Sheriff

My best friend, the incomparable ranger Marion Fletcher, insists that our group can't decamp until we've had a proper breakfast. She trapped two pheasants and is frying them in a cast iron skillet over our fire. The scent of the game birds mingles enticingly with the fresh herbs Eliza Rivers, mistress of nature, foraged this morning.

Alice Cross takes this time to sharpen her longsword and polish her armor. Isobel Hansom lounges by the fire in wolf form, her yellow eyes fixed on our prisoner, the young and deadly Princess Blanche.

(See installments 1, 2, and 3.)

Fredericia Forestay studies a map of the kingdom, uncharacteristically brooding and silent.

I sit beside Fredericia and pull a bundle of papers from my pocket. "When we were at the Midway Inn last night, before Octavia stole your voice, I saw a bunch of wanted posters for members of the Enchantment Liberation Front," I explain.

I show Fredericia her woodcut portrait, accompanied with the words: "Wanted: Fredericia 'Fred' Forestay. Beware her voice. Reward, 150gp."

Then I bring up my own wanted poster, which includes a reward of fifty gold pieces to anyone who brings substantiated evidence of my whereabouts to the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Fredericia nods with a determined air. She points to our location on the map and traces a route that steers us clear of the Midway, connects us upstream with the Caerleon River, and leads us into Nottingham.

"Good thinking," I say. "But how are the six of us and our prisoner going to sneak into a highly guarded fortress where the local lord has bounties on our heads?"

Fredericia smiles.

The sun hasn't yet reached its peak when the high stone walls of Nottingham Fortress come into view. I drive the cart, disguised with a false beard. My old red hood drapes over Princess Blanche's gagged mouth and bound arms. Alice and Marion also ride in the cart, their hands loosely wrapped in rope so it looks like they're also my captives. Isobel sits beside me in wolf form, and Eliza hides in the cart in frog form.

Fredericia has exchanged her human legs for her mermaid tail; she swims upstream in the deep, swift river waters.

We approach the southern wall of the fortress, which straddles the river. Iron bars extend down into the water, too close together for most humans to wiggle through. It takes a moment for Fredericia to dive down and dig her way below the bars. Humans certainly couldn't hold their breath long enough to do it, but the task is nothing for her. She surfaces on the inside and nods to us.

I drive around to the east wall, where two guards stand before a gate. "State your name and purpose!"

"I am Finley Elwes," I lie. "I have captured Robin Wood, Marion Fletcher, and another dissident from the E.L.F. I have come to collect my reward."

The first guard laughs. "That's the third red riding hood we've seen this week."

"I don't know, Carl," the other guard says. "I was with Sheriff Sellers the night Robin Wood's merry thieves stole a buck right off Guy of Gisbourne's cooking fire."

I swallow down my panic and stroke my "beard" as if in a thoughtful manner, making sure it stays on.

The second guard continues, "That one there does look like Maid Marion."

Marion gives the guard a disdainful glance. "I don't recognize you at all."

"We fenced for two minutes, mum," he says. "It was the best match of my life."

Marion says dryly, "Much obliged, I'm sure."

The guards open the gate and congratulate me on my bounty.

Inside Nottingham Fortress, I see the river continue north to the manor house, which strides the water in a magnificent feat of completely unnecessary architectural engineering.

"Wow," Alice says, impressed.

"That's Sheriff Sellers for you," I tell her. "Nine hundred and ninety-nine people out of a thousand would build on higher ground, or at least stick to one bank and raise the foundations in case of a flood."

"I hadn't even thought of that," Alice says. "So why do it this way?"

"Because he can," Marion answers. "Alan feels the need to tell everyone how rich and powerful he is, at every moment."

"Alan?" Alice asks with interest.

"Sellers," Marion says quickly. Then she adds the more formal, "The Sheriff."

Alice doesn't press for more information.

