Red Ribbon

Auschwitz 1942

“Bara! Where’s Bara?” I shout above the chaos. There’s a tangle of arms and legs; I try to find my own. I’m stepping on something eerily feeling like human bones, but people are being pushed out of the cattle cars, desperate for air they're deprived of and I tumble down. “Bara!!”

“Just walk!” I hear my mother’s shouting voice. It sounds miles away. Everything sounds miles away.

“I can’t!”

“Just walk!!”

Everything happens too fast. I get up; I don’t have time to brush myself clean. I see things my mind doesn’t process; Mothers around screaming children, lost children screaming for their mother, little children clutching little children and unmoving little children on the ground. I think of Bara. Where is she? Gold freckles parading over her nose, clear gray eyes, frilly dress Mama sewed just for her and a matching red ribbon tying her spaghetti-like hair into a work of art. Bara.

Where’s Bara??

A thwack lands on my head. I stumble. A soldier in crisp uniform stalks away, a stick swinging from his black shiny belt. My frenzied mind turns blank. It remains blank for a long long time. I suddenly find myself in a line. I must be in the correct one because mine is comprised of women and children only. The row of men on the other side of the platform march forward. Some don’t. People step over them. But all my mind sees is Bara’s red ribbon.

When I look down, there’s a dog at my knees. His black eyes hiss with hatred. His bright red tongue dangles like Bara’s red ribbon. The line moves. I’m frozen. It rips a chunk off my skirt, my favorite plaid skirt I worked weeks to sew. I don’t even care. The coat in front of me begins to move. I want to move too, but my feet are jelly. A slice of pain darts through my shoulder. I see Bara’s red ribbon again and then another angry soldier with a stick. My shriek of agony is swallowed by the cacophony. My shoulder burns, my bones ache, but my feet have regained their mobility. I march forward. The lady before me turns around for a moment.

Mama!

Her head held high, her elegantly-paced walk ruined by a limp. I quickly cut the line, and desperately tap her on the back of her collar. “Mama!” my voice is drowned by all that’s happening. She doesn’t turn around. I shake her shoulder, tap her back again desperately. Mama!! I feel like crying. Mama never ignored me, never! and now that I need her more than ever... I pull at the frayed kerchief on her head. She quickly grabs it and pushes it forward without a backward glance.

…And then everything goes black again. I don’t know what happened or for how long, but when I feel like my eyes are open, all I see are blurs of black, gray, brown and bows that suddenly morph into shoes, thousands and thousands of walking shoes. Some are boots, some are cloths, some are barefoot and some have Bara’s red lace-ups, but all march one after the other, kicking up a cloud of dirt and dust. I slowly ease my way up and subconsciously dodge something wiz past. My head swivels back as it hits the metal post of the wires behind me.

A bullet.

And wait, something else too. I slither on the earthen floor, feel the rocks chafe my legs and warm blood ooze out. Something on the barbed wire flutters in a breeze that knows of no evil.

It’s there beneath a rusty metal sign with the words: Vorsicht Hochspannung Lebensgefahr (Danger High Voltage) A red ribbon tied into a bow on the barbed wire, frayed edges fluttering as if dancing. I lunge forward, pocket it and slip into the line.

There’s hope. In a world filled with hate and cruelty there’s hope and miracles.