R-38

The floor vibrates beneath her feet. A constant whistling sound, at times a howl like a forlorn call in the night, awakens Raina. With each breath, pain shoots up her side like a fire forcing her to cringe. Her throat feels raw. The sound reminds her of a clashing of steel echoing throughout the passenger Car. Her pupils adjust to the dim light.

She can only see a woman's reflection in the train's glass window. A familiar face that she tries to recognize. She waves her hand, and the reflection does the same. There is a bump on the left side of her head. She then acknowledges that she is the woman as she tenderly palpates the area on herself. She presses her aching forehead against the window to catch a better glimpse of the outside, surprised by how its coolness dulls the throbbing pain inside her head.

Eventually, stars uncover themselves from the sky's dark blanket. The lights inside begin to flicker. Raina glances at the seats; she feels an absence before her brain can process their emptiness. Whose? She doesn't know. Nausea creeps up from Raina's abdomen. She wants nothing more than to get off, but the train shows no signs of slowing down. What happened to her? How did she end up on the train?

......

With wet hair, cheeks devoid of all feeling, a bruised nose and a burning sensation deep within the toes, Raina continues to walk.

The cold wind blasts through the trees, finding its way through every layer of her damp clothing. Snow continues to fall and sparkle against the sun's rays–tiny ice crystals pack layers upon each other, resurfacing every time a strong breeze comes around. Snowflakes land on the tip of her nose and eyelids, creating an initial sting that quickly disappears. Shallow fast breaths escape through her nostrils as her feet increase their walking pace through the snowy patches covering the town.

"Jake, Jake. Where are you? I don't have time for games," yells Raina.

Tall, leafless trees and electric poles are barely visible in the distance. Another bleak day to add to their journey. Things are going to change soon for both of them.

Raina searches through the obscurity as the snow falls with an urgency. The wind whips by, and all Raina feels is tiny knives assaulting her face with a cold icy breath circling her neck. While adjusting her scarf, a rapacious set of arms surrounds her, pushing her to the snow-covered ground.

She looks up to see the devilish grin on his face.

"Jake, you little prick."

"You need to let loose and have some fun, Raina."

"We can have fun when we get to the station, Jake," barks Raina. "One of us needs to take things seriously, and it seems the only mature person here is me!"

Jake extends a hand to Raina. Raina accepts his gesture leaving her body's imprint encased in the snow.

"The station is over here. We're not that far away," says Jake.

"Great. I'm tired and hungry and in no mood to keep walking for too much longer. You ate the last can of corn, remember?"

Jake knows better than to keep tormenting his sister. He remains silent as they take their final steps to the station.

Men and women line every wall. Raina closes the gap between herself and Jake, wondering what happened to the children. Too many prying eyes make her uncomfortable. They should have known everyone left would come. It is their only way out–their only means to remain alive. Families hurdle together, whispering amongst themselves.

Lucky for them, they find a spot towards the back near the tracks. The tracks are barely visible. A thin layer of snow covers it like a veil protecting its secret. Jake takes a seat on the concrete floor next to their backpacks. Raina's back presses into the adjoining brick for support. Her fingers circle the vines running along its sides, reminiscent of a witch's skinny finger. She remembers the wall once having an earthy, monolithic color as though an artist had painted them.

Nothing is the same.

A loud voice emerges from the crowd.

The train will be here soon. The administration condemns all violence. There will be no rushing. Please line up, and a member from each family will come forward to receive their sitting assignment.

........

Raina readjusts herself in her seat while trying to shake the fog inside her head. She searches the walls for signs, posters, and neon lights that would indicate where she is going. Raina sees nothing. Not even a map. She pats down her pockets which leaves her disappointed. No ticket either.

The Car she is in is empty except for an older couple sitting a few seats ahead of her. The man's hair glimmers, reminding her of snow. The woman is wearing a hat.

"Sir, ma'am, do you know where we are going?

Raina walks toward them.

"Sir."

"Ma'am."

His hazy and bluish grey eyes are open. Raina focuses on the fragmented blood vessels. His skin is cold to the touch. Raina places her hand over her mouth to stifle the scream forming in the back of her throat. Will what happened to them happen to her, too?

