Stephy's Big Blue Moose

Stephy’s Big Blue Moose

By

Adrian English

She was shorter than average with red hair and lots of freckles. Her overbite made her look like a mad rabbit. To compound the tragedy of her awkward appearance, the other kids just didn’t like her. They wouldn’t play with her. In fact, they would have much rather thrown rocks at her. She hadn’t possessed a true friend since her Aunt Rose had died.

Her older brother Grendel would take her on nature walks and she’d always stop at a certain spot and stare off into the woods. At that moment, the walk would be over. All Stephy wanted to do was stare.

“I can’t do anything with her!” shouted Grendel and he threw his sword into the air.

Old Man Crickrak, Stephy’s father, looked at his daughter sadly.

“What in the name of Haman’s Beard is wrong with you?” he muttered.

“She’s got a demon,” replied Ladia, Stephy’s mother. Crickrak scowled.

“How can you say that about your own daughter? You’re sick!” he said.

“Just look at her, husband! If you can’t see it, you’re in denial. Take her to the priest. I’m right. You’ll see.”

Crickrak eyed his daughter. She sat at a table and stared at her blocks. Crickrak shook his head. What kind of kid did not want to play with blocks? It just wasn’t normal.

“Alright. I’ll take her to the priest.”

“You’ll see. I’m telling ya, you’ll see.”

“Shut up, woman!” shouted Crickrak and he stormed out of the house.

Stephy continued to stare at the blocks. She did not care much for the conversation around her. However, she liked the blocks. They reminded her of the woods. Something odd lived in those woods. One day she’d find out what it was.

The chapel was a small, non-descript building at the edge of the village. People only visited when they had spiritual problems. Otherwise, they’d all but harass the local priest.

Crickrak led Stephy into the chapel. Its simple furnishings amused her.

The priest was a short, slightly balding man with an extremely large nose. Stephy wanted to laugh but then she remembered something and thought better of it. The priest eyed her curiously then glanced at Crickrak.

“So, this is the child who disturbs everyone,” he said.

“You already know?” asked Crickrak.

“As a priest, I hear about everything. I was wondering when you’d bring her in. What seems to be the problem?”

“My wife thinks that Stephy is possessed.”

The priest glanced at Stephy and crinkled his nose. He reached forward and touched Stephy’s forehead.

“She’s not possessed,” declared the priest.

Crickrak wanted to feel relieved, but the voice of Ladia’s incessant nagging prevented that.

“You sure?”

“Positive. If some foul spirit lived inside this sweet child of yours, I’d a known the moment she walked inside the chapel. Your daughter’s normal.”

“Normal? But she doesn’t talk and she’s always staring at things.”

The priest patted Stephy on the head.

“If only all children were that quiet. It’d be a blessing,” he said.

Crickrak sighed.

“I suppose you’re right. Thank you for your help, kind sir,” he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of copper coins. He gave them to the priest.

“Bless you,” said the priest with a smile. Crickrak nodded and took Stephy’s hand.

“Come on Stephy, let’s go home,” he said, and he led her out of the chapel.

Stephy wanted to go on a nature walk. She found Grendel in the yard playing with a wooden sword. She looked up at him and stared. Grendel felt his sister’s unnerving stare and glared back.

“Stop that!” he yelled.

Stephy pointed at the woods. Grendel looked at the woods and then back at Stephy.

“Nope. No way. I’m not taking you on a walk. All you ever want to do is stare at stuff.”

Stephy pointed at the woods again.

“No! You want to go on a walk—go by yourself!” screamed Grendel and he ran away. Stephy pondered for a minute. Grendel’s idea was the smartest thing he’d ever said, no small feat for someone not very smart to begin with. But Stephy was smart. She’d used those smarts to discover the odd thing that lived in the woods. She’d go on a nature walk by herself.

The woods were like any other woods in any other place. They had trees, flowers, animals that didn’t want to be seen, and bugs that went out of their way to be seen—and felt.

