Remember me in the meadow

Every time they had visited his mothers grave stone his wife had made him repeat the promise , the plan they had made many years before. That when one of them died that they should be cremated and their ashes scattered in the marigold meadow that was growing in the corner of the cemetery. They always sat on the bench looking at the beautiful colours during the spring and summer, always waiting for their return when the weather was harsh.

So when Sarah got the news everyone dreaded the plan was slowly put in to action. She was always very organised and liked to be prepared, even if it was for her final few months on earth. She wanted to be scattered in a certain part of the meadow as it seemed to have the nicest colour mix. As she joked with Paul it was shaded and she wasn't a great fan of too much sun.

Sarah's organising helped her cope, Paul let her be but was always close if needed. He wasn't able to be so calm and prepared, his emotions were still spinning. The doctor started with the usual I am sorry speech and he didn't hear much else. Cancer has spread, few months and lots of sorry was all he heard. They both processed the news on the drive home and then collapsed in each others arms as soon as the door shut on their home of 30 years.

After hours of tears, hugs and few words Sarah sat up to begin her plans for the end. As the cancer wasn't new they both knew today was a possibility, they wanted more time of course but also separately knew a long time suffering helped nobody. Also having a plan of action meant they didn't need to suddenly make plans. Sarah had a list of who to phone, who to message and even who to invite to the funeral.

Not surprisingly all paperwork was ready, the will done, the undertaker to call and even the running order for the service before her cremation. Although Paul wasn't sure how she could be so prepared, even before the diagnosis. He had to admit that he was glad as he wasn't sure he could face all the planning, especially after the final day of their long and happy marriage.

The next few weeks were full of tearful phone calls and tearful meetings with family and friends. All of the plans they had made before the fateful doctors visit carried on until Sarah's health nose dived in only a few days. She had obviously been struggling for a week or two but finally she gave in and decided enough was enough. The rest of her time was to be spent at home, obviously nursing care was ready when she needed it.

It took just 10 days from giving in to the pain that Sarah's body gave in totally and she passed away in Pauls loving arms. Paul knew what came next but for now he couldn't let her go. Just a few more hours and then he could start the journey from his arms to the marigold field. The nurses who had helped Sarah through her last few hours had gone. Paul needed to make the call to start Sarah's final journey.

The final journey seemed to fly by and now Paul sat in their car with his wife next to him, al least her ashes were there. He had decided he wanted to do this alone and had arrived just before the cemetery gates opened. The caretaker let him in and they exchanged brief pleasantries. Paul decided he would sit on their bench, spend some time with his mum and them scatter Sarah's ashes.

As ever he chatted to his mother like she was sitting across a dining table from him. Telling her about the funeral and the flowers and what he was going to do today. Then it was time, the end of Sarah's long journey.

He walked slowly to the marigolds, not wanting their journey to end. He couldn't go much slower without actually stopping but he arrived eventually. He held the urn tightly and played some of their best times together in his head. Their holidays, theatre visits and all the numerous highlights. He repeated I love you over and over until it was the right time.

He walked to the chosen spot and slowly opened the urn, he hoped she would do the magic springy snake trick and jump out of the urn. He smiled at his own macabre joke and slowly sprinkled the ashes over the ground around the best flowers. He tried to aim for the ground, any on the flowers might blow away.

Their plan had been that who ever died last would also be cremated and sprinkled here. They had no close family and so had made arrangements with the local funeral home to do the job for them. They even had a map of the marigold patch to get the right spot. Paul had the copy of the map with him in a file, it also stated which funeral home was to collect him, who to contact and which solicitor had his will.

On top of the file was a hand written note, written the night before. In it he explained that their forty year journey was one he didn't want to end. He asked for his funeral to be arranged as quickly as possible, followed by cremation and scattering with his wife. He also apologised to the person who would find his body once the tablets had done their job.

As he drifted into unconsciousness he kept seeing her and he kept whispering I will be with you again soon.