The case of the missing driver

My first moment was shrouded in prickling pain. The stabbing forced me to open my eyes and I became aware of a shuddering sound, as if I were tumbling through waves. I blinked and put my hand to my head.

“Ahh.” I groaned, taking in my strange surroundings. I was slumped on a plush red couch in a small compartment. The outside was pitch black but I could feel the speed of the train as it hurtled forwards. My hands were small and delicate, the skin around the thumb hardened. I blinked, clutching dark hair in one finger and noticing a pair of nondescript black trousers and a top. Where was I? More accurately, who was I?

I sat up, touching the pain on my head again. It was sensitive and even as I brushed the spot, a vivid image seared itself into my head. A train sitting at the platform, an old fashioned steamer. Dark and monstrous, those headlights like searing eyes…The name twisted from gold writing was Illicit.

Illicit. A train called Illicit. How could I remember that when I didn’t know my own name?

“My name is…” I tried to say. But there was nothing. A blank. I stared at the faint reflection of myself in the glass door to the compartment. Dark messy hair and a pale face. Small and bruised. What had happened?

I forced myself to my feet and I gasped as the room spun a little. I didn’t feel very good. A headache was beginning to pound in time with the chugging of the train. The compartment itself was a mess; the rich scent of wine was coming from a red stain on the other couch and a book had been thrown hastily aside.

I looked around for anything that could identify me…but there was nothing. The book was something mysterious by Dan Brown, who I somehow recognised…how strange.

I yanked open the glass door and peeked my head out into the corridor. I tensed at what I saw. It looked as if a hurricane had swept through the train. Broken glass was strewn about on the floor, drops of red clung to the glass doors of other compartments. I stepped out carefully, avoiding the glass as best I could. The bright lights hurt my already fragile head.

I walked down the corridor and I was sure I could hear voices coming from the distance. Who was that? Did I want to meet them? I was scared and I took a deep breath, my chest tight.

As I passed a compartment door, it swung open.

A man stood there. He was well dressed in a blue suit, his hair a dark blonde and his eyes a deep brown. He was pale and tired looking. I felt myself blush.

He stared at me, his mouth tightening. His hand rested on the door of the compartment as if he’d been caught doing something wrong.

“It’s you.” He said abruptly. He knew me!

“I-I…don’t know who I am.” I said. He opened his mouth and then shut it. “I just woke up and I was alone and my head hurts…I don’t know what’s going on.”

I began to shake, the shock of everything settling in my bones. The word Illicit flashed bright and golden in my head again. He took my hands.

“It’s okay.” He whispered and wrapped his arms around me. I couldn’t see his face. My body heated up.

“Who am I?” I asked, my voice cracking.

“You’re my wife.” He replied. “Esther Cole.”

I watched my so-called husband Joseph Cole and admired the way he cleaned up the compartment so I could sit down. There was something charming about him and when he smiled at me butterflies invaded my stomach. He took my hand in his and sat down.

But something was making me uncomfortable. He wasn’t familiar…but I’d just lost my memory. What amnesiac could be this lucky? I should stop complaining.

“I was looking for you.” He said, his eyes holding mine. I gulped. “I was worried…something bad has happened on this train.”

“What?” I asked. “Are other people losing their memory?”

“No.” He replied, touching my head where it hurt. I winced. “People are dying up and down the train. Sickness, confusion and then chest pain. We thought it could be a virus…but it’s too fast and it doesn’t fit. Some of the other passengers think that it’s murder.”

I couldn’t process what he had said for a second. Murder. Blood. Death. The chugging of the train sounded like a deep river dropping down into nothing…

“Esther.” He said, shaking me a little. “We need to get back to the others. I don’t want them to suspect us.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist and I allowed myself to be led out of the compartment and down the corridor. The sound of voices was getting louder. Joseph kissed me on the head and I smiled wanly. But I could feel the adrenaline pulsing in my veins...another image sprang into my head.

People smiled as they flashed their tickets at the conductor. I was walking down the corridor, dodging past men and women chatting as they put suitcases away…

A big glass door showed a bigger compartment to the left. Joseph pulled me closer to him and I thought he might kiss me…until he whispered in my ear.

“This is the compartment with some of the remaining passengers. They think the people further up have the murderer among them. Try and follow what I’m saying. I know you don’t remember but act like you do.” He brushed a hair from my face and watched me lovingly. The he let me go and slid open the door.

The group inside was a strange mix. An older woman draped in pearls and a dress that could possibly be Chanel sat beside a young couple who clutched each other nervously. A middle aged man sat calmly, perusing his paper. They stared as we came in.