Stephy traced the path she’d always used. The beginning of the woods always felt normal. Then she reached the point of oddness. Stephy did what she always did whenever something caught her interest. She stared.

She stared and stared until the bushes rustled.

“Alright already! I’ll come out!” said a husky voice. A large, blue moose stepped out of the bushes. Stephy’s eyes widened. The moose eyed Stephy and snorted.

“Alright, kid—here I am. You wanted to see me so here I am. You and all your infernal staring. Forever staring. That stuff creeps me out.”

Stephy continued to stare at the moose. There was something oddly familiar about it.

“Stop staring at me! Aren’t you going to say something?”

Stephy smiled. She’d figured it out. No thanks to Grendel.

“I’ve never seen a blue moose before,” said Stephy. The moose sat on its haunches and laughed.

“Never seen a blue moose, she says. Kid, it’s a big world out there. Dragons, fairies, lecherous old men. Amazing, I tell you. A blue moose is nothing.”

“You talk like my Aunt Rose. She’s dead.”

The moose narrowed its eyes and sighed.

“I can see there’s no fooling you, kid. Come, sit by me, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Stephy felt that she could trust the moose, so she sat down next to it and snuggled with it.

“Aw, that’s sweet,” said the moose, “It’s like this, kid. I wasn’t exactly a role model unless you wanted to excel in the art of…um…man-pleasing. Ladia and I used to argue about that all the time. Remember?”

“I remember, Aunt Rose.”

“Good, good. I think the hag poisoned me. All I know is that one day I ate some of her stew and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was surrounded by flames and there was a horny, old guy who wanted to have his way with me. Well, I’ve always been pretty selective despite what Ladia said, so I told him no. He got mad and promised to make me regret it.

“Next thing you know, I’m in some woods. I see people walking by and I’d try to talk to them. I must’ve scared the daylights out of them. Do you know how many times this happened before I realized I’d become a giant blue moose?”

“A lot,” replied Stephy.

“You bet. They sent hunters after me, so I ran to these woods. Then I saw you with all your crazy staring.”

“I missed you, Aunt Rose.”

The moose sighed.

“I think you ought to go home now before your parents get worried. We can talk more tomorrow.”

“Okay, Aunt Rose,” said Stephy. She stood up and hugged the moose. Then she raced down the forest path with a huge grin on her face. She’d finally found a friend. So what if her Aunt Rose was trapped in a moose’s body. Aunt Rose would never let a small thing like that stop her.

Stephy entered the house. Ladia looked up from her knitting and smirked. Crickrak smiled warmly at his daughter.

“Stephy, I’ve been looking for you. Where did you go?” he asked.

“I went for a walk in the woods, Papa,” replied Stephy. Ladia dropped her needle. Crickrak’s eyes widened.

“Did she just speak?” asked Ladia.

“She did!” shouted Crickrak, “My daughter talks!”

Stephy stared at her father.

“Don’t do that! Now tell me—did you have fun in the woods?” asked Crickrak.

“I did, Papa. I met a big, blue moose who talked like Aunt Rose.”

Ladia’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh really? You mean to tell me that there’s a giant, blue moose running around the woods that suddenly finds my daughter and causes her to speak? Crickrak, I think that priest was lying.”

Stephy shook her head. Her eyes pled with Crickrak.

“Honest, Papa. I’m not lying. The moose even said Mama was bad.”

“I’ll show you bad!” shouted Ladia as she sprang at Stephy. Crickrak quickly blocked her path. His eyes blazed with boldness.

“Stop, Ladia. Don’t you see that Stephy is happy? When’s the last time you’ve heard her voice? I’d forgotten how sweet it sounded. Put your anger aside and share in your daughter’s happiness.”

Ladia’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Oh, alright,” she said as she glared at Stephy, “But sweet voice or not, sass me again and see what happens!”

Stephy clutched her father’s leg. He patted her on the head.