"Come with me, please," says a man whose voice sounds familiar.

Raina's body immediately tenses. Warmth spreads across her skin. Her shoulders rise while she clenches her jaw. The closer he gets, the louder each step echoes off the floor. She turns around slowly, her hands now warmer with beads of sweat along their surface. She doesn't look at him but stares past him to the door.

"Come with me," he repeats. This time his voice is gravelly. "It is in your best interest to follow orders. No one fares well when they defy. Come join the others."

Raina follows him into the neighboring Car. The word 'others' lingers in the air, and their faces begin to appear one by one. The memory of his face strikes her. Where is Jake?

None of the other passengers makes eye contact as she presses into her cold seat.

She adjusts her posture reflexively at the sound of the first note. The ascending musical scale forces everyone to sit at attention.

Music is interrupted again by a man's voice.

Good evening everyone in Car 38. You are the driving force that will keep this train running. The world has changed, and the administration has tasked you with this honor. You should be proud of your sacrifice to keep the remaining survivors alive. We thank you always for your service. I will give further instructions in the morning. Remember, death comes swiftly to those who defy. For those who comply, we provide a life of longevity.

Raina tries to recall what happened, but the more she searches her thoughts, the answers to her questions remain behind closed doors. An aura of uneasiness fills the space. Raina feels the strangeness but fails to pinpoint what is wrong. She licks her dry lips but it does nothing to moisturize them. It is as if a lioness is awakening inside of her stomach. "I hope they will feed us," she whispers.

Thankfully, they receive a small bowl of white rice and green beans. It is tasteless but filling. Raina wants to interact with the others, but the guards always watch. After dinner, classical music plays over the intercom, and Raina falls asleep within seconds.

Musical scales awaken everyone the following morning. The voice returns.

Your day of rest is over. You will resume your responsibilities. Remember, death comes swiftly to those who defy. For those who comply, we provide a life of longevity. Do your jobs with pride.

There are approximately thirty survivors in Car 38. A few, including Raina, enter the kitchen to prepare meals for other survivors, the elite, the administration, and their families.

Everyone is busy whisking, peeling, and pulling out pots and pans, but Raina stands still next to the old sink in the corner.

"You are supposed to be on the other side helping with the eggs, Raina," another woman whispers before quickly walking away.

Raina searches for the egg station and meets two other women and a young man. She looks around the kitchen, and then it comes back to her.

Raina sees herself with Jake reading books stolen from the elite. He was pacing, the book in one hand and the other across his chest. She had never seen him more committed.

"Are you planning on working today, Raina?" the young man's voice interrupts her thoughts. "We don't want any issues this time. You almost got killed."

Raina repeats the word to herself, "killed."

Jake is ahead of her. She tries to catch up to him as they run down the center aisle. Raina draws in huge gasps of air, her chest heaving while trying to ignore the aching pain in her feet. Heavy footsteps follow them with voices yelling for them to stop. They could not stop. None of them looked behind. All Raina could think about was running. Unfortunately, Jake loses his balance. Raina rushes toward him. She searches desperately for a door–a path of escape. However, it's too late.

"Glad to have you back," another woman with ginger hair adds, bringing Raina back to reality.

Raina grabs a bowl from the bottom counter. "How's Jake?" she asks.

"We don't know. We haven't seen him since..."

One of the guards rushes in and says, "Don't you all have enough work to do? I shouldn't hear any talking."

......

Raina stands in line to receive the seat assignment.

"How many in the family?"

"Two," says Raina

Car 38 with a large number 2 enclosed within a circle is on Raina's ticket.

She catches Jake staring at a nearby family.

"I know you miss them, Jake. I miss them too."

Raina feels a lump in the back of her throat as she blinks away tears. So many have died. There are not that many families left. It was the only chance that they had to live.

"Where do you think they will take us?" asks Jake.

"I don't know, but at least we will be safe and won't have to worry about food."

Jake nods his head.

"Yes, it will be nice not to worry about food."

Down the dark well, there is a light, like a flashlight illuminating the dark tunnel with a rumbling that grows closer with every second.

Everyone gets in line as directed. The screaming sound of wind whipped steam and the chugging of engines against the steel slows down to a screeching halt. The doors open.

