The Aftermath

I. The Aftermath

“He didn’t rape her.”

That word used to slide into the background. It was too cinematic, too far removed for me to even grasp its full implication.

But now, my head slowly bobbed up, eyes leaving the calculus book to find the girl who had spoken. She wasn’t looking at me. She was talking to her friends who stared at her with mouths open as if she shouldn’t say that word. Or at least not like that.

“Who?” I asked. Casually.

As much as I could.

I knew who she was talking about. Who else could it be? These things didn’t happen everyday.

The girl glanced at me. She was my friend–somewhat. We talked. She had a nickname for me, and I loved it. Lesbian Queen. It was the single greatest compliment anyone had ever given me, but now I had to look neutral. Though not one for confrontation, this conversation would piss me off, and I knew it. I should leave it alone.

No, I wasn’t going to do that.

I’d defended the wrong person before, and I wouldn’t do it again. Being passive? Yeah, I counted that as defending her. And by consequence, defending him.

II. The Story

Sari called the police after she threw up five times. The first had been this morning–probably a side effect of her new birth control prescription. The second had been after the math test when his first text arrived.

Meet me.

She wanted to say no, so she did.

Look after this time i wont ask again

He’d said that every time before now, and she still wanted to believe it. She threw up for a third time after that text. One of the girls from her math class heard her, told the teacher, and the teacher sent her to the nurse. The nurse took her fever, found nothing, and sent Sari back to class.

The fourth time was between language arts and biology. He told her what he wanted, and she couldn’t hold it in. Her shoes turned a rusty brown, and she couldn’t tell if it was blood or the raspberry tea she’d had this morning. Please let it be the tea, she pleaded silently.

The fifth time was in her bathroom at 8:09 PM. Her mom and stepdad had gone on a date. It was Friday after all.

She hadn’t told either her mom or Jonah that she’d gotten sick. And definitely not what about. They’d both kill her if they ever found out.

The single hardest thing she’d ever done was put those three numbers into the landline. She didn’t trust herself to do it on her cell phone. She had to stare at that last text to even keep her courage up.

When the police came, they asked her questions. When they were done asking her questions, they called her parents.

Her mom didn’t know what to say. Jonah did. He let her have it.

Why wasn’t anyone asking her if she was okay?

She wasn’t, that was for sure.

III. The Anniversary

On the way to lunch, Sari told me she was going to court in six months.

“Six months?” I said. “It’s taking that long. They arrested him a year ago.”

“To date,” she said.

“Then why’s it taking so long?”

Sari shrugged. She turned left, almost forgetting to turn on her blinker. Her brown eyes stared straight ahead. She refused to look at me as if I might say something that would set her on fire. “They’re trying to find a lawyer for him,” she said. “His mom completely cut him off. He doesn’t have any money. At least, that’s what I’ve been told.”

I wasn’t sure if I should feel bad for him. I didn’t, not by a long shot, but should I?

I nearly laughed at myself.

Was I really debating that? He deserved much more than whatever punishment he was going to get.

And then, as we pulled in, my chest contracted. I almost grabbed Sari and shoved her under the seat, but then reason kicked in. The fear subsided. Reality came crashing back down. This was a good-sized town.

The odds of seeing him were slim.

IV. The Reality

These are the facts.

1. He got nine years probation.
2. He cheated on his girlfriend with Sari.
3. Sari sent him nudes.
4. She wanted to, at first.
5. She had liked the attention, at first.
6. Sari lost her Internet and phone privileges.
7. Her parents haven’t looked at her the same way since.
8. I worry he’s going to come back, guns blazing, and try to mow her down.
9. My friends see him.
10. I saw him the day before he was arrested.
11. He smiled at me.
12. I didn’t smile back.
13. I defended him to his girlfriend after he screamed at her and threw her stuff onto the floor.
14. Sari made a mistake.
15. She paid too many dues for it.
16. Most of his friends refuse to believe he raped her.
17. I see him in every crowd.
18. I can’t imagine how she’s dealing with it.