The Alcoholic's Nightmare

The Alcoholic’s Nightmare.

Older human being advice to a younger human being indulging in alcohol.

“Be careful not to fall under the spell of the spirits. Like John Trudell once said, ‘You are in the place where spirits get eaten. Protect your spirit.’” The older human being took a swig of his bottle. Malt Liquor was his preferred alcoholic beverage.

He leaned over to the youth and said, “This will grab you and take you to unpleasant places if you are not careful with it. I am not saying do not do it, because for one, look at me, I cannot be a hypocrite and tell you not too." He takes a drink. He wipes his mouth as the youth watches him closely because he is interested in what he has to say. It feels like wisdom to him. The reason being why it feels like wisdom is because he experienced a black out moment. It was his first time having a black out and he regretted his actions. He tried to fight his cousin for nothing.

"But believe me, I have had my share of demons coming especially when you been drinking for so long. They tend to come when you are coming off alcohol." The older human being said. He looked at the youth.

"Yeah. I had a black out last night. I tried to fight my cousin. They said I did it for no reason at all. I do not remember." The youth said as he looked down, eyes to the ground. The older human could feel his remorse and shame.

"Yeah, it happens. You must be careful with this stuff. If you cannot handle it then do not do it. Sometimes it takes us all our lives to figure it out. Do not be like me, be better than me. I do not repeat this cycle. I have lost cousins, uncles, aunties, and friends to this shit. But here I am still doing it. Some of my bros went to prison due to drinking one night. Some have lost their lives in one night. It is dangerous. hahaha. But sometimes at the time consequences don't matter because it takes our mind and spirit." The older human being took another drink.

"Can I get a beer?" The youth asked.

"How old are you?" The older human being asked.

"16." The youth said.

"Yeah, go ahead. What's your name?" The older man said.

"Travis." Travis grabbed a beer out of the beer box. He then sat back down.

"Travis. Arnold. Glad to meet you." Arnold reached out and shook his hand.

Travis opened the beer. He then took a big drink.

"How you get over here?" Arnold asked.

"My cousin is with Stephany, and we came here last night." Travis said.

"Oh ok, so that was you guys making all that noise." Arnold assumed.

"Yeah, probably." Travis confirmed.

"Hey, be careful about the spirit you bring here. This is my mom’s home so just know there is sacred items in this home." Arnold confessed.

"Ok, yes I usually don't drink but just this last year I started. Some of my family is alcoholic so it runs in the family." Travis said.

"Yaa know, it does for lot of us. It was a way to mask ourselves when they forced us into assimilation. But we need to pull ourselves out now. So, I hope the words I share with you stick to your heart. That you will reflect on this conversation we had about these spirits." Arnold said. He then down a whole beer and grabbed another one,

"Yeah, I am taking it in. I think some of us youth are trying to find an escape from this reality. We grow up in broken homes, like, I know how and what this is about. Lot of us do, but it feels hopeless at times like no one cares. Or that we just have an addictive behavior. I do not know what it is, but I do know it is pushed down on us from T.V. to music and movies. I-." Travis is interrupted by his uncle.

"Yeah, you are right all that. I wish some of us could show you better, but you can take the good and leave the bad. I know you have it in you. You sound smart and know what you are getting yourself into, but why do it?" Arnold leaned forward with his beer in his hand. He then took a drink of it.

Travis downed his beer with a quickness. He asked for another one. Arnold told him to grab another one.

The question Arnold asked Travis next couldn’t be answered because Travis just had a desire to find escape. In this world, he felt out of place. He must have thought he just needed to figure it out himself.

In the next few years, Travis was struggling with alcoholism. He tried to quit but emotions were too intense. The desire, the craving, the feeling of feeling intoxicated overwhelmed his being and the resistance to use was demolished like a building getting hit by a wrecking ball. He found salvation in the euphoria the alcohol created.

