Running With Wolves

Everywhere we looked there was snow. We had lost track of how long we had been walking, but it had been some time. Progress was slow and only getting slower by the day. We had made it to the Ottowa River, thankfully traversing the frozen waters with no drama. If we thought it had been cold before, on the other side of the river was a whole different story. It was as though we had stepped onto another planet. The snow was coming down in thick sheets by this time and it was difficult to see very far ahead, but what we could make out ceased our tracks. Where buildings should have been, there was only snow; an endless expanse of snow with the very tip of a roof spotted at random intervals. I tried not to think about those who might not have made it out in time and now lay buried in their homes. My heart fell as hopes of finding Rowan alive plummeted. If it weren’t for that niggling feeling in the very deepest part of my soul, I would have given up. I hadn’t received a mental image for a while now and the last one I did get was not very helpful; just another brilliant flash of white with a few added grey blobs. Were they supposed to be people? Then a word had come to me. Wolves. They were wolves? What could this mean? Was she being attacked by a pack of wolves? No. I could sense no fear in her image anymore. That was promising. I tried to calculate how much time would have passed since this ice age – I could deny it no longer – had started. The days were beginning to blur together and our cell phones had long run out of battery. We had no idea what day it was. We were exhausted and cold and it was getting extremely difficult to keep moving.

On and on we went. Even when the building tops became invisible, on we pushed across uninterrupted fields of white. We had not come across one person in all this time, which I estimated to be approximately two weeks. Though we had been certain we were heading in the direction of Halifax, I was no longer sure. We had only our compass to guide us and for all I knew, we could have got turned around and were walking back the way we came. Our supplies were dwindling and we were surviving on strict rations. We had thought we would be able to restock along the way. We couldn’t have known everything would end up buried under mountains of snow and ice.

“Reuben?” Seth drew up beside me. “We should go back.”

I didn’t even realise I had stopped – mid-step, too, by the look of it. I turned to him and sighed. “Go back where?”

“Back. Anywhere there is civilisation. I can’t keep going and neither can you. If we do, we will die out here. We should go back and wait this thing out like Rowen is probably doing, safe and warm.”

I could still feel the connection, the rope pulling me towards my twin that told me she was alive. It had to mean she had found somewhere safe, didn’t it? Seth coughed violently. He had started several days ago and though he didn’t say anything, I knew he was struggling. We both were. I couldn’t allow myself to be responsible for Seth’s death and I couldn’t tell him to turn back alone. He would never survive. I stood there pondering my options. Maybe I could take Seth back to where there were people and head back out on my own. Yes, I thought, that’s what I will do.

“Okay,” I said aloud. “We’ll turn around.” I will come back for you, Rowen. Do you hear me? I won’t leave you.

Seth gave a nod and we set out. He coughed again, causing me to cringe and pray earnestly that he would make it back. I can’t really say I was religious. It wasn’t like I went to church every Sunday. Sure, we went as a family at Easter and Christmas, but I think that was more because we thought it was the right thing to do rather than because we held belief in the idea of God. Over the years, I’d given it some thought every now and then, however, I was yet to come up with a solid opinion. I guess I believed there was something out there, something greater than ourselves. I just wasn’t sure what. The Bible pulsed in my pocket. I had taken to reading it each night, finding myself devouring the words like food. Even Seth started to take an interest. It became our nightly ritual and we came to find ourselves relying on it more and more. Some of the passages didn’t make much sense, so we would skip over those ones. Others, though… others seemed to sing with power and strength, filling us full of wonderful sentiments and promises. Maybe it was God, maybe not, but it was something and we would take whatever we could get to help us through this journey.

That something must have had other plans. To my despair, when I woke the next morning, Seth did not. I reached out a trembling hand to feel for a pulse. His skin was frozen, blood no longer pumping through the veins and arteries. I wasn’t usually one to cry, at least, not of my own volition. When Rowen cried, on the other hand, I couldn’t help but cry as well. Even if we were miles apart, I would suddenly find tears streaming down my cheeks and I would know immediately that Rowen was crying, and quite often, why. Right now, the tears spilled from my eyes, pouring forth my own emotions, exhaustion and fear. I could feel the tears freeze on my cheeks before they made it half way down my face. I don’t know how long I sat there, sinking into the deepest depression I had ever experienced, and for a while, I considered just staying where I was until I died. It was only fair, since it was my fault Seth was dead. Part of me knew Seth would say otherwise, but what did it matter what Seth thought now. Every so often, I’d think I’d see his body move, twitch, and would shake him violently, screaming his name. When he wouldn’t wake up, I’d scream again.

“Where are you now, God?” I cried in disdain, among other unintelligible babblings. I think I was losing it.

