So Cliche'

Jack awoke feeling fit as a fiddle and as happy as a clam at high tide. He thought, "Today, I will not bury my head in the sand. Today, I will get what's coming to me."

Typically, if Jack had no bad luck, he'd have no luck at all. A leopard doesn't change its spots, so the minute he tried to fix breakfast, he realized he had put all of his eggs in one basket, which he then dropped on the floor. Oatmeal was out, because he knew that a watched pot never boils. Jack glanced at the photo on the fridge of his father eating an apple and it was as if a lightbulb went off over his head. He said, "A picture is worth a thousand words." So, he grabbed an apple off the counter and crunched into it, reasoning that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. He held it up to the picture and said, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Pa."

Jack was determined to be as happy as a kid in a candy store, but to do that, he had to win the heart of his crush, Rose, because all you need is love. Jack knew that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, yet his Rose was as good as Gold. She had a face that only a mother could love, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Jack got busy as a bee earning money for a gift for Rose. Although a penny saved is a penny earned, he knew that money can't buy you love. Yet, actions speak louder than words. Some of the chores he took on made him feel like a fish out of water, but he was as determined as a dog chasing a cat. He raked, mowed, and cleaned, but his standard policy was, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

In the end, he was a Jack of all trades, master of none, but bet your bottom dollar he got enough for Rose's present. Only time would tell if Rose would be pleased as punch with his purchase. Since she was a bookworm, and they were on the same page, he chose the oldest trick in the book - well, an old book from the used bookstore. He decided to throw the book at her.

As Jack approached Rose's home, she could see him coming from a mile away. She remembered that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so she waited by the door with a tray containing a piece of cake and a glass of milk.

The minute Jack stood poised to knock on Rose's door seemed to last an eternity. He wanted nerves of steel but ended up with a war of nerves. "Heck!" he screamed to himself, "All's fair in love and war." He chose to be as brave as a lion instead of timid as a mouse. He knocked on wood, knotty pine.

The door flung wide open. Rose was smiling like the cat that ate the canary. Jack froze like a deer in headlights.

Rose tipped her head like the RCA Victor dog and asked, "Cat got your tongue?" as she handed him the tray.

Jack's hand was shaking like a scared dog, and the glass tipped over. Rose took the empty glass and murmured, "No sense crying over spilled milk. Go on, you can't have your cake and eat it too, so eat it."

Jack bit off more than he could chew, but Rose took the book without judging it by its cover. She read between the lines. What comes, around goes around.

The two don't kiss and tell, but in a nutshell, they became lovebirds.

All's well that ends well.

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My goal with this piece was to include at least one cliché in every sentence.