The Awakening

In a timeless place and a formless space, I sat face to face with the All. The Ohm the One. This may sound unfathomable yet all this transpired as if I were having a conversation with myself because I was. “You will go to this planet whoms species suffers amnesia of the soul and in this incarnation, you too will experience similar amnesia. You will not remember your fractal nature. Will not remember your omnipotent nature, in the earth simulation everything you experience will seem so real you will forget this very conversation, this very moment.”

I sat eyes wide, wordless taking in the indescribable surrounding elements, portals, mind-bending phenomena all around and inside of me, wondering how I could ever forget such an ineffably beautiful space.

“The journey you will embark on will be so meticulously designed that within every occurrence will be an opportunity to remember bits and pieces of your true nature. The remembering will be the medicine, for both you and so too the entirety of your species.”

“Medicine?”

“The amnesia of your species will lead to massive destruction and suffering. Estrangement from self, from others, from The Mother Nature herself. All the fractals of me will fall so deep into the amnesia that they will act from a place of greed and numbness. Lack of intention and intuition will lead to the objectification of all that is on Earth. The process is already deep in development. The medicine will be the only cure.” And as the All said this an energetic tendril reached out and connected to the area just a few inches above the center of my chest.

At that moment I felt every sensation imaginable all at once and as the brightest, whitest light consumed everything, I was sucked into some sort of interdimensional threshold where I was stretched every which way before being compacted and contracted by incomprehensible ancient ancestral systems.

Panic flooded my system as I realized the weight of what was transpiring. I did not want to leave that spaceless space where connectivity and ultimate understanding coursed through and simultaneously created the field.

My screams turned to a gasp as I jolted upwards and my eyes popped open taking in the white walls and machines around me. My eyes wildly scanned the room that was so different from where I was only seconds ago… where I was….. Where was I? And just like the fleeting memory of a dream, the occurrence was gone.

“Oh my God, she’s awake….” I turned to see a familiar face, tears falling freely from eyes of disbelief. “They said you wouldn't wake up. They said... They were going to pull the plug ton-”

Doctors flooded into the room cutting off the beautiful woman clutching my face. Looks of incredulity painted the faces of the doctors and nurses piling into the room and they paused looking from their vital sheets to me.

“What do you remember?” my apparent wife questioned... I closed my eyes and at first, everything was blank but slowly memories began to trickle in. First quick flashes of warm beaches and kisses from the woman at my bedside.. my beloved. Hiking the Machu-Pichu in Peru, research trips in Greece…

Researching.

Years of researching the effects of chronic inflammation in humans due to glyphosate in the soil. The poisoning of the water and air systems of the planet and the correlations of the microbiome to the macro biome. It was all coming back. Who I was, and the years of consistent speeches, petitions, and motions to bring awareness to all the enviormental issues deemed mundane that would ultimately lead to the beginning of the possible extinction of human civilization on earth.

“I remember New Years… 2022. We couldn’t celebrate. The climate was too unstable. The air too polluted and everyone was getting sick.. With the new Covid variant-”

“You were going to pull the plug on her” Amilyana said her voice hoarse and tight with pain. I opened my eyes to see her piercing glare at the man who looked like the doctor in charge.

“Mrs. Wolf I-”

In a flash she was up, in his face wild with fury, being held back by two of the other doctors “YOU WERE GOING TO LET HER DIE TONIGHT YOU MOTHER FUCKER YOU WERE GOING TO KILL HER YOU-”

“Mrs. Wolf I’m so sorry,” he said over and over again flushed and looking sick “you have to understand we have had thousands of cases like this and once patients are comatose the length of time your wife has been, there have been no reports of recovery.”

“How long was I away?” I said as the room fell silent. My choice of words caught even me off, guard. For just a second I wondered why I hadn't used to word gone or out but Amilyana crossed the room, all the anger that animated her a second ago replaced with a look that instantly brought tears to my eyes. She gently lifted my hand in hers and opened her mouth but nothing came out.

“How long?” I repeated

“Mrs. Wolf” the head doctor spoke addressing me this time “you were comatose for a little over a year.”

I heard very little of what came next. The doctors explained that I could go home after a few cat scans buy they would have to run extensive tests over the next few weeks due to the nature of my recovery.