At the same time the next day, Stephy went out to the woods. This time, the blue moose was already waiting.

“So how did your day go?” asked the moose.

“Papa’s happy now because I talk but Mama’s mad. She doesn’t believe me when I talk about you,” replied Stephy.

“She wouldn’t. Ladia’s not very bright.”

Ladia just happened to be hiding in the bushes, listening. She wanted to be sure that Stephy wasn’t bewitched. But to hear that remark from THAT voice really set her on fire.

Ladia risked a look and discovered that the poor girl really did talk to a giant, blue moose. Worse, the moose really did possess her dead sister-in-law’s voice. That wouldn’t do at all.

Ladia crinkled her nose as she entered the tavern. It smelled of old beer, musty men, and cheap perfume. Drunken, young men and even more severely drunken, old men leered scandalously at her as she passed by. She turned up her nose and ignored them.

She found fat Barbastus tending the bar. He laughed when he saw her.

“Ladia! I haven’t seen you in years! They say you got married and had kids. They say you married Ro—”

“Don’t you dare mention her name in my presence!” snapped Ladia so loudly that everyone nearby stopped in their tracks just to see what all the clamor was about.

Barbastus frowned.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Shut up. I came here for information and possibly help.”

“Such matters are within my sphere of influence. What do you need to know?” asked Barbastus.

“I need to know if anyone’s said anything about a talking moose.”

Barbastus’s eyes narrowed.

“Why? Have you seen it?” he asked. Ladia smirked.

“The Great Mebos has been contracted by the King to kill the creature. Many think it’s a demon,” started Barbastus.

The fat bartender grinned. Ladia stormed out of the tavern. No giant, blue moose was going to corrupt her daughter. Especially one that talked like Rose.

Mebos arrived a week later. By then, the whole town was abuzz with chatter of how Stephy had started talking. She still didn’t have any friends. On the contrary, the others only thought Stephy even stranger now. She didn’t care. She had the one friend she needed—a big, blue moose.

She entered her house and found Crickrak in his favorite chair, frowning. Ladia played the happy hostess for a muscular, blond man in chain mail. Stephy got the feeling that something was dreadfully wrong.

Ladia glimpsed her daughter and smiled.

“Dear, do sit down. This nice man came to talk to you.”

Stephy sat down and eyed the stranger. He smiled.

“Now, Stephy—tell the man about your friend,” instructed Ladia.

“Mama, you know I don’t have any friends,” replied Stephy. The man laughed. Crickrak shook his head.

“No good will come of this,” he said, and Ladia scowled.

“Now is not the time for games, Stephy. Tell Mebos about your friend—the moose,” she ordered.

“You’ve seen her?” asked Stephy. Ladia nodded triumphantly.

“Oh dear,” muttered Crickrak.

“The question is young lady; do you know where it is, and can you show me?” asked Mebos. Stephy eyed the big man. Yes, something was indeed dreadfully wrong, and it involved the moose. Stephy thought about lying until she remembered how mad Ladia could get. Stephy had no choice but to tell the truth and hope for the best.

“Oh alright, I’ll show you,” said Stephy softly. Mebos smiled. Ladia seemed to burst at the seams with thoughts of retribution. Never mind the fact that the object of her ire was technically dead.

“Follow me,” said Stephy. Mebos, Ladia, and Crickrak trailed Stephy out of the house and into the woods. Stephy came to her spot, but the moose wasn’t there.

“There’s nobody here,” said Crickrak with relief. In his mind, this had gone too far. He knew Mebos’s intentions. Such an act would permanently scar Stephy. In fact, Crickrak had already steeled himself for the possibility.

“Indeed. Nobody here but us,” said Mebos, rather disappointed.

Ladia looked ready to boil over.

“Stop playing games, Stephy! Where is she?”

“Hold on, Mama,” urged Stephy. She turned and stared at a certain spot in the woods. Things were quiet for a minute then the bushes rustled.

“Someone’s coming,” said Ladia.

