Some Like It Hot

Tamara settled in at the front table in the cafeteria during before care, nibbling on her breakfast bar. She perked up and suddenly announced, “I set a deer on fire before.”

Serena blinked slowly, trying to process the spontaneous, strange, and new information, and asked, “You set a deer on fire?”

“Yep!” Tamara declared triumphantly with a nod.

“Why would you set a deer on fire?”

Eyes aglow in excitement, Tamara relished the retelling of her tale. “I love fire! I doused the deer in lighter fluid and set it ablaze!” she gushed.

Serena was stunned silent, unsure of how to react. She couldn’t fathom what lying about the tale would accomplish, but it seemed too outlandish to be true. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to process it all and assemble some form of a response.

Tamara was more than pleased to continue, unperturbed by the quiet and missing reply. “Yeah, my dad told me not to set it on fire. I didn’t listen,” she began. “Annnnddd then there was the time when I set a tree on fire. A worker had come over to cut down the tree in our yard. My dad was talking with the worker and told me not to set it on fire before he left. While they were distracted, I ran over, soaking the tree in lighter fluid, and set it on fire. My dad had to put the fire out with the hose. I asked the worker if I could set the tree on fire again, but he told me not to,” Tamara disclosed, disappointed with how the memory concluded.

“If the worker was going to cut it down, why would you need to set it on fire?” Serena inquired.

“Because it’s fire,” Tamara proclaimed matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “There was also the time I set sissy’s favorite shirt on fire in the driveway. I had to leap into the pool to escape her wrath. It was so much fun!” Tamara giggled, pleased with the destruction of her sister’s former favorite shirt.

Serena sat at the table in disbelief. Eyeing Tamara’s older sister, Trinity, who was rummaging around in her backpack. Looking for clarification, she asked, “Trinity, is all this true? Has Tamara set all of those things on fire?”

Popping her head out of her backpack, Trinity brought her plushies to the table and settled before confirming, “Yeah, Tamara has a particular passion for fire. She did actually set my favorite shirt on fire. I miss that shirt. Also set the tree on fire. However,” she divulged, “Tamara attempted to set the deer on fire, but it kept running away, thwarting her attempts. Ultimately, it jumped into our pool before fleeing.”

Serena couldn’t believe her ears. Sure, she recognized that there are all sorts of people in the world, but Tamara’s affinity for fire seemed rather hazardous, as she at least attempted to set living things ablaze. It was concerning to say the least.

“Maybe your parents should lock up the matches and lighters,” Serena suggested in hopes of preventing any unnecessary fires to anything, living or not.

Tamara laughed out loud and confidently announced, “They’ve tried, but I know all the password combinations because my mom uses family birthdays—I know all the family birthdays! It doesn’t even matter if she puts a lock on the drawer; I’d find a way in.”

That prospect was troubling, but Serena reckoned that there had to be some solution. “What if your mom used a false bottom for the drawer so that you wouldn’t even know the matches and lighters were there because you couldn’t see them?” she proposed.

“Oh, I would know it,” Tamara claimed. “Besides, I already know about all false bottoms.”

Serena debated the validity of the claim. Most second graders didn’t seem familiar with the concept of false bottoms, so she questioned the likelihood of Tamara’s claim. Trinity was immersed in playing with her plushies, so there wouldn’t be much point in asking her—Trinity was lost to her own world at the moment. Tamara’s storytelling was bizarre, but at least it was interesting. It definitely livened up the morning, and Tamara was definitely enthusiastic about it. Perhaps, she would grow out of her fire fixation, or maybe she might pursue fire dancing later in life. Whatever Tamara chose to pursue, Serena wished her well, hoping everything and everyone made it out safely.