Pilgrimage To The Togakushi Shrine
Sparks fly amongst the cedars
As snowflakes dance at the Togakushi Shrine, the air hangs still, providing an eerie backdrop to her beauty.
“Frozen wildflowers slumber beneath the ice of Togakushi shrine, and whispers of another era linger in the mountains of Nagano,” I muse.
“Ain't you all bright-eyes and bushy-tailed,” she says. “That’s all for today.”
Amidst towering thousand-year pine trees that flank the ancient temple's steps, she packs up our equipment. In the chill of the deepening dusk, the ground beneath us has frozen anew.
“One more take?”
She freezes me out.
Known as the Ice Queen, Jeanette, my producer, harbors a contempt for me that began my first day. They say her boyfriend was dismissed to make way for me.
We pack our things into the car. It refuses to start.
Within the frigid car’s confines, I feel my bones shiver.
“We’re going to die out here,” she whispers.
“At least we have each other.”
Her response is another frosty silence.
“What do you fear?” I ask.
Her silence ends. “Being alone forever,” she murmurs.
Alone?
Darkness blankets the desolate mountain. A light flickers, a home nestled in the trees below.
I point. Her gaze follows.
“I doubt they’d welcome a feuding couple with open arms,” she remarks.
“No,” I concede.
I bridge the gap between us. Reluctant at first, she reaches out. Our lips meet fleetingly.
I have little time to savor the moment.
“Let’s go.” She tugs at my arm.
We begin our descent, a newfound warmth pushing us onward.
About the Creator
Scott Christenson
Born and raised in Milwaukee WI, living in Hong Kong. Hoping to share some of my experiences w short story & non-fiction writing. Have a few shortlisted on Reedsy:
https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/scott-christenson/
Comments (6)
Very good Scott. I love how you set-up the scenery. You did a great job in keeping the pace of the story moving. A bit of critique is I probably would have added a little more dialogue between the characters. That way your readers get to know your characters better and you can develop more of a chemistry between them. The dialogue makes them multi-dimensional.
Nice and quick setups for moving the story efficiently with few words. That last line was perfect for the ending. Well done.
It's a funny thing how sometimes perceptions don't match reality
Sometimes, love is very easy to mistake for loathing! Notes: I would love more of a drum roll on that kiss! A bit of will they won't they tension. Chemistry! 😁
Oh wow, I did not see that coming! That escalated quickly, lol! Loved your story!
My first ever romance story, would love any suggestions for improvement? was inspired after reading "enemies to lovers" stories for Writing Battle.