She is trying

“Whore,” an elderly woman whispered at her husband from behind her hand.

Faith Pennies overheard this, but out of politeness pretended like she hadn’t. The woman who had uttered the profanity was a church acquaintance that had made no acknowledgment towards Faith, so faith slowed her shopping cart and pretended to compare pasta prices. She slowed her breathing and opened her ears for potential tidbits of gossip, but the woman had ceased speaking to her husband. This could only mean one thing. The woman had been talking about her.

Upset flared in Faith’s chest as she threw a box of elbow noodles into the cart making the whispering old bitty jump. "Good!" faith thought as she shuffled down the aisle towards sauces. “Why would Miss Williams call her a whore?” Faith wondered. She looked down and inspected her outfit. The girls weren’t out on display, and she was covered up more than necessary for a warm spring day. She was over thinking it she knew. “She must have known I was snooping, and it was something very personal to her,” Faith reasoned and continued on.

In the next row over she ran into one of her bridge friends, Denise Smith. “Fancy meeting you here. Am I going to see you at bridge next week?” Faith greeted Denise.

Denise looked like a mouse cornered by a cat. She looked this way and that for an excuse and finally settled on, “I think our daughter is coming up from college that weekend, so I won't be going, sorry. Give my best to your husband.”

Faith could tell she was dodging something but let it go for the time being. She would find out later. “I get it. I miss my girls too. If they ever came to visit, I would cancel all my plans too.”

“Right,” Denise drew the word out uncomfortably, “Well, I better get the rest of what's on my list so I can start cooking all her favorites.”

“Good seeing you!” Faith said as a goodbye.

Before they could move past each other, another woman, they both knew from their stain glass ministry group, was turning into their view. Faith watched as Denise’s eyes went wide with panic. Denise, shot away from faith as if they were strangers and she had been appalled by Faith’s informal address of her.

Faith watched as the two women disappeared in the next aisle. She was not overthinking this. Something was up and she wondered what that something was. Very worried and curiously upset she put her eavesdropping skills to the test. She positioned herself out of site on the end of the aisle and picked up a random box. She turned it over and squinted like she was reading the label, but a keen observer would notice that she leaned towards the women who conversed over beans and tortilla shells on the next row over.

Faith couldn’t hear every word they spoke, but she heard enough to go cross eyed. She caught snippets of, “Can you believe the audacity of her?” “No wonder her girls don’t visit.” and “I changed bridge night to my house if you are interested.” "We are going to need a second now that she is DEFINITELY out."

Embarrassment, shame and then anger washed over Faith as she listened. Why had her community turned on her like this. What had she done? It took everything in her not to go up and confront the women. She needed to find out what was going on before she could strike. With resolve Faith powered through the rest of her shopping trying not to be bothered by the whispers that followed her with each passing.

Once she was at home and had unpacked her groceries, she sat at the warn wood table with a coffee mug full of wine to have a think. What could she have possibly done to deserve this sort of shunning? She had been a part of many social blunders in her day, but none that would warrant such rude treatment.

Faith went to church several times a week for sermons, church study, ministry projects and charity work. She could be petty at times, and she was for sure a gossip, but she was no less nosy than the other ladies in her community. Nor did she cavort about in unscrupulous ways. She was a dutiful wife a faithful friend and a pilar in her community, so whatever was condemning her had to be a lie.

Stumped as to why this was happening Faith called her best friend Becky. Worry filled Faith as the phone rang past the fifth ring and onto her voicemail. It was rare for Becky to ignore her calls. Her judgment, cloudy with unease and confusion, forced her to dial her friend again. This time it went straight to voicemail! Disbelief and horror shorted Faith’s sense. She stared in abhorrent skepticism.

Then a text appeared, and the anxiety left her a moment.

The text read: “I have company over. I will call you when no one is around.”

Faith had really fucked up. The fact that Denise, her best friend since grade school, didn’t want anyone knowing she was talking to her was a sign Faith was in big trouble. Too worked up to wait for her friend to call she texted instead, “What have I done to deserve this?”

Faith took fortifying gulps while she waited for a reply. It came when she had gulped down most of the mug wine.

“Go watch your show again.” Was the reply.

At first Faith was puzzled. What did that mean and was picking up her phone to ask just that when it dawned on her.

Oh. OH? OH, ooooooh!

It was her facebook live show she had started. That must have been what her friend was talking about. Still, Faith did not understand, yet, so she went to her computer and opened up her account.

Faith had been having issues connecting with her daughters and had found they responded to her more in memes and funny videos than they had with calls, letters, emails or text messages. However, the exchange of laughs was not the only thing a mother wished to share with her daughters. Even though they had moved past her onto greater aspects of life she still wished to teach them the finer things in life like the proper way to fold a sheet or the secret ingredient to their favorite meals. Her live videos had been her way of reaching out to them.

Many of her friends and acquaintances found this idea charming and had been following her progress avidly. Yesterday’s video launch included an intro her friends had made for her birthday specifically for her facebook live and youtube videos. Maybe they had slipped some unsavory pictures into the beginning. Admittedly, Faith hadn’t really watched it all the way through, and she was kicking herself for that.

She opened up the video from her live stream and began watching. She recorded the video directly from her computer that she mounted on a stand in the corner part of her kitchen. The image was low resolution she knew, but she was not tech savvy enough to convert a video file onto the facebook. She apparently was not savvy enough to get the intro video to play on her live feed either.

The video did not show her intro at all. It showed her clicking away at something on her desktop and then staring at the screen. In the video her husband came into the frame and began talking. At the time her mic had been muted because she thought everyone was watching the intro. She knew what she had been saying to her husband at the time though and she knew what came next.

Disgusted with herself and too mortified to face the truth she slammed the laptop lid closed. Faith got up and took her large Starbucks tumbler from the cabinet. She opened a new bottle of wine and poured the whole bottle in. If only alcohol could wipe the internet the way, it wiped out her mind.

“Lord, Please help me,” she prayed into her first sip.

Stay tuned for next friday when we find out just what Faith did to get shunned!