Surprise Package!

Arturo stepped over the package left on the front step of the share-house, barely noticing it was there. He wasn’t expecting a package, so assumed it was for someone else. Entering the long hallway of the old Victorian, he called out for his housemates to let them know it was there and went to his room. Arturo wasn’t his real name, it was Ron, Ronald McDonald. He had copped a lot of flak for that at school and sports and Art School, most of his life really. His parents denied prior knowledge, but he hated them for it anyway. He preferred his middle name Arthur; this became Arturo when his Italian soccer coach would yell it at him to run faster. It stuck, and since he was now a struggling artist it became his moniker.

Kaliope stepped over the package on the doorstep of the share-house. Realising the trip hazard it posed, she bent over and moved it aside. She didn’t see a name on it and assumed it belonged to someone else. Passing through the doorway she called out to the quiet house, “Hey there’s a parcel.” Arturo replied, “Hi ‘K’, it’s not mine.” Kaliope rushed to the toilet. Though it had been a long, hot bus ride home, she’d had a good day. Kaliope was on a mission to impress her bosses and her presentation today may have gone some way to help. Her dream relied on a promotion with a pay rise and then into her own apartment. As one of five sisters, she had shared her space her whole life and desperately wanted privacy. No more eavesdropping on arguments and people having sex, or worse, people listening to her having sex. No more sharing a bathroom; that would be heaven. Sitting there on the toilet she ran through what she needed to do for the evening meal. Kaliope loved to cook and loved trying new recipes and the boys were always keen to help her eat her creations, but what started out as a nice way to wind down, had become something of a burden. It became an expectation that Kaliope would cook, with much false adulation when she suggested it was someone else’s turn. The boys only contribution was takeaway, and that was delivered. Kaliope was looking forward to cooking for herself and perhaps a few select guests.

Sven pushed the key into the front door of the share-house and then into the hallway. He didn’t notice the plain brown package as he entered. The sun had set, and he missed it sitting there on the dark porch. Flicking the porch light on as he closed the door, he called out to the quiet house, “Hi, who’s home? ”Me,” called Arturo from his room. “In the kitchen Sven,” replied Kaliope. Entering the kitchen, he went over and pecked Kaliope on the cheek. “Hi ‘K’, how was your day.” ‘It was really good,” she replied. Sven and Kaliope, Kaliope and Sven, not quite a couple but they did have something going on, something not quite defined. Sven had travelled the world. As soon as he was old enough, he was on a ship and working and travelling. Now, while his work is not on ships, it still requires that he travel. He had spent the last eighteen months in Australia, and felt comfortable for once, like he’d found something he didn’t know he was looking for. Though love and a future together had never been discussed, the giant Swede really quite liked Kaliope’s ‘Aussie’ sensibility, she was funny and crude and laughed at her own jokes. He was hoping to change their relationship status to ‘relationship’. Sven was sure ‘K’ felt the same way.

Johnno, fell up the front steps of the share-house and found himself staring at a suspicious package, wrapped in brown paper sitting there near the door. “Why are you here?” he slurred at the parcel. Johnno had been down at the pub and thought he was being very quiet coming home, Arturo doesn’t like noise, but he misjudged the steps and found himself a victim of gravity. The door opened, with Arturo standing over him, wearing his usual disdainful look, “would you like a hand,” he said sarcastically, then turned and left. “No mate I’m good, but thanks for getting the door,” Johnno recovered himself somewhat and grabbing the parcel, stumbled in, leaving the front door wide open. “Don’t forget the door Johnno. You’ll let the mozzies in,” Kaliope called from the dining room. “Oh, shit yeah. Ok…’K’.” Johnno was the longest serving inhabitant of the asylum, he had the biggest room, did the least around the house, even paying someone to clean his room once a month. He was also the most likely to piss off someone enough to make them leave. Arturo would be one of them, but the rent was so cheap. Entering the dining room, he called “heads up,” and tossed the parcel toward the table. Sven easily caught it with his giant hands and gently placed it down in the middle of the table. “John, it could be delicate, you should be more careful.” Johnno shot back with, “You’re delicate, you should be more careful,” Sven started to get up, but Kaliope grabbed his arm to intervene, “Sven, you know better, Johnno’s an idiot when he’s drunk.” “John is an idiot all the time,” Sven added. “Fair call big man, I’m just an idiot. Is there any food left, K?” Johnno asked her as politely as his drunken mind would let him. “Sure, help yourself.” “Thank you Madame, and I promise to wash up,” Johnno said, knowing well he would do no such thing.

