The Bright Side of Cali

It had been an extremely long time since I felt like this.

After my mom died of cancer, I quit my job, sold my house and moved to California. We were from a small town in Wisconsin and she had me in highschool; she never had a chance to fulfill any of her dreams. My father died in a car accident a week after I was born so my mom spent most of her time working different 9-5 jobs trying to provide for us. We lived in a small town but all I ever heard her talk about was how she wished she could have gone to California and pursued her acting dreams. Although I have no desire to be an actor, I figured in honor of my mom, I could give it a try.

Back in Wisconsin, I was the manager of a car dealership. The owner was a friend of my dads so he had started helping me out with a job since I was in highschool. I started out as a regular salesman and after getting the most sales and showing the most improvement, he promoted me to manager. Since I had never moved out of my moms house, I actually had a lot of money saved up from working at the dealership. This made it a lot easier for me to just drop my current life and just up and go start a new one. Although the idea of starting over scared me to my core, the idea of making my mother proud and being able to live out the dreams that she worked so hard for made all of that fear disappear.

Once I got to California, I decided that I was going to give it my all and I was finally going to enjoy some of the money I had been saving. I bought a cute condo in Beverly Hills, a new mustang and decided I would start looking into auditions right away. After my fifth failed audition, I remembered all the work my mom used to say she had to put into being a good actor and decided to get an acting coach. She didn’t get a scholarship to a performance school strictly because of her great faith, although I’m sure that played a part as well. Hollywood showed me quickly that you needed more than money to be something in their big city.

After some deep digging on social media, I found an acting coach and that worked with my open schedule. Unfortunately, he was only my acting coach for thirty minutes because after that, I slept with him. Some would probably say that it was months of no sex that I had gone through since my last relationship but honestly, it was just the feeling that I felt as soon as he walked through the door. Something about him was different and I didn’t want to waste any of my time pretending like I wanted for things to perfect or right to take it to the next level. I had moved to California to push the boundaries, step out of my comfort zone and make my mama proud. And honestly, this may have been the thing most like my mother that I had done since I arrived; remember she did have me in high school.

I had never slept with someone so quickly. We hardly knew each other's names before we were ripping our clothes off with our teeth. Honestly, I was afraid that because of how fast it all happened, that I wouldn’t hear from him again after he left that night but thankfully, that wasn’t the case at all. We texted throughout our days and spent most of our nights together. Although he was an acting coach, he also owned his own barbershop in Compton. After he would finish his last cut of the night, he would go home, grab some clothes and head over to my house. It was scary how fast everything was moving but I just decided to roll with it.

Next thing you know, I’ve been in California for six months; I’ve got my first gig and now a boyfriend. For our half year anniversary, he decided that he would show off his culinary skills to me. It amazed me how talented he was.

The food smelled like… a fresh start. I had never smelled something that smelled like an emotion. He said that he was a good cook but I thought that was just something that everyone said. The chicken smelled like something out of a restaurant that I couldn’t even afford. The smell filled the room whole and then it filled me whole. This was just another thing that made me love him but it was the first thing that made me realize……………

…… Oh shit…… I really do love this man.

I came to California to live out my mother’s dreams and ended up moving here and falling in love. I watched him as he stirred whatever was in the pot. Time seemed to stop but my heart just kept beating and for a couple of seconds, it was all that I could hear. Looking at him… watching him doing something that he loved to do… seeing that passion while literally smelling the beauty of it just continued to fill me whole in a way that nothing has been able to do since my mother passed away. I looked at him and I felt it.

“I love you Paulie.”

He looked back and just stared at me before dipping his finger in the pot and giving it a taste. I knew that it was early for me to say but who was I now to put the brakes on things. This was a ride that I wanted to keep going at the same speed forever.

“Mmmm… you know… this food taste almost as good as that felt.” He walked from the pot over to me and sat down. “I love you too, Brynna.” Paulie walked back over to the pot, dipped his finger in again but instead of giving it a taste, he gave me one by slowly putting his finger in my mouth. The last thing I remember before ripping through his clothes was the soft feel of his finger sliding down my lip.

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