Tani's Torture

Tani sat in her small room listening to music, one of the few joys in her life. The front door slammed shut, her mom must have forgotten her wallet; she had only left for the store 15 minutes ago. The thought was gone as soon as it came, because her mom did not throw whatever was in her path. Her stepdad home already and drunk of course.

"Lindi," he sounded mad, but he was always mad when he was drunk. "Lindi," he was louder now and Tani could hear his footsteps, slow and unsteady coming down the hall.

Her mom’s door smashed opened, "Where are you! They fired me! Do you hear, fired! Turn that wretched music off!"

The music, why had she not thought of that? He was coming now, so she scrambled under the bed as her door swung open. Was she to late?

"Come out! I know you’re here!"

There was a crash and her music stopped. She could hear more stuff hitting the floor and walls. How many of her things would be destroyed?

"Come out!" He yelled again. Would it be best to stay hidden hoping he would leave or come out before he got more upset?

He made her decision before she could. She was being dragged out, her head hitting the dresser hard.

"Where is she? She left me didn't she? She left because she thinks I’m a failure and can’t live up to the golden image of your dad!" he yelled. Tani cringed as spittle sprayed across her face and the stench of liquor washed over her.

She hadn't left him…yet. She had been promising since a week after the wedding, "as soon as I find a job and get some savings so we can live," she kept saying. Tani wondered at times how her mom could have married this monster, but then she would remember her mom after Dad died, then Grandma and Grandpa. She was devoid of joy and hope and desperate for some way to keep them alive.

Her stepdad was screaming louder now, and Tani tried to tell him her mom was at the store getting food for his dinner, but he wouldn't listen. She stopped trying because it only seemed to make him more upset, but the hitting continued. She was vaguely aware of being pulled down the hall by her hair when she blacked out.

When she came to again she was lying on something hard and it smelled like the garden after pulling weeds. Her whole body ached and she could hardly move.

Cold rain fell softly on her face then it turned to hard dirt; she realized he was trying to bury her. Pumped full of adrenaline now she found the strength to move; thank goodness the hole was only a couple feet deep. Somehow, she got out without her stepdad noticing, perhaps it was too dark, or because he was so drunk. No matter the reason she was out and she managed to roll a couple times coming to rest at a tree trunk before she blacked out.

She woke as the first rays of sun came over the mountaintops. It might have been beautiful to her, lying under the aspen tree seeing vibrant green leaves glistening in the morning light, various shades of color in the sky, the smell of freshly cleaned earth. All beautiful, if she didn’t ache so much. She gulped for air but it only hurt worse. She felt she might suffocate, why was it so difficult to breath?

With great effort she got herself to a sitting position leaning against the tree in hopes it would help her breath better. Slumped there, she looked towards her would be grave; what she saw took her breathe away. There was a hand sticking out of the dirt. She crawled her way over, terrified and drawn to investigate. She knew that hand… it was her mother’s. She sobbed and cringed as pain coursed through her. She started clawing at the dirt, a desire beyond understanding to see her mom again. She worked up from the hand with great effort. As she got to the neck her hand caught on something metallic and she realized it was her mom’s locket. Carefully she pulled it away from the dirt then held the beautiful heart shaped locket with the fancy chain bow in her shaking hands. She set it down and began moving the dirt again, needing to see her mom’s face. Gently she wiped the dirt away as best she could and gazed at her mom, still so beautiful even in death. She sat by her mom for what seemed forever, lost, alone, and afraid.

The sun glinted off the locket catching her eye; Tani reached down carefully removing it from her mother’s neck. She could not count the number of times she would catch her mom clasping the locket, tears rolling down her checks. How often had she sat on her mom’s lap playing with the locket, running her finger slowly around each decorative bump and up to the little bow that fascinated her? She would open the locket, and staring at the pictures inside ask mom to tell her about them. All she ever managed to learn was, “they are your grandparents, James and Nelda and my brother Lyon; they didn’t make it inside the shield in time.”

Tani had never known a life without the shield. She knew her mom and dad had lived for some time in the chaotic war torn world before the shield went up, but they didn’t often speak of it and when they did it was only general information.