“So you came back.” The older woman sneered. “And with your wife.”

“I thought she was made up.” The man said with a sly grin. He slid his eyes over my body and let out a low whistle. “But you’re 100% real, darling.”

I cringed, resisting the urge to back away from the creep.

Joseph scowled at the man and made sure I was next to him on the seats. I appreciated the gesture because my head was pounding even worse now. The chugging seemed to be speeding up slightly and my body was reacting to it…my heart beat faster in time.

“I’m Ariel Duval.” The older woman said proudly. “I’m travelling up from Bordeaux to Paris and thought I’d try the famous steam train. I’m a divorcée and I was dying to sample first class on Illicit. I suppose this is the first time you’ve been in the upper class carriage.”

She ran a condescending eye over my black clothes. But I wasn’t listening. Illicit. So I did remember something.

“Of course it isn’t.” Joseph snapped before I could reply. Ariel raised her expensive eyebrows.

“I’m Jamie and this is Kirsten.” The young man smiled at me. He was like an over-muscled child; his girlfriend in comparison was very small. She didn’t look well. “We’re travelling through Europe. We’re from Scotland.”

I smiled back and tried to be polite.

“I’m Esther.”

“So we’ve heard.” The creepy man drawled. He put his paper down. “I’m Peter Stewart. I work in the banking business.”

He grabbed my hand and kissed it. Joseph tensed beside me.

“How long have you been married for?” Peter asked.

“Eh…” I began and Ariel’s eyes narrowed.

“Speaking of that, where is your wedding ring?” She asked. Kirsten leaned forwards, her lips thinning as she looked at my hand. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. They all watched me suspiciously.

“She doesn’t wear it when travelling.” Joseph said smoothly, moving closer to me. “In case it gets lost. And we’ve been married for just over a year.”

Ariel nodded but she still looked suspicious. As did Kirsten.

“Anyway, Esther, we have a problem. People are dying all over the train.” Ariel said dramatically and Kirsten flinched.

“They’re vomiting and blood is coming from their nose. Some people are getting headaches before it.” Peter said. “Sounds like poison to me.”

I blocked out the image of dead bodies lying on plush red couches.

“It’s a terrorist attack. I’m sure of it.” Ariel continued. “Just like the ones in Paris.”

“It could be something in the food, Ariel-” Jamie interjected.

“-No, it’s murder. It’s that Abdul, that Iranian in the other compartment. I know it is. He’s probably with Isis.”

I forced myself to breathe and tried to block out Ariel’s ranting. This was insane. I couldn’t remember who I was but I knew that for a fact.

“We have to protect ourselves!” Ariel shouted. “Everyone else up there thinks he’s innocent. And there’s another thing. We’re going through the Loire tunnel and the train isn’t slowing down. The driver is missing.”

It was a tense night. I was wrapped in Joseph’s arms on a small bed, the clunking of the train keeping me awake.

“Shouldn’t we be looking for the driver?” I asked softly. His breath tickled my ear and want coursed through me. But the lack of a driver had been majorly bothering me. The train could crash!

“We will. But we can’t get past the other group to get to the front of the train.” Because Abdul was with them and Ariel was calling him a murderer. Joseph suddenly kissed me and the air went out of my lungs. He was a good kisser and we made out for a few minutes until his head lolled.

“Are you okay?” I asked, panicking. He shivered and then raised his head.

“I’m fine.” He said. “Just a bit dizzy…must’ve been you.”

Yeah right. I smiled at him even as my chest felt tight again. Why did I feel so unwell? Could Abdul have gotten to me as well?

Joseph had abandoned his suit jacket and I was snuggled beside him, feeling extremely happy for someone in this situation. I didn’t want this to end so I ignored the niggling at the back of my mind which whispered that this didn’t add up. I was a wife without a wedding ring and he’d said It’s you when he saw me…

I closed my eyes and dreamt of throttles and levers…

“Move the Johnson bar back towards vertical…open the throttle…” I-

A shriek pierced the night and we all jumped out of our beds. Joseph was in front of me, pulling open the door. Peter was in the corridor because he had chosen to go on watch duty first.

The sound came from Kirsten, who was coughing as she shook. She was further down in the compartment next to the big one.

“He-he…it’s the conductor…he…” She pointed and then doubled over coughing. A man was lying on the floor, his face grey and a stream of blood flowing from his nose. He was wearing a train conductor’s uniform.

His eyes met mine and there was a spark of knowledge because he seemed familiar. I leaned forwards, the room tilting around me, to speak to him. But even as his mouth opened to say something his sky blue eyes went blank. And death poisoned the room.