Kaliope picked up the parcel to inspect it more closely. Turning it around in her hands, checking each face of the cube-like object carefully, she finally found written in pencil ‘to the inhabitants of 24 Victoria St’. It was so small and faint that it took some angling under the dining room light to make it out. “Should we open it. It’s a bit vague, ‘The inhabitants’,” Sven was about to take it from her when Johnno came back in, chomping on a sandwich made from the remnants of Kaliope’s culinary creation. “I’m an inhabitant of this madhouse, I vote we open it.” “We were just about to. We should get Arturo though,” Sven said, putting the package down and leaving his hand there to stop Johnno touching it. Johnno leant over the dining table and glared at Sven in an attempt to invoke a reaction. “If you two are gunna have a pissing competition, take it outside, but leave the box. I’ll get Arty,” Kaliope interrupted the ridiculous posturing of the two men and clicking her tongue at them, left to find Arturo.

After dragging Arty out of his room, they were finally all seated around the table staring at the peculiar item. As no one seemed in a hurry to do anything, Kaliope picked it up again. “Wait, what if it is dangerous?” Sven asked the group. “Na, maybe it’s a gift for being good people, like drugs.” Johnno offered. Kaliope laughed at the thought of anyone thinking Johnno was good people. “Let’s find out, shall we,” she said, and began unwrapping it, being more careful than she normally would. Inside was a post-pack and inside that was an iPad and three neatly wrapped bundles of cash. Each bundle had $30,000 written on the plastic wrap. On the iPad was a post-it that read turn me on. A silence had fallen over the room and its inhabitants were scanning each other’s faces for some clue to understanding the situation. With a shrug of resignation, Kaliope brought the machine to life. A button in the middle was labelled press me, which she did. Within seconds a familiar face was staring back in a video file. She hit play. “Hi Kaliope, Sven, Arturo and John. Kaliope paused the video so they could all take stock of what was before them.

Ray Yuan was a former resident, who had stayed there for a few of years. He was there when Kaliope moved in and then Sven, Arturo took his place a year ago. He was a quiet man who kept to himself, seeing him there in front of her, reminded Kaliope, she’d had stayed too long. She hit play. “This seems all cloak and dagger I know but I needed to do this. The money is for three of you, which means one of you misses out. It’s you John. The housemates had moved closer to Kaliope for better vision, with Johnno standing up behind them. Johnno was immediately outraged and about express his disappointment, but the recording continued. “John, I know your secrets.” John was instantly backtracking, denying any possibility of anything, even before Ray could go on. “Before I go on, Hello Sven, it is good to see you again. Arturo is it, or is it, Ronald? It doesn’t matter, nice to meet you. The lovely Kaliope. Now back to you John. Everyone, John is very rich. He is the son of a wealthy property investor turned politician, who has since passed, leaving Johnno with an immense fortune of cash, stocks and property, which includes the house you all reside in. He is also in love with ‘K’. Is that about right John.” John was dumbstruck and retreated into the shadows of the room as the others watched him. He mouthed the word ‘sorry’ to Kaliope. Ray continued. “The money is for the rest of you. Arturo, I have been following your career and I like what you put out. Since I am in a position to help, I thought I would. Sven, you seem like a nice person, and I know you intimidated John which stopped him bothering me. He made my life hell when I lived there.” Shouting, “YOU’RE A DICK JOHN. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE YOU.” Ray went silent for a moment to regain his composure, then continued.

“Finally, Kaliope, you made my time there bearable. I always looked forward to seeing you come home from work. You brought a light to the darkness I was living in. I know I didn’t say much when I was there, your very presence took away my ability to form rational sentences. I decided silence was safer. The money is for you to get out of that madness. I know you crave solitude, and you deserve it, but I need you to know I care for you deeply. I lacked the courage to tell you then, but my life has changed dramatically. So, I would like to ask you on a date. My number will be displayed at the end of the video. I know it’s a weird way to do this, but I hope it’s not too weird for you. I created a video game in your honour, and it is installed on this machine. It’s call ‘Princess Kaliope, Skull Crusher’. I wait to hear from you.”

The video ended and Kaliope took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh, “Anyone else here, in love with me?” she asked. Arturo put up his hands in surrender, “I like you ‘K’, just not like that.” Sven started clearing his throat as if he was going to speak, but Kaliope put up her hand, “Sven don’t. I like you and it’s been fun, but I don’t see a future, I’m sorry.” “No, of course, it was never serious,” he said in agreement with her, though his eyes told a different story. “Johnno, I always thought you were an arsehole, but you’re more than that, you’re an entitled arsehole. I’m giving notice. I’ll be out as soon as I find another place.” Kaliope picked up the money and the iPad, went into the kitchen and dropped the machine in the half full sink. Returning to her room, she called to Johnno, “Don’t forget the washing up.”