The Black Book Killed My Childhood

We started moving around the country when I was five years old. I'll never forget the day it began. We heard a knock on the door, and Dad brought in a package. He and my mom looked at each other and said it was time to move.

After the first two cities, I forgot about the package. And then one day, I was in my parents' room and noticed it. It ripped at the corners, but it looked like they opened it once a day. I put my hand on the box and started opening it, but I heard my mom scream and yank me away from the box.

Mom slammed me on the bed, and Dad said some angry words about snooping. I shrank back, expecting him to hit me, but Mom pushed him out of the room and talked to me. When she saw I was okay, she hugged me, and then Dad came inside to talk to me.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry I scared you. There's iron in that box, and it could affect your allergies and kill you." He looked like he wanted to say more. Maybe hug me, but he didn't.

"Go brush your teeth," he said softly. "It's time for bed."

I don't want you to hate my dad. My dad would talk kindly most days, but he never gave me any reassuring pats on the head, making sure I knew I was still a good kid. I don't remember any affection toward me.

Of all the things to remember, getting yelled at over a ratty-looking box is one of the weirdest. I'd rather have a standard, traumatizing childhood memory, like walking in on my parents. At least there's a reason to remember something like that.

But nope!

My trauma is getting lectured over a rotting box. I never found out what was in it.

Years later, I still remember the talk, but I forgot about the box. I noticed weird things about my parents. They didn't yell at me very much. Except for the one time I tried to get the mail. They threatened to ground me all summer if I ever got the mail again. The only time I ever saw it was when relatives sent me birthday cards.

And then there was the friends rule. I could see my friends after school, but they couldn't come over. I didn't get to go to a friend's house until I was twelve, and that was after my parents went to their house and did a home inspection! Dad said they did it to make sure my friends knew about my iron allergy.

Don't get me wrong! My parents weren't bad people! Honestly, they weren't trying to make me a miserable kid. They were just extra!

When I was eight, they bought me a bunch of video games. It was fun, at first. But when you can't have friends over or go to a friend's house, it gets really boring real quick. And when I told them, all the video games disappeared, and my room had nothing but books in it.

I liked the books. It felt like traveling into another world. One minute I'm staring at a bunch of words. Then in another minute, I'm walking around the world and watching the action like some interactive movie.

My favorites were comic books. The two best ones were The Iron Jackal and Silver Bullet. The two fight the supernatural and protect families from the Fey. Without them, the Fey would be more powerful than ever. They like to switch kids with Fey babies to make themselves stronger. Human babies are raised for breeding pretty much.

These kids, called Changelings, went through horrible abuse until the Fey gave the parents their real kids back in the olden days. Now, a Changeling could go their whole life not knowing who they are. They know they're different, but they don't understand why.

One day, my mom started sitting in my room with me when I wanted to read. I don't care how old you are; it's creepy having your mom stare at you all the time when you're trying to do something you like. It's not like she's giving me a real loving stare. It's this weird look like I'm a science project, not her teenage daughter.

Often, when I thought I closed the book, I'd look up, and her big blue eyes were the first things I saw.

"Tell me about your story, baby," she said. I couldn't figure out why she suddenly got so interested in my books. She'd grab my arms and legs like she was checking for bruises.

This is so cringe! Why is this family so weird?!

What my parents didn't know about were the experiments I did in my room. After my mom drilled me on the stories, she left me alone, and I went to work. I learned I could change my looks based on the books I read. If I read fantasy books, I learned spells. I wondered if I could make boys like me with romance books, but my parents never left those lying around the house.

But I think they noticed. The older I got, the more it felt like parents showed up at random times. They always talked about how I'm somewhere else all the time. Maybe they were right.

My fourteenth birthday was the weirdest day of my life. I'm still unsure how I did it, but I convinced both parents to let me stay home alone for once. They didn't like leaving me alone. Mom forgot to buy frosting for my cake, and I demanded it be a surprise, so the two of them left.

I did what any teenager would. I found a Playlist I liked on Apple Music, and I danced my ass off! I was halfway through some sick moves during Pocketful of Sunshine when I heard someone banging on the door. I turned off the music and listened. The banging happened again. It sounded urgent like they'd break in if I didn't answer.