"We made it, Raina," says Jake.

Raina squeezes his hand. "Time to start a new life."

She hands over her ticket, and they take their seat.

......

"I overheard one of the guards talking. I am sorry, Raina," says Kria.

Kria was like a sister to both of them. None of her family members survived the Transformation. Jake and Raina became her new family.

Raina responds with a long blink. Tears sting the back of her eyelids. She places her hand over her chest, unable to breathe. Pain creeps over her body, flowing like a river coursing through the mountains, eroding every part of her inner self. She is unprepared and desperate to extinguish the burning she feels deep in her soul. If only she could scream–to let out the beast attacking her insides.

They both walk away, tears streaming down their faces.

They need to find a new way to communicate. Raina and Jake were the only two who could read. Once they found out, they tried to kill them. They partially succeeded. None of the other survivors deserves to die. As for the administration and the elite, they did not deserve to live.

Raina begins to plan. They can try to silence them, but they can't take away their complete ability to communicate. J-sign, a mixture of gestures, eye movement and sounds, is born. All of the survivors need to learn it. Moving forward, this is their only form of communication.

..............

No one knows how long they have been on the train. The days and nights all blend. Lately, it hasn't stopped snowing, and the outside temperatures keep plummeting.

There is no physical destination. There are no stops, but Raina and the others are determined to have a life of their own. For now, they continue to follow orders working every day minus their rest day. What else could they do? No one can survive outside–this train is their safe space, their home.

The guards stripped them of all personal belongings. Raina misses the small photo album she had of Jake and her parents. She misses his presence, although he often did something to irritate her. He was her best friend and the only other blood relative she had left.

"We promised we would never leave each other. You broke that promise, Jake. You left me here alone."

Raina squeezes her eyelids shut, yet she feels a warm liquid hit the spot on her arm. No more tears, she reminds herself, although her face says otherwise. She stays hidden in the restroom for a few more seconds till one of the guards knocks on the door.

...........

"There is only a three-month supply of food left," says Kria. "If they can get rid of us, they can extend it for another six more months. That gives them enough time to create more supplies."

The elite and the administration continue to live lavishly. They enjoy gourmet meals with wine and enjoy dessert after dinner every evening. They have been growing their food on the train. Raina and the others always wondered where the eggs came from when there were no chickens, for instance. They were never allowed in those cars. Now, Kira is one of the fortunate ones to work there.

"Those in Car 40 will be one of the first to go," continues Kria.

"I am not surprised. The administration does not care about the elders. The plan was to save themselves. I am sure they hoped more of us died. They tricked us into believing that coming here would lead to a life of longevity. All it has led to is a life of slavery," says Raina.

"I can't believe they lied to us," says Kria.

"Some days, I try not to believe it, but it is the reality we live in."

"Remember, if anyone disobeys, the administration punishes them by denying them meals for days. Just when they think their punishment is over, they serve them a meal containing poison. It is the same poison they use when someone is sick to prevent the spread of infectious diseases. Then they dump their bodies outside the train like they are garbage. Something tells me the administration will try to poison us, Raina."

"You may be right, Kria. Why would they want extra mouths fed? Our lives are not worth saving. However, I won't let that happen."

Kria stops fidgeting and stares at Raina. They hear voices outside the kitchen.

"I know you won't. The rest of us depend on you. We trust you." says Kria before she turns around and leaves.

Raina rubs her fingers across her temple. She does not know how but is determined to devise a plan. The administration always took advantage of the poor– paying them minimum wage while cracking down on their food supply. Raina's family may have been poor, but they lack of money did equal to a lack in their intelligence.

.................

"Unfortunately, one of the elders is sick. I think it's Ms. Marie. The guards moved her to Car 39. You know what that means," says Patrick.

"I sure do. At least Marie will get something delicious to eat– not the typical rice, refined beans or ground-up leftovers from the elite cars," says Luke.

"For once, Ms. Marie will eat like an elite."

"Yeh, but her meal with come with an extra ingredient."

"Get ready, guys," interrupts Raina. "After two months, tonight is the night."

The order comes in for a surf and turf for Ms. Marie. Two guards stand by until the meal is ready.

Raina's heart beats like African drums within her chest.