Amilyana held my hand as they wheeled me down the hallways I realized how bad things had gotten in the time I had been elsewhere. The hospital was overflowing with patients half the building was closed off to doctors and patients in hazmat suits, an energy of massive hopelessness hung heavy in the air. As I got to the room and prepared to enter the cat scan machine a nurse gave me a puzzled look “Hold on a second!” she exclaimed. “You’ll have to take that necklace off, patients with your condition really shouldn’t have had jewelry on to begin with” she chided looking at my wife with a twinge of annoyance.

“I didn't put it on her come to think of it I don’t know if I’ve ever seen that necklace before,” she said peering at me curiously. Snapping out of my daze I looked down to see a heart-shaped locket with sacred geometry carvings on the surface, hanging an inch above the center of my chest. The iridescent locket seemed alive in an untold way. I unclasped the chain and handed it to Amilyana and proceeded into the brain scan machine.

Hours later after loads of paperwork and questions I could care less about answering, we neared the hospital exit. Amilyana took a deep breath and handed me a Hazmat mask. I stared at it as a feeling of dread settled into my gut thinking about what was on the other side of the hospital door. We masked up and headed out into the world.

I stared out the car window in utter disbelief. All the plants, trees grass everything that should be green was brown, the air had a brown tint and no one was outside except for a few hazmat heads dashing from buildings to their cars. How had things gotten this bad inside of a year? As we drove my wife updated me on much of what I had missed, how ever since i fell sick, the National Center for Disease Control and the official U.S Department of Science started taking my research seriously, how they were fervently seeking to reverse the decades of damage caused by careless mass production and pesticide use courtesy of huge corporations in cahoots with top politicians. How around the time of the outbreak we started to see the worst repercussions of fossil fuel burning and factory farming. How even though the disease stopped spreading and slim progress was being made it felt like more and more people were accepting that this must be the end-all. The rapture.

Later as I sat in my study, I tried to have a sense of gratitude for the fact that I was awake now. News outlets were calling it a miracle and Washington was already making arrangements to have me give a speech as a beacon of hope for the country. However, the fact of the matter was that I seemed to be awake in a nightmare. I felt a growing sense of rage, all my years of work, of trying to reason with the government that my findings weren’t some conspiracy, that if we didn't make the necessary changes now things would get worst. Well the worse came and now they take me serious. I sat simmering in my rage and my hand traveled back up to my mysterious locket and stopped there. I cannot tell you what came over me, beckoning me to take it off and open it but I can tell you that as the locket popped open apparently my pineal gland did too. Just as my memories of life post fucking apocalypse came rushing back earlier, so did a recollection of my ‘time’ spent in the space

Feelings of ultimate trancendance and unity overcame my entire being, alchemizing the anger and hopelessness that gripped me so tighly into what can only be described as love. I remembered looking into the abyss where one would expect to see nothing and seeing everything. Being everything and nothing all at once and before I could revel in it, it was gone. The ungraspable, unknowable nature of reality had cradled me outside of time and space and somehow left me with a reminder.

I had begun to ponder earlier what I would say to the nation in a few days. Honestly, I had planned on going over the years of research I conducted before I fell ill in a sort of I told you so fashion. Instilled in me now however, was the irrevocable knowing that what the world needed was to feel the hope and light that just dramatically shifted my entire outlook on reality. In my years of studying what had become obvious was that the term 'as above so below' directly coresponded with my findings. The more we polluted the Earth the sicker we got. The more we ignored what was so obviously wanting to be seen the more aggressive disease variants became. It was as if Mother Nature was practically screaming HELLO!!! CANT YOU SEE ME? CANT YOU FEEL MY PAIN? MUST I MAKE YOU FEEL MY PAIN IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND? Humans spent so long treating the planet like it was a thing rather than the living breathing being she is. How obvious that everything is intricately interconnected. To each other. To nature. To forces seen and unseen. What if instead of a message of only facilitating healing from the outside in, we aim to heal the planet from the inside out. I gazed at the locket eyes wide, i was past disbelief, past my ‘i told them so’ arrogance, even past my hoity-toity pile of research findings. Humans didn't need to hear from another scientist. Nor did they need to hear some address that sounded like it was coming from a mystic. The role I was being called to step into is that of one who helps people remember. A remembering of the deepest truth instilled in our species. I set my locket next to my notepad, took a deep breath in and got to work.