“Oh my god! Oh my…” Kirsten was sobbing. I felt numb. I couldn’t talk and I just stared at him. Who was once a person and now wasn’t. He looked like a zombie and I could feel my chest going so tight I couldn’t breathe.

“Abdul! It was him!” Ariel was ranting again and this was a nightmare…

“Come with me.” Joseph said softly and led me back to our room. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He hugged me for what seemed like hours but I knew it wasn’t okay. I felt as if a piece of me was gone and I didn’t know why.

I woke early in the morning and pulled myself away from Joseph who didn’t seem keen on letting me go. He held onto my hand in sleep until I had to pry him off. I touched my head and felt feverish. I staggered to the door and went into the corridor. I went still as I noticed that no one was on watch duty. Where was Ariel or Jamie?

I let out a ragged breath, trying not to think about the train conductor. I was sure I dreamed of him. Shouting in the dark of the tunnel we were racing through. I wondered how long it would take for us to burst into the light of day again and crash.

I walked down the corridor quietly until I got to Ariel’s room. I heard rustling and I peered through the crack in the door.

She stood in her stylish clothes with a closed expression on her face. A bag of something was in her hand and she opened a box with a key and placed the bag inside of it. The click of the lock seemed loud to me.

She glanced furtively around and I was still as a deer stalked by a hunter. Then she relaxed and closed her eyes for a moment. I quietly moved away before she caught me watching. Because there was very little doubt in my mind that Ariel was hiding something.

I took my chance whilst Kirsten was quietly crying in the big compartment.

“We need to take action.” Ariel said, her eyes frantic. Frantic about what, I wondered. “He’s going to kill everyone.”

“And how did the murderer pull off such a scheme?” Joseph asked quietly, his fists clenched. It had been a stressful night for him. He’d helped me and I knew it must be traumatic for him too. A light feeling burst through my worry. He cared about me.

“Poison, obviously.” Ariel snapped back. She looked a touch deranged this morning: her hair was half undone and her eyes were bloodshot.

Kirsten began crying into Jamie’s shoulder and I muttered something about a jacket in our room. Joseph grabbed my hand.

“Do you want me to come with you?” He asked, his dark eyes serious.

“No.” I replied with a smile. “I’ll be okay.”

Because the murderer might be right here.

I left the compartment and made my way to Ariel’s room. I staggered as I walked and steadied myself against the door. This was happening more and more. Maybe blood would be dripping from my nose…an image attacked my mind…The train conductor’s face warped and twisted into my own, dying, a throttle between my limp fingers…

I forced my way into Ariel’s room, breathing quickly. I couldn’t lose my mind right now. I had to figure out what was going on, I had to protect Joseph. I hunted for the box, pawing through fancy clothes and lipsticks.

I found the box and yanked on the lid. Locked. But the key was here somewhere…aha! I found it in one of her expensive bags. I slid it into the lock and the click made my hair stand on end. I would have to be careful. This stuff could be lethal if I even touched it. I eyed the bag inside and put on a glove.

Shaking, I opened the bag to look inside properly.

White powder.

“What are you doing?” A haughty voice demanded behind me. I whirled around, the glove still on my hand. She stood alone at the doorway, her face ashen.

“What is this?” I asked angrily, clenching my fists. If she wanted to kill me, she’d have a tough time getting to whatever this was.

“What do you think it is?” Her voice was shaking now. Her eyes were beginning to shine and a tremor was wracking her body.

“Poison.” I accused her. I felt lightheaded all of a sudden. “You’re the murderer.”

She laughed. She actually laughed.

“No, I’m not! That’s cocaine, stupid girl. It’s obviously cocaine. I’m…I’m carrying it, okay! I’m not…” She suddenly dissolved into sobs and my conviction was shattered.

She slumped down onto her bed and I hesitantly sat beside her. Tears were ruining the remains of her make-up.

“I’m not some wealthy divorcée.” She admitted. “I mean, I divorced my husband but I wasn’t left with very much. He was a waster and chasing after a younger teacher. I wanted to feel better and look better, especially after seeing them together…I was offered a deal by someone. I’m not naming names. But it pays a lot of money and no one ever thinks someone like me would be moving drugs. It’s just got a bit out of control.”

Extremely out of control, judging by the size of that bag. I patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

“You’re going to tell, aren’t you?” She looked so miserable that I didn’t know what to say. She would get jail time for this.

“Let’s deal with this train before thinking about that.” I replied.

“But you should watch that husband of yours.” She said suddenly. I stiffened. Joseph had been nothing but loyal and sweet. “He’s been very shifty, especially before he found you. His ticket said he had a wife but we didn’t believe it until you showed up. He was wandering around on his own a lot.”