The shield had gone up around the time her parents turned 12, the same age she was now. The world had gone crazy with war every nation fighting for a cause they thought was right. Land, power, and greed were what they really wanted and willing to kill anyone who stood in their path to get it. The war still raged on throughout the world, but inside this safe haven, they called Harmony, no bombs destroyed homes, no tanks gunned down families, no guns shot the young. On occasion Tani would see flickers in the distant sky; her father would smile and say, “Another attack has failed.” When she was little it would frighten her, but her dad would hold her on his lap and begin the story she knew so well. “Not so long ago a group of people sick of the fighting and chaos came together with a plan to build a shield that would keep the war away and give them a home, safe from all the horrors of war. They sacrificed much to make the dream of safety real, so they could keep the pain, sorrow, and death away from their children. Your grandparents were some of the lucky ones who knew about the plan and did everything they could to get us to Harmony. You are lucky to live here away from the terrors of war, dear Tani. You have 1000’s of miles free from destruction to roam. You have everything you need to live because your grandparents found and defended this land rich with natural resources allowing us to be self sufficient here. You will always be safe inside the shield.”

Tani laughed to herself at this last thought that used to bring comfort. Yes, safe from the war, but not safe from the sorrows of death or evil people. As she looked at the picture of her grandparents and uncle, thinking about the shield, an idea began to form. She had no family left here and the only person anyone would consider family was her stepdad; she had no desire to face him ever again. She was going to go find the shield and leave it’s safety! She would go out there and face the bombs, tanks, and guns to find her family. The shield had not kept her safe at all. It might protect against weapons but it did nothing to save her dad from a falling tree, or keep cancer away from her grandma, it didn’t stop grandpa from dying of a broken heart, and it certainly did not keep that monstrous man from killing her mother. She had nothing left here so why not leave. The shield went all around the nation, so all she had to do was pick a direction and go. She looked at her mother, kissed her forehead, and whispered goodbye.

She was thankful it had rained during the night because it allowed her to get some water that had collected on leaves, and there were berries around to eat. She came across a small pond, and washed herself and her clothes off. The cold water felt good on all her aches and pains. She was sure she had some broken ribs and plenty of bruises and cuts, but she was going to be fine she told herself. That night, sitting in the dark alone hearing the animal noises, she was not so sure about being fine. She kept telling herself she was heading towards the town of Liberty and she would make it tomorrow. Eventually exhaustion took over and she finally slept.

She made it to the outskirts of town the next day, and her stomach growled loudly as she walked past orchards and gardens. Never in her life had she stolen, but that was about to change. Tears spilled down her face as she walked away from a home her pockets and a shirt she took off the clothesline full of vegetables and fruits. Was this her life now, taking from others so she could live?

Months passed and she was weary to the bone of walking day after day, stealing, and searching trashcans to survive. She could see a city in the distance and was contemplating just giving up and finding a place to hide there when a road sign caught her eye, “Alliance 5 miles, Shield Line 25 miles.” She only had 25 miles to go; despite her exhaustion she did a little dance.

She stayed in Alliance longer than other cities gathering up extra supplies; she didn’t know what to expect when she left Harmony and wanted to be better prepared. Excitement bubbling in her stomach, she set off, knowing by the next day she would finally reach the shield.

This was the powerful and amazing shield she had heard about her whole life? She gawked at the tall wooden fence in shock; this was all that kept the war out? Up she started, ignoring the “Danger do not Cross” sign. She was just reaching up to grab the top of the fence when a deep voice called out, “You don’t want to do that.” Surprised Tani looked down at a man with graying hair.

“You won’t like what you see.”

“I want to find my grandparents.” Tani said weakly.

“You wont make it past the shield, there’s no way over that.”

Starting down, confused she asked, “This isn’t it?”

“Oh no, the fence went up years after the shield, so we wouldn’t have to see the ghastly sight on the other side; death that’s all you’ll see out there.”

Tani gazed past the man trying to register this news, then her eyes focused on tons of little white crosses scattered along the fence line. He noticed her gaze, “they aren’t grave sites, but memorials for loved ones left outside.” Tani noticed a rose in his hand; he was here to put it on a cross she realized. She began to sob; he put his arm around her saying, “let’s get you home, I bet your family is worried.”

Tani pointed to a random house, and he let her out.

She stood holding the locket to her chest and promised to survive; some day the shield would go down and she would find her family.

If you’d like to read more of Tani’s story click on this one below.

If you’d like to hear about her mother Lindi’s story check it out here.