I wrenched the Bible from my pocket and threw it at the side of the tent. It landed with a thud, splayed open. I ignored it. Then, just when I thought I had made up my mind to stay put, a strong image flared to life in my head along with the word “brother.” It was so vivid, so strong it came like a slap in the face, and I gasped in shock. It was not dissimilar to the ones from before; just blinding white snow and wolves. Why was Rowen showing me wolves? I hadn’t figured that out yet. And now, when I was thinking I would not see or hear another message from her again, I get this; right when I was about to give up. Was it a coincidence? Possible, yet, being Rowen, likely not. Either way, it was the awakening I needed. What had I been thinking? I didn’t have time to die. I had to find my sister. She was out there, right now, alive and needing me. Get up, Reuben. Get the hell up! I unzipped the door of the tent and dragged Seth’s body out. I felt like a robot set to automatic as I used a small shovel to dig an icy grave. It was the right thing to do.

“I’m so sorry, Seth,” I whispered, crouching before the makeshift grave. “I should have told you more, but I loved you. You weren’t just my mate; you were my brother. Thank you for everything. I will never forget you, and if I live through this, I’ll find your family and I’ll make sure they know how amazing you are… were,” I amended, a lump catching in my throat. Rising, I tried not to think about what would happen if the ice melted. If it ever melts, I thought bitterly.

With a last look at the fresh mound of snow, I re-entered the tent to begin packing. The Bible lay where it had fallen, still open. Gingerly, I picked it up and glanced at the page.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

It was a verse from the book of Revelation. From what I could remember of the few sermons I’d attended, this was talking about the second coming of Jesus, when we would go to Heaven to be with our passed loved ones and everything would be perfect. I rolled my eyes. I wanted to still be angry at the injustice of it all; Seth, my family, this damned ice age and everything else. Stubbornly, I tried to hold onto the rage, to bury it and let it fester away inside. But I couldn’t. It was slipping away, escaping my desperate clutches and being replaced by peace.

“No!” I didn’t have the right to feel peace. At least your parents and Seth are somewhere far better than here. Even my thoughts betrayed me, though they were right. Still, it didn’t make it any easier.

Fighting an internal battle, I finished packing and readied myself to go on alone; except there was something blocking my path. I blinked several times thinking I must have been hallucinating. Before me, stood a wolf; a majestic beast with grey and white fur and sapphire blue eyes. It was the most beautiful wolf I had ever seen, though there was something strange about the way it was looking at me. I didn’t feel threatened. There was no malice or savageness in the wolf’s silent gaze. Instead, it looked at me tenderly, like it knew me; like it knew who I was and everything about me. I squeezed my eyes shut, shook my head and looked again. The wolf was still there, cocking its head as if to say, “What are you doing?” Slowly, the wolf approached me. Still, I did not feel I was in any danger. The term “angel” came to mind as it kept inching forward until it was close enough for me to reach out a hand and touch the soft fur. Even so, I didn’t move, staying frozen to the spot as I waited to see what the wolf would do. Suddenly, the wolf nipped at the sleeve of my jacket and gave a small tug.

“Hey!” I cried.

The wolf cocked its head once more, turned and started to walk away. I thought it was leaving until it paused to turn its head back in my direction. Frowning, I took a step. It gave me what could only be a nod before beginning to walk again. Was I meant to follow it? I must have been because, when the wolf looked back at me for a third time to see I hadn’t taken another step, it trotted back over to nip and tug at my sleeve again.

“Ok! I get it. I’ll follow you.”

Shaking my head in bewilderment, I took off after my strange new companion. Maybe I’m dreaming. These things didn’t happen in real life. They did to Rowen, whispered a quiet voice. Yeh, well, I’m not Rowen, I huffed. Another vision sprang to life. In it, I saw a small log cabin nestled among trees and snow. Strange. It didn’t feel like it came from Rowen. I noticed the wolf studying me intently.

“Was that you?” I asked incredulously.

The wolf gave another nod and my jaw dropped. Rowen was the one who could talk to wolves, not me. The wolf’s eyes bored into mine as another image accosted my vision; an image of a woman I knew all too well. Long, blonde hair framed a face identical to mine – if only more feminine – and deep, forest green eyes peered out at me. It was Rowen. I inhaled so sharply that I choked and, gasping for air, I met the wolf’s gaze.

“You know my sister? You know Rowen?” I demanded.

In reply, the wolf simply turned around, beckoning me to keep following. I had no idea where I was, although it should be somewhere in Quebec if we had stayed true to our course. Should I trust this wolf? Rowen would, my conscious told me. That decided it. With this spectacular creature by my side, I began the next chapter of my journey. I’m still coming, Rowen.

Continue on to read chapter four here: