her fault. No amount of assurance from her mom or her dad would soothe her in the beginning. She eventually came to accept the separation and excitedly anticipated her yearly vacation to visit him. Now she would be going to stay. Now, she would be starting a new life in a new province. Now, the world was her oyster. When the time came to board the airplane, her mother kissed her on the cheek and told her, “Go conquer the world, my darling, but remember to always take care of you, and always be open to love."

****

Arie felt a thud that knocked the wind out of her as she fell crashing to the ground. Stunned, shaken, and unsure of what happened, she turned to survey her surroundings. It was then she heard Mateo’s scream. Just before she lost consciousness, she again heard Mateo's panicked squawking as he struggled with the monster before escaping through the dense brush. As he was flying away, he screamed to their parents for help and screeched to Arie that he would find her.

When she awoke, Arie found herself trapped in a box. She furiously tried to break free, terrified and enraged with these horrible monsters that were destroying her home and stealing her kind. She was irate with Mateo for leading them so close to the forest's edge. Arie cried in desperation. She felt guilty for being mad at Mateo. It wasn't really his fault. She could have chosen not to follow. He did say he would come back for her during his escape. In a futile attempt to free herself, Arie ferociously pecked and scratched so much that her beak and her toes were stained red with blood.

*

Scarlet was seething red when she left her office for the last time. She couldn't believe she'd just been terminated. She'd worked for the company for 16 years, and now for the first time since leaving home, she was unemployed. They had an excuse, a very lame excuse in Scarlet's view. "Downsizing," they told her. "Nothing personal, Scarlet." "Business has been very slow this year." What angered her most was that she was sure it was a lie. Co-workers, who had been with the company years less than her, were kept on while she was let go. She was sure that she was fired for taking time off to spend with her father, who had just suffered a stroke. Just last year, Scarlet was forced to take an unscheduled absence due to her Mom’s illness and subsequent death.

Her mom’s cancer diagnosis was agonizing for Scarlet, like a punch in the stomach. Rosie didn’t tell her right away, as she didn’t want to worry her. When it became evident that the disease was terminal, only then did she tell her daughter about her condition. Scarlet immediately flew home to spend time with her Mom before she passed, having to add an extra three weeks of bereavement leave to her vacation time. Now, just over a year later, once again, she had to take time off work to be with her dad. Although the management tried to act sympathetic, Scarlet knew they were annoyed with her absence. They fired her just two weeks after her return.

Scarlet decided to give up her apartment and move in with her father. His stroke had left him partially paralyzed; he could no longer climb stairs, so they would have to sell the house and buy a condo. She immediately put his home on the market and found a nice place just north of the city. It was a beautiful building with floor-to-ceiling windows that backed onto a wooded ravine. She was sure her dad would be happy here. When they got settled in, Scarlet would search for a full-time caregiver and another job.

After unpacking her dad’s closet, Scarlet stepped onto the balcony to finish her morning coffee and enjoy some fresh air. She was jolted by a familiar sound, a squawk that she had not heard since her last visit to Honduras with her mother many years ago. It was a scarlet macaw, her namesake, sitting in a bronze cage on the balcony diagonally across from her. Her heart sank at the sight. Her parents told her many times of their first trip to Honduras on their 5th anniversary and that she was named after that bird. Scarlet had been there herself three times in her young life. She knew these gorgeous creatures were legal to own in Canada but wished they weren't. They didn't belong here, trapped in cages. They should be flying free in their homelands.

****

Arie pined for her family as she looked longingly through her cage on the balcony. Her humans thought she would enjoy some time outside, now that summer had arrived. She could watch the animals play on the grass and jump through the freshly renewed green trees. She could listen to the birds singing their joyful songs before spreading their wings and soaring effortlessly in the bright blue sky. The humans thought she would love to smell the wildflowers and feel the warmth of the sun on her body. But Arie wanted none of it.

She was depressed. Sitting out there in a cage, watching all those happy, singing birds fly, only made her yearn more for her freedom and her home. She could see the trees, but she could not climb on them. She could see the birds but could not stretch her own wings and soar. She could only watch with envy. It didn’t matter how kind her humans were. It didn’t matter how many delicious treats or how many fun toys they gave her. It didn’t even matter that it felt good when they pet her.

The only thing that would make Arie happy would be to go back home. She cried daily for her brother Mateo, wondering what happened on that fateful day when the monsters trapped her. Did he and their parents look for her? Would he ever come to find her, as he said he would? Arie's heart ached every time she thought of her family, knowing how much they must miss her.

*

Scarlet sat in the driver’s seat of her green Volkswagen crying. She had just come from her fourth interview this week, and once again, she would not be offered the position. It had been five years since she lost her last full-time job. She didn't even bother to look for another, choosing instead to work part-time and help take care of her dad. She hired a home care aide to come while she was at work to help with daily activities. Now, the insurance money had run out, and she could no longer afford full-time in-home care. If she didn’t find a new job, it would be up to Scarlet to take care of him herself. Medicare would only pay for a PSW twice per week. Her father was always a proud man. He would not be happy with his daughter helping him wash and dress.

The Halloween party looked great on Instagram. It was the first one Scarlet missed in 10 years, but she couldn’t leave her Dad alone all night. The pics of all her friends enjoying themselves, all the happy couples with matching costumes made her think of her mother's words when she first left home "always be open to love." Scarlet laughed it off at the time. She was young and was too busy starting a new career to worry about marriage. The one man she did allow herself to get close to broke off their engagement when she refused to move to London with him. She thought about him now and then, wondering if he'd ever married. Sometimes Scarlet wished she had made a different decision all those years ago. How would her life look now if she had taken that plunge? She learned too late that time waits for no one. Before Scarlet could blink, she was 50, single, and spending most of her time with her father. Instead of partying with her friends, she was drinking her wine alone and clicking “likes” on their pictures.

****

Arie sat in the glass box, wondering where she was and how she got here. She was in a large room, with other animals in glass boxes and humans in blue uniforms who poked and prodded her and collected her poop. She didn't have a window anymore or a balcony, but at least she was no longer cold. The last thing she remembered was shivering in her cage when she fell off her perch. Arie had plucked most of her feathers over the past few years. The striking beauty of her plumage was reduced to a few patches on her back and some blue tufts on her wings. Her humans made her sweaters in an attempt to keep her warm, but even they weren't helping anymore. Most days, she sat on her perch, shivering, her sadness visible in her faded yellow eyes. She had long given up on going home to her family, knowing the dream would never be realized. Oddly now, though, she missed her human family. She was here in this room with strangers, and she didn’t know why.

What she did know was that she had been feeling very ill lately. She had no appetite, had lost weight, and sometimes was too weak to even play with her toys or squawk at the new bird her humans brought home a few months back. "Maybe they don't want me anymore," Arie thought. The humans had a new macaw now, much smaller than her with beautiful colours like she used to have. “Maybe that is why I am in this place because I am old and ugly."

Arie didn't realize that she was at the vet's office, where her humans had taken her. She did know that she was near the end of her life. She could feel it. Arie once again began to dream of her homeland and of the family she left behind. It took her a very long time to accept that she would never see them again, that most of her life would be spent in a cage. Now, she knew that she would never see her humans again either. She knew that this place, inside this warm glass box, was where she would die. Arie smiled when she realized what that meant, that she would finally be free.

*

Scarlet poured herself another glass from the blue wine decanter. She had been home, taking care of her father for eight years, and she needed this nectar to get her through the day. Her dad had weakened considerably in the last few months. Medicare allowed him PSW visits three times a week now, so at least it was a little more help. Most times, though, she was on her own.

She picked up her glass and walked out onto the balcony to get some fresh air. As she looked across to the other wing, she noticed that she had not seen the familiar macaw on the balcony. Instead, there was a different one, a smaller one. She wondered what happened to the one she'd seen there for years, the one they recently dressed up in those stupid sweaters, and felt disgusted that now they had another one.

When she stepped back inside, she heard her dad call to help him to the bathroom. She laid her wine on the coffee table and headed toward his bedroom to get him into his wheelchair. Her father had long given up his aversion to his daughter being a caregiver. Heck, sometimes he didn’t even know she was his daughter. He had been diagnosed with dementia two years ago and was regressing rapidly.

After getting him seated on the toilet, Scarlet went back to the living room to have a sip of wine. She chuckled to herself when she picked up the glass, wishing it was a pair of glass slippers instead. This was her life now, spending most of her time with her father, wondering what could’ve been. She kept in touch with her friends on Facebook or occasionally met them for a coffee. She could never stay out long. Her dad needed her. Her friends had long stopped inviting her out as they knew she couldn’t come. Scarlet picked up her phone to receive a message from her friends enjoying a dinner party. She wished she could be with them but knew it was not possible. Scarlet knew that the only way for her to get back some semblance of normalcy, the only way for her to escape this glass box that her life has become, was for her dad to pass away. That’s the last thing she wanted. She shed a tear just thinking about it.

“I’m done," her father yelled, interrupting her thoughts. As she headed back down the hallway, she understood that this was her normal now. There would be no glass slippers, no handsome prince coming to rescue her, and there would be no happy ending, for Scarlet knew that life was not a fairy tale.