Satire
The Wet Spot. Content Warning.
The wet spot. Something you don't want to roll over into. Jimmy on guitar, Lester on guitar. Kevin on the other guitar, but no one ever pays any attention to Kevin. Dave on bass, slapping it around like it's his ex-wife. Not that he ever slapped around his ex-wife. When they were married she outweighed him by 50 pounds and he was more or less constantly terrified of her. After they split she joined the Cross Fit and lost 75 pounds and now if she and Dave went to blows she'd kicked his ass thoroughly and her instructor would say, "Sorry Linda, I'm going to need another 15 minutes with the medicine ball or the climbing rope before I can give you your points today." Paul Fabrizio on skins.
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
How to Write a Novel
Wanna write a novel? Cool. First you're going to need a character and a setting. Frog on a log in a bog. Now, conflict. Alligator. Alligator tries to eat frog, frog runs away, alligator snaps and thrashes, frog sees tree, frog climbs tree. Alligator climbs tree. Alligator breaks a branch and falls down. Frog is safe. Frog is safe? Alligator decides to wait at bottom of tree.
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
TOODLEDOO TO TRIATHLETE TRANQING. Content Warning.
WJBE NEWS, DATELINE BALTIMORE, MD July 12, 2024 – In a surprising turn of events, the FDA has banned the use of tranquilizer darts to subdue extreme athletes and harvest their perspiration. This decision has sparked controversy, with several state governors arguing that the law is detrimental to commerce and hinders the control of extreme athlete populations.
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
The Vending Machine. Top Story - July 2024.
This novella is inspired by a 1972 short comedy film The Vending Machine written and directed by John Ewing. Mr.Ewing was a long-time director (40+ years) of the Cinematheque movie theater of the Cleveland Institute of Art.
By Lana V Lynx2 years ago in Fiction
Not Eternal Love
Elena traced the worn leather of the worn armchair, a familiar sigh escaping her lips. Rain lashed against the windowpanes, mimicking the rhythm of her restless heart. Outside, the world was a blur of grey, mirroring the dull ache that had settled in her chest since Liam's departure.
By Moharif Yulianto2 years ago in Fiction
Esprit de Machina
People call me Care, if you can believe it. Short for Carol. There have been plenty of men who have been given the name Carol, and I've never had any kind of problem with it. But people can be uncomfortable using a woman's name when talking to a man, so they shorten it. Or, to be precise--and precision is a must in my industry--they are sometimes uncomfortable using a name that they perceive to be a woman's name, even if, as in my case, that person is a man. So they call me Care.
By Jason Edwards2 years ago in Fiction
192 Your Daily Heuroscope
URANUS RULES TODAY'S HEUROSCOPE FOR THE FOLLOWING SIGNS Dicks: In the handicapped bathroom stall you will piss the toilet seat and leave the toilet unflushed. You'll offer solace to the wheelchaired man by explaining it's how you found it.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
The Vending Machine - 3
Ashton didn’t drink the “solve global warming” Coke for three days. He knew that procrastination was probably not the best approach, but he just couldn’t bring himself to drink it and set off another calamity. In his head, he was running all possible scenarios of what could go wrong with this option, as he now knew that the machine would somehow pervert everything. So he held off. In these three days, the world was engulfed in an unprecedented heat wave bringing the wildfires, drought killing all the crops, and torturing people with heat exhaustion. Ashton had the dreams of flying Coke again, telling him “You must drink it.”
By Lana V Lynx2 years ago in Fiction
