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Salmon for da Boys

A Canadian fishin tale

By KatPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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Salmon for da Boys
Photo by Drew Farwell on Unsplash

You know Byron? Yeah, small guy, not is small is that Ronny da Rat fucker but is still small. On B Shift. Yeah part a da Newfie crew. E’s on nights now but e’s always got some fuckin liquor kicking round. Last time da crew wanted to burn da turnaround, e fished a two sixa whiskey out a da back a one a da toilets on da secon floor. Water conservation, yees got to get wit da times. Where e ides it all? Secret’s tighter than a clam’s arsehole but I bet it’s sprinkled all over this camp like little gold nuggets. Sneaky fucker.

Anyways, im n Scotty n Dave went fishin on their last out. Met up at Scotty’s place on da coast and took out da old boat. You seen pics a that lady? Ya, Vitamin Sea. E's a fuckin joker hey? Anyways, great day, bites left n right, sun shinin n shit, well da boys are gettin right tied up how they do. Everyone’s catchin fish but Byron. Oh shit e’s startin ta get right ornery about it hey? Makin jokes about changin rods with da boys n such. Gettin a bit touchy wit da whiskey n such.

Then e gets one on there. Zings er right out, boys are all on der feet, fishes crossin over da back, they’re bringin in da gear is fast is they can, Scotty’s tryin ta get da boat turnt to keep Byron’s fish on is side. This big fuckin udder boat has gone pass now n da waves are startin to rock dem side to side like a fuckin cradle cause Scotty’s gone n turnt sideways now n Byron’s tryin ta hold it soft n let it play but e’s pretty tied up tight with da whiskey n now they’re all yellin n carryin on god damn it if they didn’t get that fish up close ta da boat.

N e’s a big fucker. Biggest of da day. Byron’s only got bout twenny test, so what does da Newfie do? E hikes up those fuckin jeans a is n dives over da side, arms over is head like a fuckin ballerina. Da boys lose it. Dave’s got is rod now but never got is own up so e’s playin da two n tryin not ta get it all shit tangled. Scotty’s yelling what da fuck Byron, it’s a right mess. But that arsehole wrestled that fish like a goddamn cowboy layin down a calf, damn near hugged it to death. E was treadin water like e’s on da water polo team. Yeah, that little fucker, didn’t think e could move like that didya? Ha. E brings it up da side a da boat n Dave’s finally got is shit together n gaffs the fuckin thing. Byron’s bobbing round n da water lookin like a cat with a mouse in is mouth. Smug, you know like? Nah, cold doesn’t bother that fucker. E let Dave do da deed. Fillet dem up near da lauch. Huge Chinook, folks peekin over ta see. Da best yer money can buy. Made da guttin table at da wharf look like fuckin doll furniture. A good day for da boys.

E better be bringin some a that up ta camp for us boys hey? Yah, I hear e’s smokin a shit tonne so we can feast n get a drink on fer next turnaround. I’m bringing in a extra bottle n squirrlin it away till then. You bess be doin da same ya? I be hidin my own fuckin gold nuggets n not telling a one a ya.

Adventure
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About the Creator

Kat

A westcoast modern mystic and mother of two.

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