I expected a cop. But a woman stood there. Well, maybe not a woman. She looked like she wasn't much older than me. Her red roots peeked through her turquoise hair. Her otherworldly gray eyes gave me this look like she wasn't sure if she should be happy or disgusted at the sight of me. Her painted pink lips curled slightly in a smirk. All she wore was a long black trench coat and tall black heels. They shined in the sunlight.

"It's as the Black Book predicted," she said. "The Black Book will be happy to know you're here." She looked at me for a while longer then walked away. The way she moved on those heels was impressive.

"Wait," I called. "Who are you?"

"Just tell Mom and Dad I found them," she replied. "And I'll be back when they want me." I blinked. She was gone.

I closed the door and went to my room. I sat on the bed, processing what I heard. I have a sister! Why didn't Mom or Dad say anything about having a sister? And what's The Black Book?

I don't know how long I sat there before hearing car doors outside and Mom and Dad's voices. The sound of their laughter annoyed me for the first time. How could they be so happy knowing they abandoned my long-lost sister?

When I walked out of my room, my parents could tell something happened. My mom gave me a quizzical look. My dad ran a hand through his red hair.

"Why didn't you tell me I had a sister?" I asked.

"Cassie," Mom started.

"No," I told her. "Why would you act like this other kid doesn't exist? Don't you think that's a little messed up?" My parents looked at each other and then glanced at me one more time.

"Well, I was hoping to give you a quieter fourteenth birthday," my dad said after a beat, "but it looks like we're going to Headquarters."

"Headquarters?" I asked. Before I could say anything, my parents went to different rooms. I stood in the middle of the living room, confused. Then my heart skipped a beat when I saw my parents walk out in familiar clothes.

"You're..." I started.

"The Iron Jackal," my dad answered.

"And Silver Bullet, yes," my mom said. "And we need to go to Headquarters now. You need to tell us everything that happened while we were out."

As they rushed me to the car, I told them everything. I told them about the girl at the door and the Black Book. My dad pushed a button in the car, and it sprouted wings, taking flight!

"I hate we're doing this in public," my dad said, "but it looks like we have no choice." We stayed silent until the car/plane went up into the clouds. And then my mom turned to me.

"There is something we need to tell you, Cassie," my mom said.

"So you're admitting you had another kid!" I accused.

"No," my mom said. "That girl you saw was our daughter. However, you're not our child. You're a Changeling."

"We spent years looking for the real Cassie before she became of age," my not-dad said, "Our daughter would make the Fey stronger if she bred with them. The Fey have been trying for years to produce children immune to iron. Our child might be the one to give them a new generation of Fey."

"That explains why you never so much as tried to give me a hug when I was a kid," I said slowly, trying not to let my rage take over, "you would've hurt me if you did. But why not do it anyway, since you don't really want me?"

"It's not that we don't want you," Silver Bullet said, "We love you like our own, but we need to save our daughter before The Black Book uses her."

"So I'm just useful, aren't I?" I shot, "Useful until you find your real fucking kid."

"That's not what we said," The Iron Jackal snapped.

"What are you saying?" I snapped back, "That you'd trade me for another kid any day? I mean, she did say she'd come back whenever you wanted her, so why not trade us now?"

"I don't see The Black Book giving back our daughter and letting us keep his daughter too," my dad said quietly.

Everything happened fast! I remember flashes of green lights and a loud bang! I heard my parents screaming, "Mayday!" I never realized they had a radio in the car. But then again, they had other SuperFriends out there.

I felt and heard hot energy coming from me, and more crashes into the fresh air. Then more screaming.

It came from me! Something ripped at my back, and it didn't let go! I thought I'd be falling at this point, but I stayed in the sky. I looked behind me. Large, red, terrifying wings blocked my view of the sky. I watched the car/plane go down, unsure of what happened to my parents.

"They weren't my parents anyway," I said to myself. "It's not like they wanted me in the first place."

I floated above the clouds, hearing airplane engines in the distance. I saw one go by, but I couldn't tell if they saw me. My wings felt heavy on my back as they flapped. It felt like they'd rip off my flesh any second.

"Guess I better put these to use," I said. "It's time to find this Black Book and have a real conversation." I flew ahead of me, the sun's heat slowly fading from my back.