Rick

“I’ll make it easy for you, I'll leave” Rick quickly put on his jacket and headed out the door. I sat there on my bed, my head spinning trying to figure out what was happening. What changed in the last few seconds? A part of me wanted to get up and go after him but I was so confused I decided to stay in bed instead. I heard my front door open and close. Why was he like this? Why was he such a drama queen? I was unsure if I had the patience and tolerance to keep this relationship going. He was a good man, smart and funny, this is one of the reasons why I kept seeing him. But he also had this side, this dark and moody attitude that showed up when I least expected it. Perhaps it was best to let him leave me, like he said. If he didn’t leave me I was unsure I could leave him.

Outside Mildred’s apartment building stood Rick smoking a cigarette. He stood there wondering what to do next. As he inhaled the hot smoke into his lungs he closed his eyes. He rubbed his forehead and kept looking up at Mildred’s window. He was unsure if he was doing the right thing or not. He liked Mildred, even more than liked, he was pretty sure he couldn’t live without her. Yet, he had stormed out of her apartment like a two year old throwing a tantrum. As he remembered his actions, Rick was embarrassed. He decided to get in his car and leave. Perhaps later after a nice bath he could figure this whole mess out.

Mildred finally got up from her bed and headed to her kitchen. A few minutes ago Rick had been at her apartment and they had shared a lovely meal. As she stared at the dishes and glass he ate and drank out of, Mildred suddenly got very sad. Not sad enough to shed a tear but sad enough to where she could not muster up a smile even if her life depended on it. As she washed and cleaned she thought about Rick. Since the day she had met Rick she had realized he was unlike any other man she had ever met. Mildred realized right away that Rick was special. In the few weeks that they had shared together Rick had shown himself to be unique and different which was exciting for Mildred. But now Rick had started to show another part of himself, one that Mildred wasn’t sure she liked as much. It had happened twice now when out of the blue Rick would show distaste for something and would get into a mood. He never scared Mildred; she knew he was not the type to take his anger out on her person, but it did bother her that the moods came out of nowhere. This time Rick was angry about her suggesting they go see some friends for the weekend. Rick’s attitude went from romantic to frantic and nervous and then he decided to storm off. Mildred had dated a few men in her time and she was not a young thing anymore, she knew better than to attach herself to a man like Rick. Yet, she could not find it in her to properly exclude him from her life. She decided to go to bed and trust that in the morning she would know what to do.

Rick sat in his bath tub smoking a cigarette and thinking about Mildred. As per usual he was fighting a war in his head, while barely changing his facial expression. On one hand Rick had decided he could never go back to Mildred, what was the point? He had proved to himself yet again that he could not handle relationships and everything that is attached to them, walking away was something Rick was used to and could do without feelings. However, on the other hand he still wanted Mildred, he really liked this woman, she was different from the other women in his life. Mildred never ran after him or called him to apologize when there was nothing to apologize for. She was unique, precisely because she was unique, Rick realized she deserved better than him, better than what he could offer which was a smidge of what she needed. Rick closed his fist and punched the side of his white bathtub. I guess another one bites the dust.