Humor

Emperor's Empowering Exalting Exposed Empire
"Goodness, what a buffoon." "Hush, Ceolwulf. We're guests here," she elbowed his ribs. "Humor me, Celeste. His idiocy displays excessive naivety. Him doing this, inviting us, including his potential enemies, exemplifies his weaknesses."
By Thavien Yliaster2 years ago in Fiction
Jones V God, Def.
No one was surprised when Orion Jones filed a lawsuit against God in the Clay County Courthouse. Shook their head, yes, but not in surprise. As a lawyer, Orion Jones tended to pick up the quixotic cases. Meaning, he would have represented the windmills in seeking damages from their delusional assailant. He collected losses like stamps, but the poor and downtrodden still came to him for two reasons. One, he had once secured a $106,000,000.00 dollar settlement from the Benton Williams Coal Mines a few counties over. As a side hustle, B&W had begun storing dangerous chemicals and radioactive waste down some of their abandoned shafts. After three dogged years of investigation, affidavits, and threats against his life he brought the hammer down on the company and the local economy. Two, and more importantly, he believed in his clients. Even when he knew they were lying.
By Sean A.2 years ago in Fiction
The Egg And The Carton
It was a fragile shell I didn’t want to break. But my clumsy hands and a faulty egg carton dropped that egg anyway. Now, I had to clean up the yolky oozing mess before it dried and became like glue.
By Amethyst Champagne2 years ago in Fiction
Chance in a million
I can see them through this crack. It isn’t much but it’s just enough to peek through. I must keep quiet or they’ll find me, but I know it won’t be long.
By L.Clabrough2 years ago in Fiction
Solitude Is Best Served Stuffed
In-person job interviews were a tedious, waste of time, anxiety-filled task. If you wanted me for my resume and were lured by my phone conversing skills, then you should have already made up your mind about accepting me onto your customer service team. It was an at-home work position anyhow. Why would you need me to leave said home?
By Oneg In The Arctic2 years ago in Fiction
Clouds of Heaven. Top Story - April 2024.
I always struggled in life and have finally grown tired of trying to fit into the mold of normal behavior. It was enough for me that I just was. Aspirations and success are a moronic goal in life that I failed to embrace.
By JBaz2 years ago in Fiction
118 Pr'oxymorons in the Workforce
FROM WICKEDPEDIA: PROXYMORONSProximorons have now entered the workforce and have become well established with the fall of Propriety-and-Sobriety Party in the 2030s. The proxymorons were those equipped to navigate contradictions within unique job descriptions. They were a natural result of the subspecialization of professions like Military Intelligence, Solo Team Captains, Jumbo Shrimp Distributors, and Alpha-Acolytes.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
I’m famous . Content Warning.
I didn’t know that I’m famous until I entered the poultry,those chicken were screaming 😱 and cheering for me the experience was overwhelming 😂😂
By Daniel Kango2 years ago in Fiction
Bear with me…
Tilly stops along the section of trail she’s hiking, taking a moment to breathe in the fresh mountain air. She can hardly believe she was finally here, living in Canada and so close to the Rocky Mountains. Well, close in Canadian terms, that is. It still took her over an hour’s drive to reach the trailhead.
By Heather Zieffle 2 years ago in Fiction
Centipede
Melody rinsed the last of the toothpaste from her mouth, looking up at her reflection in the mirror. Tired brown eyes stared back at her, the dark circles under them prominent. Her frizzy black curls were messy and pointing in nearly every direction. She’d had a long, aggravating day; her boss had been on her all day long, and she’d only gotten home an hour ago. Her body burned and ached with exhaustion. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep the night away.
By angela hepworth2 years ago in Fiction
Lights, Cameras, and Action...
“I’m so glad that you called me back.” “I am glad you answered.” Good move; nothing too aggressive or sloppy about that. Gotta make sure to have more lines like that later.
By Kendall Defoe 2 years ago in Fiction
The Spirit Box (2). Content Warning.
Chapter 2: Twin Robbers I got to work and took a deep breath. I discreetly took out the spirit box and inhaled John so I could convince the chief I felt great. I walked to chief’s office and asked the chief what the assignment was for today.
By Alex H Mittelman 2 years ago in Fiction