Shooting the Bull

Winter came. It came out of nowhere. Yeah, it started gradually getting cold, but yesterday was sunny and kinda warm. Pure white snow floating down from the sky and now there is white everywhere. I basically live in the city, but I leave during the winter. And I know that white snow is going to start looking like shit soon. Where does the snow come from? I’m not too sure, but I’m sure I hate winter. Everything is frozen and it’s fucking cold.

My crew and I are probably just gonna chill here to do some people watching before we head out. People are insane. I don’t think most people realize how fucking nuts they are. I mean nothing really makes any sense. Think about it. Polluting and damaging the environment in almost every way possible. I mean everyone has cars now and that shit pumps out pollution. You can see massive factories spewing out clouds of smoke. Is that how clouds are made? I really don’t know. All I know is that when I get near it it makes me cough and it burns my eyes. And people are all fine with this. Then you’ll see some asshole who’s picking up some litter acting like he’s doing the Earth justice. Even though the city is one giant slab of litter. Picking up litter in litter. It sounds ridiculous. Matter of fact, I just saw some asshole that picked up a half buried bottle in the snow and threw it in the trash. Did that really make him feel better about himself? I guess so. Cause why else would he do it? And while I was pondering this, my friend Daffy interrupted me.

“Hey Donald.”

“What is it?”

“Did you see the children throwing themselves into the snow like savages?”

“No, I missed that. I was wondering why that guy picked up litter and threw it in the trash.”

“Yeah. That doesn’t make sense. When do you want to head out?”

“I don’t know. Go ask someone else.” I like Daffy and all except that he always asks me like I’m the leader. I don’t mind being a leader at certain times, but not every time. For instance, if I’m hungry and I want to get food then I go get food and they follow. They always follow me like I’m the Alpha of the group. I honestly don’t care to be the Alpha and in a way that’s Alpha thinking. I just do what I want whenever I want. The problem is that’s definitely Alpha thinking. I didn’t even have to fight anyone to be the Alpha. They somehow just agreed. That’s how Alpha I am. I should go and find another group to hangout with and act like a Beta. That way they wouldn’t be following me and asking me what to do all the time. Again, Daffy interrupted me.

“Hey Donald.”

“What?”

“Nobody knows when to headout.”

“Well then just stay here for now.”

“Ok.”

I’m kind of used to the leadership thing, so it’s really not the worst thing anymore. It’s only when I’m thinking about something I want to think about and I get interrupted. Now, I was looking at Daffy since he asked me a question. Honestly, I don’t mind Daffy. He’s not all that bad, just kinda annoying at times. But his white coat has lots of stains on it. Why doesn’t he clean it? If he wants to get some girls then he needs to clean it. I’ve mentioned it to him before cause that’s what a good friend does. He gets a little offended and changes the topic and it’s not even a smooth transition. The thing is if your friend looks like shit then you tell them they look like shit. Not to hurt their feelings. It’s so that they don’t embarrass themselves out in public. I’d sure hope my friend would tell me if I looked like shit. It hasn’t happened yet since I take care of myself. Maybe I should dirty myself on purpose and see what they’d say. They might be too afraid to offend me since I’m the Alpha, but I’m nice to them, so they shouldn’t be. Who knows maybe I’ll do it one day when I get bored. Right now I’m not bored cause I was having fun people watching until Daffy interrupted me.

So I went back to watching the people of New York City. I didn’t mention that before but that’s where I live. A huge hunk of concrete spanning miles and miles with millions of people that help the city pollute the Earth. That’s what I was originally thinking about before Daffy interrupted me.

Then I saw an unopened bag of chips in a field next to a frozen pond at Central Park and I got up and left. I was feeling kinda hungry and that’s some free food, so why not? I already knew the boys would follow me since that’s what they do. Follow me everywhere. I also knew that they were hungry like me, so they’re going to want some of the chips. But it’s only one bag. The thing is, I’m a nice guy. I mean it. They know that I’m going to share it with them even though they could easily steal food from people or find some. They could even steal money and buy some if they were smart. I got the bag and brought it to the bench which was in front of a frozen pond. We all started eating.

“Wow, this is good.” Eddie said.

“Yeah, I was starving.” Vince said.

“Same.” Daffy said.

“Why didn’t you guys go get some food before me?” I said. That is exactly what I was talking about. They were hungry but they waited for me. I never even boss them around.

“Didn’t really feel that hungry.” Eddie said.

“Yeah ,what he said.” Vince and Daffy said.

Then I started shooting the bull cause I didn’t feel like talking to them. I had no idea what I was saying but words were coming out of my mouth and some sort of conversation happened. What I really wanted was to just enjoy a few chips in peace. Which means by myself. I started staring at the frozen pond and fantasizing swimming in it during summer. I already miss summer and it felt like summer yesterday. All you need is some nice warm sunlight with a slight cool breeze while you're swimming in the water. Doesn’t get much better than that.

While I was fantasizing, I heard something. New York is a loud city. You get used to that real fast. But I swear I heard a truck drive by while I was fantasizing. I mean I was shooting the bull with the boys and there was a lot of chatter going on, but it didn’t phase me from my fantasies. But this truck sounded like it got real close. Then out of nowhere we all got scooped up by a net. It really did happen. Everyone started freaking out and screaming, but I was only startled. None of us knew what scooped us up. Shit like this has never happened before. We then found ourselves in the back of a truck inside a large cage.

“Holy shit! What the hell just happened! Get me out of here!” yelled Daffy.

“I don’t know, but you need to relax.” I said.

“Relax?!” they all screamed.

“Yeah, I mean this isn’t even real, so calm down.” I said.

“What?!” they all screamed again.

“It’s too hard to explain. We’re thoughts of some guy. And I think he might have some decent thoughts.” I said.

“What?” they all said, confused.

“What are you talking about?!” Daffy yelled.

“Just wait and let’s see what happens.” I said.

We were bouncing in the back of the truck. They all looked terrified except me. It really goes to show that I’m Alpha. Then I started to wonder where we were being taken. I honestly had no clue. At least it was warmer in the truck. It started getting really cold outside. Then the truck finally stopped.

The trunk opened and there was a man in some raggy uniform with a hat that read ‘Central Park Zoo’.

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted and I heard Old Spencer bring me back to reality by asking me a question. I guess I can’t shoot the bull any longer...