“Indeed,” said Mebos. His hand fell to the hilt of his sword.

The big, blue moose emerged from the woods.

“Stephy! Twice in one day? Something must be—”

The moose eyed Stephy’s company.

“—wrong.”

“That moose talks like my sister,” said Crickrak, disturbed.

“Crickrak, is that you?” asked the moose.

“That moose is my sister,” said Crickrak softly. That was all Ladia wanted to hear. She jumped in the moose’s face.

“Rose, how dare you! You can’t even stay dead! You have to come back and ruin my life by corrupting my daughter!”

“Ladia, you don’t even love the girl. Besides, I’m dead, remember? You killed me. I don’t have to care what you think anymore.”

“As if you ever did care all the time, you were out switching your tail, carrying on like a ---”

“Excuse me,” interrupted Mebos, “I have a job to do.” He drew his sword.

“That can wait,” said Ladia, “I want to give this foul-mouthed moose a piece of my mind.”

Crickrak looked down at Stephy. The girl was frowning. She seemed upset by everything. Crickrak would’ve been upset too but this was all too bizarre for him to understand.

The bushes rustled again. A naked, red man with two shiny, golden horns protruding from his head stepped out of the bushes.

“Hello everybody!” he announced.

“Whoa,” muttered Stephy.

“Stephy, cover your eyes!” shouted Ladia. Stephy did as she was told.

“Oh. Sorry about that,” said the man. He snapped his fingers, and his body was covered by a fine, velvet robe.

“You!” shouted the moose. The man grinned.

“Yes, it’s me,” he replied.

“What’s the meaning of all of this?” shouted Mebos as he started to grow impatient.

The man sauntered up to Mebos and placed a reassuring hand on the big man’s shoulder.

“Just hold your peace a little longer, noble sir, and I guarantee that you will fulfill your contract,” he said.

“Okay,” said Mebos with a shrug. The man then turned to the moose and grinned.

“I seemed to have made a mistake with you. I wanted misery and suffering, not family drama. But at least you’ve given me a way to rectify the matter,” he said and then he winked at Ladia.

“Whatever are you talking about?” asked Ladia.

The man pointed a bony finger at Ladia.

“You want a way out of the sheer boredom your life has become.”

He pointed at the moose.

“You care for that adorable, little girl over there and you wish you were her mother.”

He pointed at Mebos.

“You want to kill a talking animal.”

He pointed at Crickrak.

“You just want to see your daughter happy.”

Finally, he pointed at Stephy.

“And you ‘ol sweet, little girl—you just want a friend.”

The man straightened up.

“Now don’t tell anybody about this, about what I’m getting ready to do. If word got out, I’d be ruined. This is a rarity. I just don’t do this sort of thing. I’m about to give everybody what they want!” he proclaimed then winked at Ladia.

“Well, maybe not everybody,” he said. He snapped his fingers and vanished.

“Well, I never! I’m glad that’s over. Mebos, get to it!” shouted Ladia.

“With pleasure,” stated Mebos and he raised his sword at Ladia.

“Aunt Rose!” shouted Stephy and she ran to hug her aunt. Crickrak smiled.

“Well, I’ll be,” he said.

“Hey!” shouted Ladia. She watched Stephy hug Rose, only Rose wasn’t a moose and yet Mebos stood poised to cut down a talking animal. But who?

“Oh dear,” muttered Ladia and then she died. Mebos grabbed the moose’s head and held it up. Aunt Rose smiled.

“You ought to mount that,” she said.

“Indeed. I think I will,” said Mebos and he grinned.

Rose turned to Crickrak.

“Happy?”

Crickrak looked down at his beaming daughter.

“I believe I am.”

Rose glanced at Stephy.

“And you, Stephy—are you happy?”

“I’m really happy!” exclaimed Stephy.

Rose hugged both her brother and her niece.

“Good. Let’s go home. I’m hungry. You have no idea how good it feels to eat something other than grass for a change,” she said.