Send my Love to the Bottom of the Ocean

When Roger tells me that we'll be boarding the Titanic on her maiden voyage, I haven't the slightest idea what to think. It isn't like him to splurge on luxuries like this, where they offer an experience rather than a statement that can be worn.

One-hundred-fifty dollars for a first-class berth, what is he thinking?

Roger assures me that the price is fair, and that I'll understand once I see the majesty that is the Titanic. All the splendor of a grand hotel contained within a ship.

I don't see the what all the hubbub is about. There are plenty of lavish hotels in places full of breath-taking sights. Sights that can be enjoyed while safely on land.

What a heartless man Roger is. He knows that the idea of being on a boat terrifies me, where there's no land in sight. Just endless water kept away by the walls of the ship.

My one solace is that Maryanne's husband has purchased tickets as well.

Unlike me, Maryanne has no fear of the water or of being on a boat. She's excited to explore this new portion of the world that has so far been hidden from her. To see water stretch out around her as far as she can see. For reasons I am unable to fathom, she is enchanted by the very idea of boarding the Titanic.

It would be a small blessing if some of her steadfast optimism could rub off on me.

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I grip onto Maryanne's hand with enough force that her bones creak as we make our way onto the Titanic. Roger has the luggage, but when he glances at our joined hands, there's a touch of relief in his eyes that it isn't his hand I'm crushing.

Then, once we step inside the ship, my fear fades into awe. Roger was not lying when he talked about the splendor held within the Titanic. It truly contains the luxury of the finest hotels.

After we're shown our lodgings, Maryanne and I take our time in freshening up before we explore the deck. This is, after all, a vacation, and we see no need to rush off in exploration. Perhaps, when we are ready, the other passengers will have sated their curiosity so we can move about without a crowd.

And we spend our days like that. Walking the first class decks in search of hidden wonders that we missed on our first, fourth, or tenth circuit of them. In the afternoons, we play bridge and have tea with a few other ladies from the first class decks.

Roger and Maryanne's husband spend their time with other wealthy gentlemen aboard the ship, talking about business and other utterly boring matters, I assume. We only see them at dinner, which all four of us have together, and at night when we all retire to our dreams in preparation for another day.

On April 14th, we settle into bed like any other night. Unaware of the devastation that awaits us.

And when that devastation hits, time becomes a blur.

I'm lost in a sea of panic, confusion driving everybody around me. Roger has his arm around my shoulders, grip tight to keep me near him, as he leads my through the halls and up to the deck where the chilly night air of the Atlantic bites into us.

The vague thought that I'm not properly dressed for this flits through my mind, though I know that what I'm wearing should be at the bottom of my list of concerns.

Somebody is yelling, "Women and children first!"

I don't know where Maryanne and her husband are. I can't remember passing them as we fled to the lifeboats. All I can do is hope that they're safe.

I'm ushered onto a lifeboat, but Roger doesn't follow. We're sent out in hopes of another ship coming to rescue us, but I'm too numb to feel hope.

In the distance, the Titanic sinks. All I can do is watch, wondering if it has taken my love to the bottom of the ocean with it.

Roger, my dear, I'm sorry that I was right this time.

I wish that I wasn't.