“Joseph hasn’t done anything.” I snapped, irritated. Her teary eyes met my own.

“Are you sure? You’ve only known him a year. People aren’t always who you think they are.”

Watching her cry, I felt doubt creep into my heart.

I didn’t go back to the compartment. I went to our room and looked for the briefcase he brought with him. I could feel sweat dripping down my face and my breathes were becoming more and more ragged. Could Joseph have something to do with this? I had to find out.

I flipped up the locks on the briefcase, searching for my answer. Even as I opened the case, my head spun again.

Ahh…

“We’re going too fast, Lottie.”

Tómas was an old friend and the train conductor. I nodded when he told me. He was right. We were hurtling towards the Loire tunnel at breakneck speed.

“I’ll say to them.” I replied. “Did you throw that man off?”

I scowled, thinking of the blonde haired man who’d tried to swipe someone else’s ticket.

I’d caught him and Tómas had said he’d deal with him.

“He wouldn’t give me any information and I told him to get off.”

I sighed, knowing that the stowaway would still be on the train.

I started to shake as the memory faded. My name wasn’t Esther Cole. It was Lottie. Charlotte. And Joseph was a big fat liar.

I felt tears streaming down my face as I found an I.D hidden in the briefcase.

Andrew Hayes.

Liar. Murderer. I could still feel him kissing me. And Tómas…I doubled over and cried as grief washed over me. My friend, who I hadn’t recognised even when he was dying. The others had to know. Joseph-no, Andrew’s- face mocked me from the I.D. His smile was charming even in the photograph.

I stormed into the compartment to find chaos reigning supreme. Jamie was shouting and crying, Ariel was screaming Abdul’s name and Peter had something that looked suspiciously like a pipe in his hands. Andrew Hayes stood by helplessly and Kirsten lay on the ground, blood dripping from her nose.

“She’s dead!” Jamie was sobbing, his hands uselessly touching Kirsten’s hair. “She couldn’t breathe properly…”

“I’m going to kill that Iranian monster.” Peter growled and he stormed out of the compartment. Ariel followed after him and Jamie suddenly sat upright, his fist wrapped tight around Kirsten’s hair.

“I’m going to kill him.” He snarled.

“Wait!” I shouted. “Wait.”

But they didn’t listen. I shot a glare at Andrew Hayes and ran after them. They had to know it was him.

“Esther!” Andrew called after me. I followed the rest of them up the train, trying to stay away from him. I could feel the world spinning a little; I was getting ill too. I was going to die just like Kirsten. Oh god, I was going to die in the dark with these crazy people, never knowing who I really was-

-I halted.

A dark skinned man with glasses was holding up his hands as Peter took a swing at him.

“Stop! Arrête!” A French woman was screaming. “It is not him! Racists!”

“He’s a terrorist!” Ariel shouted. It was absolute chaos.

“He is not!” The French woman shouted again. “You are just raciste. He is not the murderer.”

“No, it’s not him, it’s Joseph!” I said but no one heard me. Jamie hurled himself into the fray and there were fists flying and pipes swinging. It was almost…as if they were going mad.

I whirled around to find him standing there.

“You think it’s me? Stop being stupid, Esther.” He pulled me away from them and I fought him.

“My name isn’t Esther.” I said, another tear dripping down my face.

He stopped trying to touch me and his voice cracked slightly.

“I know.” He said. I lifted the I.D and he winced.

“You’ve been lying to me, Andrew.” The chaos of the fighting was another world behind me.

He looked miserable as he faced me.

“I can explain everything.” He reached for me and I shook my head. The train went over a bump and I staggered. He caught my arm and I shook him free.

“Let go of me…let go..” I staggered again, from dizziness this time, and I fell over.

Bang. My head hit the floor.

“We need to slow down the train!”

“I know!” I snapped. I was panicking. Something was wrong. I was trying to slow down but it wasn’t working.

“The boiler might explode! Please.”

“I’m trying.” I said and finally I managed to slow us down a fraction. “We need to stop soon. There’s something wrong with the engine.”

Tómas burst in, shaking. I was watching the track and I saw us heading towards the entrance to the Loire tunnel. We were still going too fast.

“Shit!”

As we entered the tunnel there was a great bang and the train battered off the side of the tunnel. There was a ripping sound and bricks tumbled down behind us, blocking out the light. I was slammed against the side of the train, my head trickling blood.

“Ahh.” I groaned. Everyone else was groaning too.

“Lottie.” Tómas said, breaking the sound of Illicit struggling along.

“What?”