Stables and a farrier shop line the wall to our left. Opposite us, across a small wooden bridge, stand a barracks and a few well-appointed cottages. To our right stand a cook fire and some utilitarian stalls.

I drive the cart up towards the manor house, occasionally nodding and waving to the trades workers who stare at me. Isobel stays low, wagging her tail in an attempt to pass for a dog. Fredericia keeps below the surface of the river, unnoticed.

A butler in Nottingham's cobalt and dark gray livery greets us before the door. He bows to Marion. "Miss Fletcher, good mo--"

His pleasantries get lost in the sounds of a commotion in the water. Long, red, suckered octopus-arms churn the river. We see the flash of an iridescent mermaid tail.

"Fred!" Alice bellows. She drops her ropes and leaps down from the cart, sword drawn. Our cover is blown.

"Alice!" Marion scolds her.

The sheriff's guards close in around us. Isobel leaps from the cart and tackles one. I see another aim her bow and arrow at my werewolf friend. I throw a knife and manage to hit the archer's hand.

A heavy blow lands where my left shoulder meets my neck. As I fall, I have a brief glance of Princess Blanche's sparkling dark eyes, peering out of the red hood. The girl looks scared. I want to reassure her that she'll be all right, but darkness swallows me.

"Where am I?" escapes my mouth before I am fully awake. No one answers. I examine my surroundings.

The stone walls' only features are two thin archer's windows and a heavy wooden door. I've got a straw pallet, a chamber pot, and my own clothes. My bag and weapons are gone. The false beard dangles off my face and I simply remove it the rest of the way.

I hear the peep of a treefrog. Eliza climbs into one of the narrow windows and peeps again. She steps into my cell, reverting to human form.

"Red! You're alive!" She hugs me.

"Alive and very pleased to see you!" I tell her. "Do you know where the others are?"

"Sheriff Sellers' guards took you, Fred, Marion, and Snow White," Eliza explains. "I don't know where Alice and Isobel wound up. I hope they're together."

"We'll find them," I assert. "Can you get me out of here?"

Eliza says, "Just a minute."

She transforms back into frog shape and climbs out the archer's window. After a few moments, I can hear the bar on the other side of my door scraping and falling to the floor.

Eliza and I climb down the tower steps and make our way to the top floor of the manor house. We find the largest bedroom, where Sheriff Sellers had mounted weapons all over the walls. My knives and daggers are in a place of honor over his headboard. Beside them sit Marion's bow and the quiver of white arrows she had won off Princess Blanche's Huntsman. Fredericia's shortsword and harmonica hang on the opposite wall, beside the door.

Eliza and I retrieve my and our friends' belongings. We continue down the hall, where Octavia Jibsheet's voice catches our attention.

"...Get it back if you defect from the Front," Octavia says behind a closed door. "Just swear your allegiance to the Fairy Godmother. It isn't like it actually matters who is in charge of the kingdoms."

I open the door and find Fredericia tied with her hands above her head to a post of a large bed. Octavia stands between us. Both gape as Eliza and I enter.

Octavia points her hand in my direction but Fredericia kicks her arm. Her blast of boiling blue energy hits the ceiling, peeling its paint.

Eliza's club glows with a mystic green energy. She slams Octavia's side.

Octavia yelps and falls over. I step over her and cut Fredericia free. I give my friend her sword and harmonica.

Octavia stays on the floor and puts up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I'm outmatched," she says. "I know it."

Fredericia grabs a seashell necklace off Octavia's throat, throws it to the ground, and stomps on it.

Nothing happens.

Fredericia glares at Octavia and points her blade threateningly.

"That was my Sylvan-Speak Necklace," Octavia complains. "My patron gave it to me!"

Fredericia gestures impatiently.

"I don't have it," Octavia says. "I gave your voice to Sheriff Sellers. He was supposed to give me fifty gold pieces for it, but--"

Eliza snaps, "We don't care if you got paid or not! This is a matter of Good versus Evil."