One day, he was on a long month binge. He was twenty years old now. He thought about Arnold. The guy who told him to be careful had passed away the other day. He became close with him over the years and had drinking sessions with him. Arnolds niece, Stephany and his brother were still together and had a family so they became in-laws.

When Travis heard the news, he drank heavy the following days. He was in a rage and crashed a party his cousin threw as well. He was on everyone's shit list.

His cousin came over and gave him weed. He had not smoke for a month. He knew that weed would make him stop or slow down drinking, but the hang over was never fun. His cousin was concerned about his drinking and had a heart felt conversation with him.

"Bro you got to slow down man, you don't want to end up like Uncle Arnold." His cousin said.

"What the fuck you mean end up like Arnold?! He was a good man!! What because he was a bad person?!" Travis said getting louder with every sentence.

"I-", his cousin was cut off by Travis not understanding what his cousin was trying to say.

"Fuck you bitch!" Travis said and stood up looking like he was ready to fight.

"Man! Your drunk I'm out of here!" His cousin walked away.

"Yeah, that is what I thought!" Travis said as he stood there feeling barbaric.

"Smoke that weed fucker! I'll remind you tomorrow how you actin'." HIs cousin said as he got in his ride.

Travis drank throughout the day. Some of his friends came over to hang out with him. They brought more alcohol, and he eventually smoked the weed his cousin brought over for him. He ended up passing out.

He woke up and his world was spinning. He closed his eyes, but he could not shake the spinning. He laid there hoping it would go away. He then heard a scream. It was a female. He opened his eyes wide. His world was still spinning. But he attempted to get up.

"Ahhhh!!!!" he heard the female voice.

He got up off a bed and fell over hitting the wall and sliding down. He heard another scream, but it was a male voice. He started to panic because he could not stand up straight. He realized he had blood on his hands. He could see something dark was covering the room as if flooding like water. He seen the room be a room.... Then realized he was in a pool. The blood on his hands left his hands and spread across the water in front of him. The blood then formed a demon face in front of him. He screamed and the bubbles broke the formation of blood. He tried to get up but could not get up. His vision was no longer spinning. He could not breathe. He felt his spirit leave his body. He was now spirit.

"Did I just die?" He asked who ever could hear and if there was anything out there in this void, this blank dark, black, existence and could only hear his thoughts in his mind.

"Is that a real question?" He heard Arnold’s voice.

"Uncle Arnold, hey it’s good to hear you! What the hell!" Travis was excited.

"Yeah, I am here. How are you?' Arnold’s voice could be heard by Travis.

"I am good!! Just--,” Travis had a realization something was not right. He felt something was happening to him. He felt something tug on this whole realm or existence.

"Wait!? Uncle Arnold! They said you died?" Travis realized he was in another existence or a different realm of some kind. He became sad and scared. He then became paranoid as he could see a room fade into place. He felt suffocated again. His uncle Arnolds eyes turned black, and his skin became greyish pale. His uncle Arnold was standing by his pickup truck he used to drive.

Suddenly, a flood of water filled the world and he faded out. He could see glimpses of people wearing masks all around him. He was also visualizing himself going down a pipe filled with water. He was catching waves of air to help him stay conscious. Eventually he came out of the pipe and fell to the ground as the water was absorbed by the ground.

He opened his eyes. He was in the hospital with a tube down his throat. The emergency room doctors were pumping his stomach. His cousin and his wife were there by his side. He looked at them with big eyes signaling to take the tube out of his mouth. It took a few minutes to get it out. He just kept his eyes on his cousin and his wife.

"Hey cuz, you got alcohol poisoning. Scared us cuz. One of your homeboys brought you up here. They said you was not responding and started dry heaving. Man, I am glad you’re ok." His cousin said.

He was able to talk but had to whisper because it hurt to talk.

"I saw him..." Travis said softly.

"Saw who?" His cousin asked.

His cousin leaned in to hear him better.

"I saw Uncle Arnold." Travis said. Tears started to form and drop from his eyes and ran down his face.

