Remembrance

November 25, 2073

I stared at the lab results in disbelief. I was only 47, it was too soon. But the lab results didn’t lie and neither did the date of my appointment with the center. I tried to calm my breathing and still the tremors in my hands. How had it come to this?

The world had been massively over populated and no one seemed to have a solution. As disease and famine ripped through our world it became apparent that something had to be done.

The problem was that nobody could agree on the solution. World leaders argued while common people starved to death. Eventually all the attempts at goodwill and cooperation evaporated and the entire planet dissolved into war. Each of the biggest countries throwing blame and then bombs at each other. Within 10 years the problem of overpopulation had been solved by chemical fallout. Unfortunately the destruction also laid claim to the little resources we had left. Despite all the deaths there were still too many people for the amount of clean water and air remaining.

A young leader had stepped forward and proposed a radical idea to save us from extinction. The World Bureau for Resource Management and Allocation came into existence and with it aggressive laws that would ensure the human race would survive.

No longer would children be conceived by accident. Instead they were a resource to be managed, planned and assigned by lottery. All women were required to report to the center to have their eggs counted and for tests to determine if their eggs were healthy enough to fertilize or their body healthy enough to carry a baby.

I was 35 when the law passed. I was in good health and it never occurred to me that when it came time for my examine that I wouldn’t be considered relevant anymore. That All the years of my life experience could be condensed down to 5 viable eggs. I felt betrayed by my own body. Science said I had been born with 6 million eggs. Now only 5.

It had taken 12 years for the center to test me. If I had known the results I would have lived more.

November 27, 2073

I sat at the small table by the window staring into my cup of tea.

My daughter had called earlier would be arriving soon to share some news. Probably a promotion. At 28, she was a successful doctor at the the population clinic. In the upper eschalons of society she enjoyed perks she had not had before the war.

The door buzzed and opened and she rushed in, overflowing with excitement!

“Mom! Guess what?” She practically yelled as she threw her arms around my neck. I tried not to cling too tightly. Tried to act normal.

“I’ve been picked! I get to have a baby mom!!!” She gushed with joy.

I smiled at her beautiful face. Remembered the joy of feeling her grow inside me. Remembered her first kicks. Remembered the pain and the blood and water as she tore into the world. A force to be reckoned with.

I was glad that she would have the chance to be a mother. Her appointment at the clinic had been 5 years ago and she had been heartbroken to find She had no viable eggs. However because of her healthy womb and her job she was still considered a candidate for a child. Her youth had saved her where my years had condemned me.

I looked away from her and tried to hide the tears in my eyes. I understood now. Why they had waited to test me. It was best for a child to have similar genetics when possible. She could carry my eggs, and without knowing it would birth her own sister. I hid my tears. I couldn’t take this from her. I couldn’t let her greatest joy be mixed with sorrow. Instead I just stared at her face and memorized each freckle.

I smiled brightly, and asked “when is your implantation day?”

“Friday” she said. They will be implanting 5 eggs. Hopefully one will take. “Will you be there?”

“I will try sweetheart but I have a doctors appointment that day.” I lied. “Nothing serious, we can have dinner.”

I gave her another hug as she started to leave. I held her just a little longer. Inhaled her fresh clean scent. Memorized the warmth of her smooth cheek against mine.

“I love you so much” I whispered.

“I love you too” she said back and then she was gone. I wondered if she would look back and regret not lingering a moment longer, but how would she have known.

November 29,2073

I surveyed the room. All my sparse belongings fit into a couple boxes. Mostly a few books and pictures.

I sat down at the table and finished the letter I had written to her. It was so impossible to condense a lifetime of love into a few paragraphs but I tried.

I slipped the chain with the heart shaped locket from around my neck. It had been my great grandmothers, and grandmothers and so on until it came to me. Now it would be hers.

I slid it into the envelope and sealed it. Leaving it on the table.

She would find it in a couple days.

My door buzzed and it was time. The transport had arrived to take me to the center. Once I arrived I would be made comfortable. Sedated. My eggs gently removed. Somewhere else in the same building my sweet daughter would be laying there prepped to receive them.

She would be implanted and lay back on a comfortable bed in a room full of bright colors and happy music and revel in the life that she had been given.

After the removal i would lay back in a comfortable bed, in a room full of soft colors and even softer music and they would slide a needle into my IV that would end my life.

I went to my death quietly, having given all of myself for the next generation. For hope that they would survive.

I laid there as the drug flowed into my vein and remembered her birth, her first smile, her first steps, her laugh. My mind filled with all the moments that had made up the life I was given and would now give back. I remembered her with love and then there was no more.