"Of course it is," Octavia sneers. "Both sides think they're Good, and both look down on those of us who are just trying to shift for ourselves."

I shake my head. "There's no getting through to her," I say. "Let's tie her up, gag her, and move on."

As we walk down the stairs, we hear a knock at the front door. We watch as the butler opens the door to Alice and Isobel. A group of Nottingham guards lie dead and/or unconscious behind them.

The butler bows politely. "Good afternoon, madams. My master is in the sitting room. How shall I announce you?"

I step forward. "Don't worry, I can do it."

"Red!" Isobel smiles.

"You're alive!" Alice beams.

I greet them, then tell the butler, "Now would be an excellent time for you, and as many servants as possible, to take a nice long break."

He smiles and says, "As you command. Miss Fletcher is in the sitting room with Mr Sellers. Please take good care of her."

"With pleasure."

He nods to my friends and leaves.

I open the sitting room door. Inside, I see Marion tied to a wooden chair in the center of the floor. Sellers stands with his back to us, his arm around Princess Blanche's shoulders.

"Not now, Baddeley," Sellers says without turning around. Then he continues his instructions to the fourteen-year-old: "All right, Snow White, now purse your lips close together. Like you're going to whistle. Focus that poison-breath into as small a stream as possible."

"I don't like this…" Princess Blanche hesitates.

"I wouldn't, either," I say, stepping in.

Sellers and Princess Blanche turn. I see clear relief on the girl's face.

My friends enter the room around me. Alice strides forward, brandishes her longsword and declares, "Yield, agents of evil! Or in the name of the White Rabbit, I will strike you down!"

Sellers stares at her intensely.

Alice's brow furrows. "Well? Do you surrender?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" he asks.

Alice's blade lowers a little. "You're making this weird."

"I've been very bad," he says. He steps towards her and drops to one knee. "Step on me, smite me, do what you will with me, Mother! Just tell me your name."

Alice rallies and holds her sword in a threatening position again. "I am Alice Cross, Bladeservant to the White Rabbit. In his name I shall promote Order and protect the world's precious Wonders."

Sellers stares up at her and says, "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Alice looks to me, then to Marion, who sits patiently as Princess Blanche releases her bonds.

"Is this fellow joking?" Alice asks.

"I don't even know anymore," I admit.

Marion stands. "Thanks, Snow," she says.

"Alas!" Sellers declares. "My erstwhile fiancée! Maid Marion, I am afraid that if Alice should accept my proposals, I must break faith with you. Do forgive me."

Marion gives me a serious look. "I'm not usually a fan of extrajudicial killings, but…"

Isobel and Eliza laugh. Fredericia blasts a few annoyed notes on her harmonica, as if to call attention back to her cursed state.

Alice demands, "What did you do with Fred's voice?"

Sellers answers, "I sent it on to Royal City."

Fredericia tugs on my sleeve.

"Are we going to kill him?" Isobel asks.

"I am not going to have this conversation every time we get the better of our enemies!" I snap. I tell Isobel, "We aren't going on a murder-spree." I tell Alice, "We don't have the time to properly reform each and every one of the Fairy Godmother's lieutenants." I tell them all, "Let's leave him in the cell he put me in."

We throw Sellers in place. Before we close and bolt the heavy door, Princess Blanche uses her poison-breath to make his skin break out in painful, itchy hives. She even tells Baddeley and the other servants that the Sheriff has given them two days off in celebration of his new betrothal.

"I didn't agree to that," Alice mutters.

"None of us thinks you're engaged," I tell her.

"I didn't agree to be fake-engaged."

"A little subterfuge can go a long way for the Front," I say. She makes no further objections.

Princess Blanche comes with us willingly now, and we don't tie or gag her. Marion claims that the girl had been terrified of Sellers. She even behaved protectively towards Marion. So, maybe we do have time to reform one of the Fairy Godmother's lieutenants. Maybe.

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