'He was dead." Travis took a deep breath. He felt his heart start racing. He took another deep breath. His cousin’s wife came up and held his hand. She was sad and worried about Travis. Travis held his breath trying to not cry. He exhaled loudly. She started to cry.

"Travis, will you stop drinking. Please. Please! Uncle's funeral is today. And here we are with you at the ER. They pumped your stomach because you had alcohol poisoning. We do not want to bury you next. Please." His cousin wife said holding back tears. She held his hand tighter. Tears started to come down her face, his cousins face, and his face.

Travis was released from the hospital. He had a long talk with his cousin and his wife. It was mid-morning when they left the hospital. His blood alcohol level was 3.8. He felt shaky and dehydrated. He was craving for a beer. His cousin and his cousin’s wife brought him home. He sat outside smoking a cigarette thinking about his dream. He did not refer to it as a dream, more like a nightmare. The craving grew intense. The Indian summer air, the cigarette smoke, the thoughts, and needing to feel better all played the part of triggering his craving.

He decided to walk down to the store. He would close his eyes on the way to the store only to see his uncle’s face. The eyes of his uncle turned black when he realized that his Uncle Arnold was dead.

"I am living in a real-life alcoholic nightmare." He told me out loud.

"The veil is open Nephew." His uncle voice said in his head. He stopped and looked around because he heard it clear as day. Some leaves twirled up like a small dust devil in front of him. The brisk chilly air could be felt upon his flesh triggering his mind to shock his body as to take his breath away.

"One last time Uncle Arnold. Then I will fight this spiritual war." Travis said before he entered the store. He bought a twenty-four pack of beer and headed to the park. He did not know if he were going to make the funeral because his cousin and his cousin wife would be extremely disappointed in him and probably wouldn't allow him to attend if he is tipsy.

A couple of winos approached him, and they had some drinks too. he told them how he saw his uncle and woke up in the ER with alcohol poisoning. They warned him not to drink so much and gave him some lectures about life.

His cousin drove by the park and seen his cousin sitting their drinking with the winos. He pressed the brakes and thought for a second. He knew his wife was going to be concerned and want to come drags him home, but her uncle’s funeral was today. He compromised his own thoughts and decided to talk with his cousin.

"Yo cuz what up. You found me. Sorry man couldn't resist." Travis told his cousin as he walked up.

"Can I get a beer?" His cousin asked.

"Whhaatt, yes go ahead cuz. You going to have one with me on this special day?" Travis asked him.

"Why not." His cousin opened the beer and downed it in one tip. "Let me get another one." He said to Travis.

"Damn cuz, what you trying to do get drunk too?" Travis said as he handed another one to him.

"No, I am trying to keep you sober enough to come to the funeral." His cousin said as he grabbed the beer, opened it, and tried to down it but had to let up one time to burp. He then tipped it back and emptied the can.

A few hours later they were all at the funeral. Travis got up and wanted to say some words. He walked to the front of everyone.

"I just wanted to say that I am currently struggling with this alcoholic nightmare. I ended up in the hospital last night with alcohol poisoning. I scared my cousin and his wife. I know I also scared my dad and grandma. I am going to attempt to quit and going to need help. Uncle Arnold came to me last night. I am still processing it. It is a sign for me to quit drinking. I almost died last night." Travis started to cry. "We love you uncle, rest in peace..."

"All we can do is break this vicious cycle of this alcoholic nightmare. Words that were told to me from Uncle Arnold. Thank you for allowing me to share." Travis said.

As he walked out of the church, he saw shadows form where there was no object for a shadow to conform too. Travis then lit up a cigarette and walked to the car, opened the door, and grabbed the pint of whiskey his cousin got him to sip on. He took a couple of shots from it. He could feel the burn down his throat and feel it in his stomach.

"Yo Travis! Want to smoke a joint?" A family member asked him.

Travis capped the bottle and said, "Sure."