"Dropping the steak," she yells out, "six minutes to go."

"Got it!" yells Patrick.

Raina's hair lays like a second skin on her forehead. Her shirt clings to her back. The heat as she opens the oven stings her eyes. For once, she misses the cold air.

"You can fire up the shrimp in two minutes, Patrick," she calls out.

"Sure thing!"

Raina unbuttons the button around her collar. She wonders if she is the only one who is suffocating. A quick glimpse around the kitchen answers the question for her. The salty droplets sting her eyes. They are much better at it than she is.

Luke places the plate of steak and creamy garlic shrimp next to the guards.

As one of them removes the small brown bottle from his inner coat pocket, Raina accidentally bumps into him. The bottle does not fall. His grip is tighter than she expected.

"My apologies," says Raina.

He looks at her. "You better be careful what you do. You don't want to end up like Ms. Marie or, better yet, your brother."

Raina does not respond. Her knuckles are white around the cup in her hand. She tries to relax her rigid facial muscles as she walks away.

The guard adds a few drops to the meal before taking it to Car 39.

They never hear any cries. Death is not immediate. Most of them die a few hours later. It is the hope that it is painless. Raina thanks Ms. Marie for her sacrifice.

That evening Raina goes to bed with a smile on her face. Her plan worked!

The other survivors replaced half of the brown bottles stored in Car 1 with similar bottles from the supply closet. Kria took the lead. She has gained the administration's trust and access to the area. The guards are oblivious of the missing set of keys.

..............

"They're planning on killing us all in two weeks," says Kria.

"We execute our plan in one week then. Make sure word spreads to the other Cars. I want everyone to be ready."

Kria places her index finger across her lips and swipes it across. Their sign for agreement.

...................

Things are different. The songs on the intercom are uptempo, and the voice that comes on the intercom is more cheerful.

"It's like they are trying to butter us up," says Raina

Kria agrees.

Raina continues, "Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow freedom awaits."

Initially, Raina thought about beginning with their first meal of the day. There is no need to set off any alarms. Let them eat a nice dinner even though they do not deserve it.

Dinner. Either a bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin with garlic mash potatoes or a beef wellington with roasted baby carrots and a baked sweet potato.

The guards are always the last to eat. By the time they do, it will be too late to save the others.

After completing dinner, Raina takes her seat in Car 38 along with the other survivors. Her heart rate slows, and her breathing returns to normal. No one makes eye contact, but Raina refuses to keep her eyes forward. She watches the guards as they savor every bite and recalls the days when saliva pooled in her mouth–the moments her stomach rumbled, wanting a taste. Tonight she does not envy them.

Upbeat classical music blares through the intercom. Raina shuts her eyes and lightly taps her hand on her thigh. For the first time, she concentrates on the trumpet's solo, which feels her with hope as the entire orchestra culminates in a dissonant clash. Once the song ends, the lights go out. Tonight, many will go to sleep, never to awaken.

The first guard hits the linoleum floor with a thump. The other two rush to him. One presses a button inside the Car, but Raina cannot hear what he says.

Another voice comes on the intercom."Something is going on in the elite Cars. We need help."

Constant calls for help continue for a few hours. Raina is surprised by how much she enjoys the sound of their cries. None of the survivors move. They wait until the end of the calls–until there is silence.

Raina stands and walks over to the body of one of the guards. His eyes are still open. She stares into them, saying, "Today, you took your last breath, but you gave up your soul long ago."

"Get up," she says to the remaining survivors. "Go through every Car. If anyone else has survived, bring them to me."

Raina makes her way to Car 1. She pushes the conductor's lifeless body off the chair, claims her new position, and presses her lips closer to the mic.

"Good evening, everyone. I am Raina, your new conductor. We have taken over the train, now called R-38. You are the driving force that will keep this train running. The world has changed, and it is ours. You should be proud of your sacrifice to keep the remaining survivors alive. I thank you for your service. I will give further instructions shortly. Remember, our goal is to provide a life of longevity, allowing death to come naturally."

Raina sinks into the chair. Jake would be so proud. She listens to the clacking of wheels against steel. They aren't going anywhere. This train is not slowing down—time to execute their survival plan.