“The tunnel is blocked. The other end is sealed until we get near and signal. It’s really narrow. Lottie…this train runs on coal.”

I narrowed my eyes, understanding what he meant. Such a narrow space…it wouldn’t matter what speed we were going.

I opened my eyes, wincing at the pain. I could still hear the sound of wild animals or more accurately the sound of the passengers fighting.

“Esther!”

The voice was pleading. But my name wasn’t Esther.

I pushed myself to my feet and glared at Andrew. I didn’t even have time to be angry at him.

“I need to stop this train.” I said and went to go past him. This was my responsibility. And I’d majorly messed up. The train was going faster and faster because the engine was faulty. Who knew what workers were still even alive?

“What do you mean?” Andrew asked, brushing my head to see if I was okay.

“I’m the missing train driver.” I said. “I need to stop the train.”

I staggered down the train, knowing the effects of carbon monoxide poisoning would set in soon. The tunnel was so incredibly narrow that the coal would poison us and the other end was blocked. Most trains didn’t use this tunnel but Illicit had to be authentic. I had to warn the passengers. Tómas already felt ill. But my head was aching. I closed my eyes for a moment and my foot caught on the edge of a doorway. In one motion, I fell onto a red couch and my head banged off the wooden corner.

Everything faded into darkness.

I made my way to the driver’s cabin. No one was there. Maybe they were all…tears stung my eyes. No. I couldn’t think about that. Andrew followed behind me. I ignored him.

“But the murderer-”

“-There’s no murderer. Only carbon monoxide poisoning. We hit the edge of the tunnel coming in and sealed it. That means the carbon monoxide from the coal is building up. We’re also coming towards the exit and I haven’t signalled telling them to open it.”

“What do I do?” He asked and there was something steely in his voice. As if he understood situations like these.

“Hit that button, which signals for them to open the exit. I need to slow us down.”

I searched for the throttle and managed to use it to bleed the steam. It should’ve stopped the pistons which drive the wheels.

“Just need to brake now.” I searched for the emergency brake and pulled it. A great screeching sound filled the air and we were flung forwards as the train tried to stop itself. But the exit was fast approaching. I could see a sliver of light up ahead.

“It’s not enough!” I shouted, panicking. “We’re going to crash!”

The exit wasn’t fully open and we were hurtling towards it. I pulled desperately at the brake.

Andrew let out a great yell as the train just missed the exit door and we plunged through into open air.

“Oh my…” I gasped, doubling over. Black dots were dancing along my vision.

“Esther!”

“Not my name-“

“-there’s another train!”

I glanced up, banishing the dots, to see something more horrific. Another train had jumped in front of us from another train line. And we were still going too fast. It would take at least a mile to stop this train.

“Shit!” I shouted and I knew there was only one option. I looked at Andrew one last time, letting his dark eyes into my soul, before I derailed the train.

“What the hell are you-“

The wheels lifted off the track and the train went crashing off the rail.

Bang.

Everything faded to blackness.

Epilogue

“You’re under arrest, Miss Duval.”

I watched Ariel as they arrested her at the hospital. She was crying and screeching, but alive which was something. I was surprised I wasn’t going to jail with her.

“Charlotte Blyth.” I looked up at the officer standing by my bedside. “We’ve confirmed there was an engine fault on Illicit. You’ve been absolved of any blame.”

I could only stare at him. Absolved of blame? I’d crashed the train into the Loire tunnel and now people were dead. But at least…I’d missed the oncoming train. And no one else died on Illicit.

The officer nodded to himself and walked away. I touched the bandage on my head. Ouch. All of the passengers were still getting checked over. It was a miracle they hadn’t all died from poisoning or my derailing.

“Do you ever think a name predicts someone or somethings future? Illicit means something illegal and look at Ariel’s fate.” Andrew chuckled as he watched his prey being taken away. He was an undercover officer who’d been assigned to follow Ariel and catch her.

He looked at me again, his black eye making him seem like the winner of a spectacular fight.

“Are you ever going to forgive me?” He asked hesitantly. I sighed. He'd tricked me into being the wife of the man he'd stolen a train ticket from.

He’d lied to me. Confused me. Kissed me. All in the name of something noble. But…

“Only if you forgive me.” I said softly, guilt gnawing at me.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Charlotte. The train was broken from the moment it left the station. The tunnel was an accident.”

“I…”

“Come and meet me tomorrow. When you get out of here.”

He handed me a card with a location written on the back. With a parting kiss on my head he was gone.

I could still see that last look of his dark eyes before the crash. I looked at the card and smiled, embracing the idea of tomorrow with him.